Would you like to try dying this once?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

political killings

http://www.bulatlat.com/news/6-20/6-20-abuse.htm

^ read and open your eyes.

***
political killings have been rampant nowadays. one after the other, leftist group leaders, members and activists are slaughtered. Some are missing, and most of them are presumed to be dead.
most of the victims are last seen carried off to someplace by big vans. some were gunned down by men in motorcycles. some were tortured first before they were finally killed.

these weren't just random people. they were leftists. leaders. they were activists...people who try to stir the social conscience of the Filipinos all for us to see the naked truth. this begs the question, why?

the answer though, is quite obvious.
it lies in their activities, their ideologies.
they are killed because of what they believe in.
because they wanted change. because they did not believe in the crap that the administration wants us to believe.

the administration has become aware that its reigning time is becoming short-lived.
very soon, it shall be replaced. its ploys to make its reign last longer was pretty much obvious, though the leftists were the ones who provided the public with tangible information, not just circumstantial evidences.

and so they moved against the administration.
and they were slaughtered by it.

the administration even uses the military to carry out its dirty work. in some cases where the leftist members were kidnapped, uniformed men were seen doing the job. they pushed men in vans. and drove off to god-knows-where. after that, the man last seen dragged off in a van was decomposing in a field 5 miles away from the place of kidnapping.

to make things worse, the military has been so desperate to please the administration that it kidnapps and kills innocent farmers and teenagers that look like they are leftists or members of the NPA. the article above describes how some teenagers were made to carry a dead body of a soldier on their carabao by military men, carry the even their packs and a generator up in the mountains.

the token of gratitude they get? they were held in custody for days with farmers and other men as rebels.

the AFP has come out with a slideshow presentation that was used in briefing military men and members of the Oplan Laya [the newly-formed taskforce whose purpose was to stop insurgency among groups] with the identity of insurgent groups and sectoral front organizations.
the slide show was entitled "Knowing the Enemy".

the presentation included left parties and organizations like Gabriela, Bayan Muna, Bagong Alyansang Makabayan, Kilusang Magbubukid ng Pilipinas, Kilusang Mayo Uno and Anak Pawis and other Bayan movements, thus explaining the killings of members and leaders of these organizations which numbered up to 690 as of June 20.

these organizations are not even armed. they do not operate a private army of sorts.

If working for the repeal of the Visiting Forces Agreement and the prioritization of social services over debt payments are crimes against national security, then Bayan Muna is guilty. If pushing for a P125 ($2.35) across-the-board increase in the daily wage of workers and P3,000 ($56.33) monthly for government employees endangers democracy, then AnakPawis is culpable. If proposing legislation to protect consumers against profiteering and women against violence, oppression and exploitation threatens the social order, Gabriela may very well be hauled to court. If protesting against the policies of deregulation, liberalization and privatization which are detrimental to the interests of Filipinos, then Bayan is dangerous. If struggling for a genuine agrarian reform program is a threat to national security, then KMP should be charged in court. If fighting for workers’ rights is a crime against the people, then KMU should be indicted. -BENJIE OLIVEROS, www.bulatlat.com

the saddest part about this situation is the cases filed against these killings were not progressing. no leads. nobody's persecuted. it seems pretty much obvious that the administration was the one who instigated the killings. but it seems pretty much obvious too, that the judiciary system takes no heed of this obvious truth.

so when did exposing lies become a crime?
since when did fighting against a vile administration become a crime punishable by death?

# correspondence ended @ 7:56 AM
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Monday, June 26, 2006

A Stranger's Lullaby

A Stranger's Lullaby
June 26, 2006

close your eyes.
take me with you.

rest those eyes
rest them and let me carry you.
carry me with you.
i won't weigh you down.
just go ahead...
rest them.
rest those eyes.

and drift.
drift away.
drift off to sleep.

your precious sleep.

hear my voice.
just my voice.
and sleep.

sleep today.
sleep tonight.

for tomorrow

you'll not remember.
you'll never know.
nor recognize. nor hear.

you'll not know who I am.

# correspondence ended @ 12:10 AM
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Friday, June 23, 2006

everyday ends with a realization...and for the past few days I've been going to my new school, the Ateneo, I already had some things in mind.

THINGS I LEARNED OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS

1. DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT be late for class on your first meeting with your professor. Your blockmates will laugh at you and your prof will not like it.

2. Remember that there's a HUGE distinction between the letters A and B. Forgo stupidity and read your class schedule well.

3. Remember that the old violent days are gone. the guy friends who used to hit you when you're laughing or having fun are away from you now. miss them, but don't expect the same behavior from your new guy friends.

4. it's fun to have a GAY professor. *ehem*

5. When there's nobody who can relate with your interests in politics, sociology or biological weapons, go to the library and read books about them. Books are indeed good friends who can easily keep up with you.

6. Try not to sleep while in the middle of a good book in a cold, quiet place like the Rizal Library.

7. If you try too hard to look for something [or someone..*ehem*], chances are you'll not find it. Let chance do the finding for you. You'll find the results rather interesting. *wink*

8. Totoo ang mga live footages ng Katipunan na pinapakita sa TV tuwing umaga. Traffic nga dun. Graaaabbbbbeeeeeee.

# correspondence ended @ 12:12 AM
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Thursday, June 15, 2006

walls of ice

I spun my head around.
I've been doing this for quite sometime now..and I didn't really like it.
well...at least I thought I didn't.

I hated searching for somebody...especially if i've been doing this for a long time.
I feel irritated at the thought that he/she makes me find him...and I take it as a cruel joke though I know very well that in some circumstances, it wasn't the person's fault that I'm looking for him/her.

But this time...
I felt different.
No pang of irritation settled. No evil urge to bash something into bits.

Instead, I was excited I was searching.
I didn't care if my head was to be thrown out from its socket because of the excessive swiveling action.

I just wanted to find him.
I really wanted to see him.
Or take a quick glance at him at the very least.

I've been looking around the place for about half a day.
ever since I arrived, I began to look for him. at first I was enthusiastic about the whole thing.
i began to imagine the ecstatic feeling I would get just by finding him.
but the difficulty of the task was beggining to eat up my enthusiasm.
at about after lunch, I began to think of abandoning my search.

Dammit. I cursed under my breath.
There was a sea of people there. It would be quite to meet him because everyone's moving.
You can't see a person there stay in one place.
Just when I was about to give up, I saw his locks---for it was the easiest thing to spot in him---cross my path. He was looking at where he's going, apparently not noticing my presence at all. I felt a violent tug in my stomach. my respiration suddenly became shallow but I hadn't noticed it at all until I saw my chest's abnormal motion.
at seeing him walking towards me, I let the rising feeling of happiness take over my system for 30 seconds, then I immediately sealed it in. What I really wanted to do is to smile until the muscles in my face cramped.
I felt what I did was SOP.
I was happy to see him..but I felt I wasn't allowed to show it.
Because it was for my own good.
It was for my protection.

Gritting my teeth, I looked away and I started to run.
what am I to do? we had someplace to go, and he wasn't with us.
I just had to let him be.
Seal in what I felt, then let him be.
it would be better.

we arrived at our destination quite quickly because we ran. we were instructed to so not to waste any time.
we listened to various speakers and their speeches.
then things suddenly became a bit boring.
I yawned numerous times and it dawned to me that maybe at least fifty people follwed suit.
Then from out of nowhere, he came to my mind.
I saw his face. His locks that compliment his face shape.
His small but sure smile that you might want to see every single day of your life.
His thin, tall frame that seemed strong though he looked frail.

Then I suddenly realized what I was doing.
I was daydreaming.
Freakin daydreaming.

I allowed my brain to comprehend what it was doing.
Then it decided to take action by shutting it down immediately.
When it was gone, I felt an uncomfortable feeling taking over my chest.
It was too uncomfortable that I had to crouch over to hold my stomach in with my hands.
When I breathed out, a wisp of air came out that sounded like a shudder.

I just decided to dismiss the occurences, but I knew that there was something.
Sometime after the lecture, he popped in my mind again.
Then like it used to do, my brain swept it away like a nasty virus.

then came the night that everyone was waiting for.
I too, was excited though I know that my body would be wasted after the activity.

It was then I decided to look for him again. my brain started to bring back pieces of information about my search earlier that day.
it seemed like it was trying to stop me.
But I knew I had to. I knew I wanted it.

My brain just couldn't protest anymore.
For once I just blocked out its warnings.
Everywhere I would go, my head would swivel back and forth.
No pang of irritation.
Just plain old me looking for someone.

again, just like my search earlier, i felt like giving up.
I realized that my brain was right. I should have stopped the silly search and went on with my life.

not did I realized that what I was looking for was right under my nose.
he was directly in front of me.
Instantly, my heart sprang up, but the brain stabs it hard for the heart is not supposed to be let out in this form.
another set of sealed emotions.

when I took him away from my sight, a realization hit hard.

is this really what I want?
am I really this automatic when it comes to sealing what I feel?
why do I keep myself from feeling and be...human?
is feeling this way a virus to be shut down by my brain?

but not long after my self-interrogation, my brain dismissed my thoughts and returned to it usual job of sealing things in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
as i finish this entry, I felt the urge to delete it.
to press backspace until a white background remains.

but I realized that I must recognize this time that I allowed my heart drown out the cries of protest coming from my brain.
and this entry is its proof.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*ehem*

# correspondence ended @ 10:29 PM
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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

the people in my tagboard are screaming for an update.
and due to insistent public demand [or at least due to the requests of the fellows tagging at my tagboard], here it is.

the last time i posted was april 12.
and it is june 6 today.
looking at the dates, oh, god, i feel so useless and lazy for not maintaing my net portal of thoughts.

it's because much of my summer has been devoted to teaching...i've been teaching my brother and my cousin who's both preparing for their the Science HS entrance exam and the UPCAT respectively. i've been busy tutoring them and gearing them for the exams.
...*ehem*
or maybe that's an excuse.

the real reason[maybe]: my sister dominates the pc everytime. she wakes up at 8 just to be the first one to kiss the computer monitor. her butt cheeks are perpetually glued to this seat for 10 hours, only pausing the perpetuity just to eat, drink and answer the call of nature. what's left of me and my little brother are meager 2 hours of netlife when she nods off to sleep on the sofa.

being a/an [loving] elder sister, i just let my brother use up the two hours that's given to us. my shift? 1-3 am. fortunately, my little sister's a sleepyhead. she can't stay up later than 11. but but unfortunately, my mom hates my late-night habit. she says that i can't stay up that late because of my anemia. she's right...sleeping too late lowers my red blood cell count. she once caught me getting up at 1 am just to use the internet. the result: she banned me from using the computer. fortunately, she lifted the ban. if she didn't i'll be scarred for life.

Rap once said to me that drug addicts will do anything--even twist realities just to get their fix of their precious drug of choice. my sister proved this for me...but she's not a drug junkie. she's a ragna junkie. when we use the computer, she says that we are unfair because we've been rubbing elbows with the computer for too long.

too long?!
dammit, are two freakin' hours too long?
i look at this ragna junkie/megalomaniac, and step aside. i don't want fights. she won't be able to handle me when i'm angry.

there are times that we use the computer for 5 hours [heaven!] because she runs out of ragna load. these are one of the moments we sing loud praises to the Lord God up above because we get to use the computer.
and you guessed it right. this time is indeed one of those "times".

i hope and pray that these "times" come more often.
meanwhile...
maybe i'll think of another strategy to keep the megalomaniac in my sister in check.

*remember this blog entry...it is the first one i made as a college student. ciao*

# correspondence ended @ 10:48 PM
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