It all started with a joke. But it quickly escalated to serious bickerings for trust and belief.

Sana paniwalaan mo ako.
Hindi ganoon kadali maniwala ulit.

I became angry and irritated for what seemed like 25 seconds, then I realized that I had been overreacting. Again, I had let my past ramble with the fibers of my present.

I said things that weren't called for in order to protect this wall around me. It seems ironic, the whole thing---the wall's supposed to protect me, isn't it? But why do I always end up protecting it from everybody else? Am I this terrified? Have I really become this pathetic?

Akala ko iba ka sa kanila. Akala ko nakahanap na ako ng taong maniniwala sa akin.
Sana intindihin mo ako...may mga nagtutulak sakin na mging ganito.

I fought with someone today.
I hurt someone because I wanted to protect myself. How selfish.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being who I am.
I'm sorry for clinging to what I should have shunned a long time ago.
I'm sorry. I really am.

Ru, hindi ako bato para hindi maniwala ulit.