The title is a maxim that has existed since God knows when, and yesterday, life gave me a hard blow that made me realize the reason why it has stood as a general truth for generations of human existence.

At about 3 in the afternoon my mother called me at my celphone when I was in the publications room in school.

"Camille."
"Po?"
"Saan ka?"
"School po, sa pub room. Bakit po?"

At that point, I took myself out of earshot of my fellow Matanglawin staffers.

"Anong oras ka uuwi?"
"Mga 6 po. Bakit, ma?"
"Umuwi ka na kaagad pagkatapos mo diyan."
"Ma, may problema po ba?"
"May pag-uusapan tayo."

Then the line went dead.

I have known my mother for so long that I knew just by listening to how she stresses her words that I was in trouble. I took my phone out of my ear and looked at it with disdain. I wished that I never had it that day.

I went back to the pub room with evident signs of emotional torture. My forehead was grazed with lines of deep thought, my hands were shaking and my eyes were moving around their sockets so much that it hurt my head. I sat down, took a piece of paper (a receipt from McDo lying in the table) and a pencil and wrote possible reasons for my mother's weird demeanor over the phone to pacify myself.

1. she knew that I smoked.
-either from the "Congratulations!" card that Jericho gave me for not smoking for weeks or from other people *gulp*

2. she already knew of our relationship.
-either from the little "logbook" that Jericho and I have or from my blog.

3. she saw our pictures in my folder in our pc.

I dropped the pencil and looked at my list. The smoking was the least of my problems, because I already quit. I was more nervous of the next two reasons. To think of reasons for my mother's call felt like a really bad case of hyperacidity, but rationalizing and thinking of what she'd do after she knew the truth was like evisceration.

My mother obviously hated smoking. She would kill me if she knew. For one, both of my grandfathers died of smoking, and I could die because of it because I was asthmatic. Besides, any parent would get hurt if their son or daughter tried to kill themselves via a vice. Worst case scenario: she'd throw a bitchfit, and make me smoke a whole case in front of her (now, where did I get this idea? Oh, yeah, the dad of a smoker friend did this to him when his father knew of his smoking habit). Two stick would make me woozy already, and I thought that I might end up a coma patient after a sucking and breathing in a whole case. *shudder*

When I was in high school, she was constantly preaching of the damage that romantic relationships bring to academic life. She obviously wasn't for it. All that she said kept me safe and relationship-less in high school, and I am eternally grateful for it. But today is just different.
Worst case scenario: she'll call my guy and demand answers, or she'll transfer me in UP.

I left the pub room early, and met Jericho outside to eat in Wok this Way(a thing that we usually due every Saturday). I told him about my mother's call and more signs of distress appeared. I may have many shaky moments with my mother and sometimes care less for what she has to say, but she is still my mother. I was so scared that I actually ate a full rice meal with meat (I usually give him 3/4 of my share of rice). I showed him my list of possible reasons, and he told me that it's going to be fine. If it's the smoking, he told me to apologize right away and listen to her venting of emotions. What's more, what matters is I already quit the damn habit. As for the last two reasons, he said that the day that my parents will know will eventually come, and it's just that it came today. Everything will be alright. Stop shaking, and don't cry.

I came home early from what the people in the house expected. My mother greeted me and said that she'd talk to me later.

I went up to my room and changed my clothes. When I went down to the dinner table, she asked me the question that felt like a guillotine falling that has miserably failed to cut my head off.

"Ano na nga uli yung dahilan kung bakit may lighter ka sa bag mo noon?"

I suddenly remembered the time when she saw my old purple lighter in my bag when she was looking for a pen. I told her it was for chem class.


*BREATHINBREATHOUTBREATHINBREATHOUTBREATHINBREATHOUT*
I felt like a hyperventilating chicken (Note: This is a simile for a very bad breathing pattern. Bio majors would understand why.).

I stared at my plate. Then she told me what she knew.

She was really angry and disappointed in me. She told me many things, and maybe a dozen of which made me sob and cry. I said I was sorry, and I told her that I quit. Then due to reasons that I probably wouldn't know and for conversation flows that I probably couldn't trace, we talked about Jericho and I.

And so there I was with two secrets that were tied to my legs and arms like ropes tied to two bulls running in opposite directions. My abdominal muscles were sick with tension, and so was my head. I felt a migraine fit coming on.

And so she knew of Jericho and I. She was just waiting for confirmation.
And...

I gave it to her.
Good job, mom. Hitting two birds with one stone.

After our talk, I was still a hyperventilated chicken. I grabbed my phone and I texted Jericho right away. I was shaking whilst punching the keys in my phone. I wondered why it took forever to type 14 words. Or maybe it was just me.

"Be, pinatawad na ako ni mama sa paninigarilyo ko noon. Tsaka...legal na tayo."