Would you like to try dying this once?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

it's going to be a fun, fun semester

Yesterday's enlistment experience was really quite...err...surprising.

I woke up at 5.45 in the morning and sat in front of the computer until six. I've been pressing the refresh button once every 5 minutes after the clock struck six, but to no avail. The AISIS server wasn't up until 6.30 in the morning. Oh, well. So much for the 6 am opening time.

I began enlisting for my classes at 6.30 and I was done around 8. The hour-and-a-half enlistment included the times when I was fixing my schedule on a sheet of paper and the moments when I stared blankly at the screen as I waited for the damn pages to load. Whether the delay was caused by my slow internet connection or the server getting overloaded, I wouldn't know. Ergo, it was filling me with impatience to the brim. Good thing I was feeling patient that day.

And so, after the long, tedious wait I went through, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my class schedule for the first semester of school year 2007-2008:

Mondays and Wednesdays
7-8 PE 104, Aerobics
8.30-9.30 Theology 121
12.30-1.30 Comparative Anatomy Lecture
1.30-2.30 Asian History

Tuesdays and Thursdays
9.00-10.30 Chemistry 11 Lecture
12.00-1.30 Biostatistics
1.30-5.30 Chemistry 12 lab (Tues)
Comparative Anatomy lab(Thurs)

Friday
8.30-9.30 Theology 121
12.30-1.30 Comparative Anatomy Lecture
1.30-2.30 Asian History

Saturday
8.00-12.00 NSTP

Yeah, I know. My schedule sucks more than a suckling pig, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And not to mention that I have to be in school by 7 during Mondays and Wednesdays. But, hey, nothing good came out from complaining because of sucky class schedules. I guess I have to live with this schedule for 5 months. I'd get used to it anyway. After all, I'm not the person who loves slacking off. Way too many breaks will freak me out.

It may seem okay now, but I have this problem still with my schedule; my NSTP.
Argh. If only I knew of the NSTP multiply site before I enlisted to an NSTP section. The freaking site contained all information about the NSTP sections and areas. I was planning to enlist to the NSTP area that's held by Gabay, my org here. But the thing was, I didn't know which section was that. And so I let my mouse do the choosing for me. I went to section AF, and it turns out it wasn't the section held by Gabay. Damn it. Now, I'm waiting for the free for all enlistment time in AISIS. I just hope the Gabay section's not yet full by the time I change my current section. *kneels down to pray*

And oh, somebody's going back home this midnight.
Be safe...come back home to me in one piece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIDENOTE:
Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End is love. The fight scenes, the effects and the witty dialogs were a killer. JOHNNY DEPP is as hot as usual. *tsssssss*.

But SM FAIRVIEW CINEMAS halved the thrill for me.
The movie house's audio sucks.
Damn you, Henry Sy.

# correspondence ended @ 10:41 PM
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

for today is the day we all say "arrrr!"

I'm supposed to be sleeping now, because I have to wake up early to enlist for my classes this coming semester via the internet. But what the hell, I'll let insomnia kick in. Besides, this is the only chance I've got to once again bum out and burn the computer chair with my butt (I hope you guys don't take this literally).

My online reg is scheduled today, at six in the morning. My random number is 88, and yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones *sticks our tongue*. I'm five hours away from the designated time when the registration gates open, and I feel that I would decide not to sleep until the fateful hour comes.

While I was blog-hopping, I came across a site that criticizes (bashing is the more appropriate term, but subtlety is needed) the AISIS (Ateneo Integrated Student Information System) in Gerald's blog.

Check it out here.

To spark your interest, here's an entry taken from the site.

aisis pickup lines

guy: miss, ikaw ba 'yong tinatawag nilang aisis?
girl: ha? bakit?
guy: ang hirap kasi mag-enlist sa puso mo

guy: grabe! there are only two profs remaining since bulok ang aisis!
girl: oo nga eh bad trip, there's not much of a choice 'no?!
guy: pero alam mo, just choose one... it doesn't matter naman eh
girl: why?
guy: kasi in the end, i'll still choose you

guy: ang papangit ng mga schedules natin 'no?!
girl: oo nge eh.
guy: pero buti ka pa...
girl: ha?
guy: maganda.

girl: shit! taken na lahat ng slots!
guy: alam mo, ok lang sa akin kung taken na lahat...
basta ikaw, hindi pa.

In fairness, bumenta sa`kin `tong mga `to.

And oh, yeah...I'm really excited because we'll be watching Pirates of the Carribean today after my sister's appointment with her orthodontist. Finally, the long wait for the third installment of the Pirates series is over. I hope the third part makes up for the cliffhanger syndrome that the second part gave millions of moviegoers around the world. I thought that the second part lacked substance and that kick that's present in the first Pirates, and I know that I'm not the only one who felt this way. But I guess seeing Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom was enough for most moviegoers, so viola, gross earnings still went sky-high. The power of aesthetics never ceases to amaze me.

Speaking of aesthetics, I've decided to change my blog's layout. It's inspired by one of my favorite anime series, Jigoku Shoujo. I hope the new skin's not too scary or dark for you.

I would also like to remind y'all that you can comment on my posts. There are links below each post which says 'make a request' and 'nagajuban's ready' which will each open a pop-up window for commenting and track-backs, respectively. It would be better if you use these rather than the tagboard. See, the tagboard can only hold a small amount of characters. It can't hold lengthy comments, reactions or opinions to my posts. So please exploit this feature. :)

*yawn* Oh, well. Seems like I won't stay awake `till the crack of dawn.

# correspondence ended @ 1:14 AM
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Sunday, May 27, 2007

isang litanya kasi namimiss kita.

If we were asked to enumerate the things that are still indecipherable to humans even if we have in our possession the most advanced technology and developments in this century, human emotions would obviously top the list.

Nobody could clearly define a pattern for human reactions and emotions that persons display in different situations. It is known that every human is different from each other---from their genetic make-up and DNA contents to the very mechanism that makes them tick in this world full of complications and questions that we either dare answer or leave eternally as a set of enigmatic problems. This set of questions is clearly undefined, even to the most brilliant human mind, for these questions require not supreme intellect and logic. Ironically, these questions break and fool wit and understanding making them the most difficult questions to answer. As a matter of fact, these characteristics made them hard to see and know that they are actually existing in their state: almost eternally unanswered and unsolved.

These questions are questions of the transcendental, religion, the complexity of social organizations, collective mentalities and consciousness, the mysteries of cultures and beliefs, even our past and future. Not all bother to ask questions on the things mentioned, but we all know of the questions that everybody recognize as enigma; the issues posed by the human "heart".

Emotions. Nobody really knows where they come from, but scientists present an interesting theory. Biologists say that emotions are in fact, just the increase in the levels of certain hormones and neurotransmitters. The excess levels make you react the way you do when faced with a certain a situation.

If we deem this to be the real reason, then what about crimes of passion? If a stalker kills a girl, then he could plead that he's not guilty due to hormonal imbalance.

Oh, yeah. I can see it now.

"Your honor, my client has experienced increased levels of serotonin in his blood which drove him to be obsessed with the victim. It was an imbalance in his biological mechanism that pushed him to stab the victim which lead to her death. So now, with the evidence due presented, I plead that my client be acquitted and not charged for this case."

Bah.

But isn't the other way around? Isn't it the increase in the levels of these chemicals the reaction mechanism of your body, rather than it being the causative factor for the things that you feel?

Feelings and emotions drive humans to the edge of their sanity and genetic predisposition.
Pity led women to kill themselves and drove men out of their heads, mercy made girls and boys sacrifice their education and young lives, and love and sacrifice made countless humans submit themselves to injustice everyday because of them. But note that it is also pity that saves the hungry, it is that sacrifice feeds the poor, love picks up the wounded and mercy clothes the naked.

We know what these feelings do to us and how they make our lives the way they are right now, but we still don't know where they flow from. Do they come from inside every human, or is there something or someone who supplies them to us? Are they programmed, or conditioned? Are they real, or just pure selfish indulgence?

These things shall be enigmatic for as long as the human race exists.
But having these questions give us reasons to find answers to them, no matter how futile the efforts are.
This is, the ultimate irony of the human race that will stand for generations to come.

Maybe humans are born to be ironic creatures.
That's how we are.
So damn stubborn. So damn hard-headed.
And, just the same, we don't, and maybe, we won't know why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow, you'll be off somewhere, and I'll be left here with nothing to do but to just trust you.
But hey, I just want to let you know that I do...I sincerely do, because I chose to.

Goddammit, Jericho.

.....

I miss you.

# correspondence ended @ 9:01 PM
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tapos na ang summer

Yay. Sa wakas, tapos na ang summer term ko.

Pero...

June 2- Release of grades
June 6- Registration and Enrollment
June 13- Classes resume

Oh, yeah.
Kumusta naman. Parang wala akong bakasyon ah. Haha.

# correspondence ended @ 12:16 PM
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tawa naman dyan

Gusto mong tumawa?

Puwes, panoorin mo ito.

Habang pinapanood mo, sabayan mo narin ng kanta.
Nakakabaliw itoh, pramis.

~~~~~~~~~~
Video link information courtesy of Jason Rombaoa and Rap Fulgar.

# correspondence ended @ 2:09 AM
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Monday, May 21, 2007

To the girl I know I will meet someday

This morning, when I entered in my Fil 14 classroom at CTC 301, I flinched. It was an inferno. I was already sweaty and hot from walking from Berchmans and climbing four flights of stairs, and this classroom never really offered me comfort and rest from the blistering heat of the season. I noticed that our professor, Mr. Devilles, was quite early, as he always entered the room at exactly 9 in the morning. He was wearing a black polo and was wearing a weary expression on his face. I didn't really mind, since I thought that he may be also pissed off with the heat, or maybe he was thinking of how bad it was choosing to wear a black polo on this kind of weather. I went to my seat and immediately took out my fan and started to wave it vigorously in front of my face. The cool air did nothing to ease the heat that was hanging onto my skin like a film. I felt the sweat trickle down by back and my chest, and it was the most irritable feeling in the world. I cursed under my breath. Then, the second bell rang.

Mr. Devilles asked us to bring out a half sheet of paper for our daily quiz (I know you also do this in your Fil 12 class too). After we passed our papers, he said that he would announce something very important. A student of his just died last Saturday of Dengue fever.

It was you.

Mr. Devilles then proceeded to read an essay he wrote about you---how he knew you as a responsible beadle in your Fil 12 class and how they never really thanked you for all your efforts and sacrifices.

As Mr. Devilles was reading his essay, I tried to paint a picture of you in my mind. I tried to imagine what you looked like---how tall you were, what the color of your skin was and how your eyes looked like, which I then knew were chinky, according to Mr. Devilles' description. I can't help but think that maybe I even met you here in school. It could be that I have seen you in the lib, or maybe I was in line with you buying lunch in the caf. Maybe I have seen you in one of the photocopying stations here in school, or perhaps I have been in the ladies' room with you. I imagined that you were beautiful and graceful. But now you're gone, and I will never ever know if I really met you or not.

Then I felt my eyes sting. If it was because of the draft that was coming from the open windows, I can't be certain, but all I knew was I felt a deep pang of emptiness in my chest. I inhaled, and it was painful. Ellie, it felt like the air was hollowing me out, like it was emptying me of pulp like a pumpkin being carved for halloween. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. I tried to scream in my head, but I could hear were incoherent and indecipherable echoes. I shuddered and I realized that it was always the sensation when I wanted to cry. I closed my eyes and held the tears back.

Forgive me, Ellie...but the truth is I wanted to cry not because of your death. I felt this emptiness not because I knew of the implications that your departure may have on your parents, siblings, friends and acquaintances. No.

We were all taught that we shouldn't mourn and cry for the dead, because naturally dying is such a sweet thing, for it frees you from the clutches of the world---from all its goodness and evils, from all its beauty and ugliness. You know what, Ellie, I wanted to cry because I envy you. I envy you because you are now freed from this earth, from your body which is corruptible. I envy you because you have been taken out of this pig sty, which others worship and regard as their heaven. I envy you because you have no more deadlines to meet, no more tests to take and no more things to frown about. You will feel no more fatigue, sickness, dirt, corruption, suppression, oppression and judgment. No more. Just rest.

I'm tired...very tired.
But I know have to live, because I don't know when or how will I be taken from here.

Ellie, I want to see you, because I want to know if I have really met you somewhere or not. So when the time comes I have to die and be finally be freed from this world that makes me suffer so, meet me.

Till then, Ellie.

# correspondence ended @ 3:08 PM
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Saturday, May 19, 2007

From Gerald's blog.

You scored as Education/Counseling. You should strongly consider majoring in Education, such as early childhood education, middle childhood education, secondary education, or related majors (e.g., Vocational Education, Special Education, P.E./Physical Education).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology is a great minor for education majors. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

English/Journalism/Comm

100%

Psychology/Sociology

100%

Education/Counseling

100%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

100%

HR/BusinessManagement

94%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

94%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

88%

Religion/Theology

75%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

69%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

69%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

69%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

69%

Visual&PerformingArts

63%

Mathematics/Statistics

25%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

# correspondence ended @ 3:59 AM
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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Alay sa mga nag-aaral ng Calculus

Oh, sorry naman.
I integrated wrong pala eh.
At moron pa ako.
CHE!

Kinailangan ko munang magpahinga sa kakakatingin sa mga ahas na may numero sa magkabilang dulo at may f(x)dx chorvaloo sa tabi nito.
Nakaka-shonga, promise.
Haaay..kaya ko itohhhh!
DARNA!
waha. Chos. :)

~~~~~~~~
CREDITS:
Image courtesy of Rafael Fulgar.
Ipinadala niya ito sa akin matapos niyang makita ang status message ko sa Y!M ("Calculus. AFK.").

NOTE TO SELF: *******, nagiging bading na yata ako.

# correspondence ended @ 5:07 AM
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

STATUS: nalulusaw dahil nasasabik sa tamis

GUSTO KONG MAG-ICE CREAM BAR SA SHAKEY'S!!

Sana lang may oras ako, dabah.
Nakaka-crayola ang pagsusunog ng eyebrowsh.

# correspondence ended @ 3:51 AM
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gusto kong tumili pero di ko magawa

Hindi ako marunong tumili.

Sige. Pagtawanan niyo na ako kung gusto niyo. Pero, oo. Totoo. Hindi talaga ako marunong.
Kababae kong tao, hindi ko kayang banatin ang mga litid ko para maging tunog takure.

Nadiskubre ko ang kawalang ito noong first year high school. Nanyari ito noong ang mga kabarkada kong lalaki ay nagbabakla-baklaan, at naghihipuan. Sa bawat hipo't kurot sa utong ng isa't isa'y lumalabas ang matinis na sigaw na may impit mula sa mga lalamunan nilang may adams apple. Nagulat ako.

"Pare, ulitin mo nga yun." Sabi ko kay Magnus. Hindi kaila sa kanya na nagulat ako sa ginawa niya.
"Alin, pare?"
"Yung tili mo kanina."
"Kaw nalang tumili, pare. Kaya mo naman yun."

Ibinuka ko ang bibig ko at sinubukan kong tumili. Imbis na tunog-takure, ordinaryong sigaw lang ang lumabas. Inulit ko, pero wala pa rin nanyayari. Matawa-tawang tinawag ni Magnus si Otacan para makita niya rin ang kawalan ko ng talent. Che.

"********, hindi marunong tumili si Miles, pare!"
"Di nga!"
"Oo, ****, tingnan mo. Ulit nga, Miles!"
"Lalaki nga yan, pare! Mas marunong pa tayong tumili o!"

Salamat ha.

Simula noon, nag-iisip na ako ng paraan kung paano ako matututong tumili. Baka sakaling nade-develop naman yun, at hindi siya inborn.

Tuwing break, pupunta ako sa dulo ng corridor ng classroom namin, hahawakan ang rehas na bakal sa may fire exit at hihila ng kapangyarihan mula sa tiyan ko. Sabay bigwas ng, Eto na, tili na ito, panigurado.

Pero hindi. Olats. Sigaw parin.

Sa tuwing susubukan ko, nilalapitan ako ng mga kaklase kong mahihinhin at bibigyan ako ng tips.

"Ipitin mo ng konti ung lalamunan mo."
"Wag kang huminga ng malalim, sa lalamunan lang naman manggagaling yan."
"Subukan mo kayang mag-pa-opera?"

Di ko maalala kung anong ginawa ko sa taong nagsabi na mag-pa-opera nalang ako.

Di naglaon, napagod din ako, at sinabi ko sa sarili ko, Anak ng...sukatan ba ng pagkababae ang pagtili. ASA! ASAAAAAA!!!!

Hayun. Kaya't tinigilan ko ang pagsubok sa pagtili.

At hanggang ngayon, hindi parin ako marunong.

Lalaki nga yata talaga ako.

Toinks.

# correspondence ended @ 1:48 AM
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Thursday, May 10, 2007

isang liham

Mga Kaibigan,

Ano ka sa buhay?

Kakwentuhan.
Kabiruan.
Kaklase.
Kareklamuhan.
Karamay.
Kadamay.
Katulong.
Kasama kumain.
Kasama sa di-pagkain.
Kasabay sa pag-uwi.
Kasama sa pamamasyal.
Kasama sa pagtambay.

Ilan nga ba dito ang kaya ninyong gampanan sa habang buhay kayo?
Ilan nga ba dito ang kaya kong gampanan sa habang buhay ako?

Ngayon-ngayon lang, pinaratangan ninyo akong isang irresponsable at pabayang kaibigan.

Siguro ngayon marami nang opinyon at spekulasyon na umiikot. Marahil dahil sa inis at galit ay nasabi ninyo na porket ngayon na may minamahal na ako ay wala na akong pakialam sa mundo, lalo na sa nararamdaman ng mga kaibigan ko. Na hindi ko na gusto pa ng iba pang kasalamuha, kung hindi siya lamang. Na pinili kong hindi magpaunlak sa isang imbitasyon dahil lagi na lamang siya at siya na lamang ang mundo ko.

Nasaktan ako. Hindi ko akalain na kayo pa, ang mga taong akala kong naiintindihan ako, ay sila pang hindi pala ako nauunawaan. Lalo pa't nadamay pa ang taong walang kamuwang-muwang at walang sala sa mga pangyayaring ito.

Hindi ko nasabihan ng maayos ang mga taong dapat kong sabihan at hingan ng tawad. Marami akong ginagawa at hindi ko sinasadyang makalimutan ang mga bagay na dapat ay inaalala ko. Nag-aalala ako sa aking pag-aaral dahil napaka-bigat ng mga inaasahan sakin ng aking mga magulang. Idagdag mo pa ang pressure na naibibigay ng scholarship ko. Nang mga panahon na hindi ko pinaunlakan ang imbitasyon upang magsaya kasama ng mga kaibigan ko dahil may okasyon ay nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagpasan sa mga kabigatang ito.

Pero, tama. Hindi dahilan ito. Pasensya na.

Pero...

problema ko ito, hindi ba? Hindi ko dapat hinahayaan na makaapekto ito sa mga taong hindi naman problema ang suliranin ko. Hindi ba? SABIHIN NIYONG TAMA AKO.

Oo. Pag-aaral muna bago lovelife.
Oo. Friends muna bago lovelife.

Nasa lupa pa rin naman ako, hindi niyo lang ako nakikita dahil hindi ko kayo nakakasama. Hindi lang naman siya ang mundo ko. Sana huwag kayong manghusga hangga't hindi ninyo nakikita kung ano ba talaga ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko...o kung maari lamang ay huwag kayong magbulag-bulagan. Kayo dapat ang nakakakilala sa akin. Masakit isipin na ang pagkakakilanlan niyo sa akin ay hindi niyo na pinagkakatiwalaan.

Masakit maparatangan ng manhid. Masakit masabihan na nagbago ka na...at ikinasama mo ito.

Di ko lubos maisip na baka naitapon na ninyo lahat ng mga magagandang naipundar ko kasama niyo sa pagkakaibigan nating lahat dahil lamang sa pangyayaring yon.

Alam kong pabalang ang tono nang mga naisulat ko. Sinasadya ko yun. Alam kong dapat ay humihingi pa ako ng tawad sa mga nagawa ko, ngunit hindi ko ginagawa ngayon. Pasensya na. Pero sana naiintindihan niyo. Nasaktan ako sa sinabi ninyo. Hayaan niyo namang umalis sa pagkakakahon ang mga damdaming sinisiil ko ngayon.

Alam kong hindi ko na kayo nakakasama. Patawarin niyo ako kung sasabihin kong hindi niyo kasi ako tinatawag at inaabot. Pupuntahan ko naman kayo kung sakaling gawin niyo yun. Pero, pagkakamali ko rin siguro na inantay ko na kayo ang umabot sa akin, dahil dapat kumilos ako upang kayo ang abutin ko.

Sana naisip niyo rin na ni minsan hindi ko kayo nilimot. Ni minsan hindi nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa inyo.

Nasaktan ninyo ako.
Nasaktan ko kayo.
Patawad.

Paalam?
Ayaw ko.

Pero kung yun ang gugustuhin niyo...wala akong magagawa.

# correspondence ended @ 3:06 PM
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Thursday, May 03, 2007

math long test

....in approximately 2 and a half hours.

Kumusta naman...kinakabahan ako.

Kelangan ko ng kape.

At ng hug.

Err. Hephep.

Scratch the hug. May nakuha at patuloy na nakukuha na ako habang sinusulat ko ito. Ayos. Hehe.

# correspondence ended @ 2:05 PM
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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

dapat nasa bahay na ako...pero...

Andito parin ako sa school.

E kung sa mas mabilis ang internet dito eh. waha.

May Calculus long test ako bukas, at sadly, hindi pa ako tapos mag-aral.
Sana makapag-aral ako ng matino mamaya pag-uwi ko.

Titira ako ng kape mamaya.

# correspondence ended @ 4:01 PM
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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

she cleanses away thy bitterness

After my Death Note addiction comes my Jigoku Shoujo fixation.

Jigoku Shoujo (roughly translated as Hell Girl) is an anime series which is equally dark and psychologically stirring as Death Note. I have always liked books, comics, movies and shows with this theme, so it's no wonder that it really got me smitten.

Its story revolves around the Jigoku Shoujo, Enma Ai, a girl with red eyes who, by request will drag any body's tormentor to hell. Requests are done through an internet website, called Jigoku Tsūshin (roughly translated as Hell Correspondence) which can only be accessed by anyone who harbors a grudge and only at midnight. Helping her investigate and pass judgment are her assistants, Ichimoku Ren, Hone Onna and Wanyuudou.

The series also has its live action adaptation, which is equally as addicting as the anime series. I haven't finished the anime series yet, because I'm busy with school work, but I really hope I can finish it soon. Also, I hope to find a live action series source with English subtitles. All I see in YouTube are Spanish subbed.

For more information on the anime and the live action series of Jigoku Shoujo, click here.

# correspondence ended @ 6:35 PM
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