even without a coat...he looked so handsome. he looked sharp. he seemed deserving of that prom prince title.
he was so quiet...I didn't see him talk so loud in normal conversations with others like in school. if he did, it was with his friends who'd like to see him take on a wresting match with a long-sleeved polo on...but...there was something different about him that night.
as I was dancing with other guys, I usually saw him (even without my glasses on) walking around...talking to raphael. i felt something strange.
he's going for quinnia...and he's nervous. good luck sayo.but things weren't what I expected.
that night...that noisy, sweaty (especially during his games with his friends), normally insensitive and outgoing guy asked to dance with me. but I saw something different in his eyes. for the first time...i saw that he was nervous...he was shy. he was laughing, but his laugh wasn't of joy..he was trying to hide something.
i really don't understand it...but i felt very weak. i tried to be strong that time...but I really felt that I was about to cry any minute. my knees were shaking. it was only the fast song that came in after he took my hand for a dance and his nervous laughter relieved me. when we talked..it felt like the very first time i heard his voice and his laughter. i really missed his voice...it calmed me.
i was very happy..and at the same time, worried and sad. i really felt that moment was the last time i'm going to have a conversation with him. a conversation that lasted for 12 minutes...a conversation where we met eye to eye and talked like we used to back then.
the fast songs ended, the slow song started to play.
"O, ayan, mabagal na. pwede na ba?"
he faced me, took my hand, but his hand on my waist. my hand went to his shoulders. his hand felt warm on my hand...and really felt that tears were coming any minute.
why am I about to cry? did i wish of hope for you this much?but i stopped wishing for you. i stopped hoping. i just waited till i landed and fell hard...without anyone catching or helping me stand up. i lived...survived each day without crying hard for you. was i to break down now in front of you?the song nears its end. fear rose to my eyes...and i felt that you have seen it. as the final chord struck, you let me go. i took a step backward and looked through your eyes.
goodbye...goodbye.as tears were to fall from my eyes, i did what my heart was dictating me to do. i took that step forward and leaned close to your ear.
"I love you...I love you."
i took a step back, turned my back from him and walked away. i didn't want to see his reaction. his face. his eyes.
you may think that I'm just a girl imagining things...or I'm just telling a one-sided story about the things that happened that night.
but i'm not. i saw what i saw in his eyes...
and i fear he saw things in my eyes too.
i did what my heart was telling me to do.
it reminds me of the quote i saw written on darwin 3's chalkboard. it says:
Follow your heart...it knows what it's doing.
my heart knows what i feel...what it's doing. it knows what will set me free.
i will love you...till they take my heart away.
# correspondence ended @
11:16 PM
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i know this is too late but..
yep..
this post is too late because this is about the prom.
i know, i know...but can you blame me? my modem broke down and i can't surf the net for 5 days!
anyway...
the prom was fantastic...it was not what I expected at all.
the atmosphere was great in Gazebo Royale. I really loved the big stars and the christmas lights that hung from the ceiling...it gave a really nice effect on the place (especially to me...i really love stars!). The hall was quite roomy..and it was enough to accomodate the junior and the senior population. everyone was at their best...and everyone changed their appearance. it wasn't your typical gathering.
actually, I'm laughing now because i just thought of the gown I wore. my sister told me that i look like a dancer in it..and all i needed was a bard (to a ragnarok addict, this statement would not be a mystery.) to complete my look. my dad laughed at me because i was wobbling on my high heels. plus the make up that made me look like a japanese kabuki mask and a geisha according to my younger brother. great family support.
anyway...the top of my gown was green..and the skirt was maroon..but turned green when I moved. They called it "two-toned" fabric. Mr. Lorenzo even said that my gown was scandalous (why? hehehe..secret...) but nice...and i took that as a complement. thanks, sir! :)
the dinner was great...the food was good..unfortunately..my stomach wasn't that conditioned that night to take in food to its content. I don't know...i just didn't eat much even though the food was good. what i didn't like was the sauce for the fish fillet. i think that was lemon butter sauce...but it didn't taste like it. I think they exaggerated the lemon part ...you get the idea. even though mrs. arrieta told us to finish everything we got on our plates...I disobeyed her. I'd rather not finish the food than throw up while I danced.
the dance?..
it was the most anticipated part of the prom...
and to be quite honest..I was really excited about it...though I was a bit nervous. It was the first time ever in my life that i will dance in a gathering...because in other gatherings I attended, I ate while everybody else was dancing (glutton! hehehe...). some of my former classmates danced with me and some curie 3 people too..and some others. some people who promised to dance with me didn't....some didn't find me because the crowd was too thick..and some...well...i think thay forgot that they promised in the first place. anyway..no harm done! :P
the prom was supposed to end at 12 in the morning, but they extended it to 1 am. but unfortunately, some parents disagreed, so they stuck to the original plan. After some pictures were taken with me and my former class (curie 2), we got our souvenirs (pink pillows for girls and blue pillows for boys which says "QCSHS JS promenade 2005") and headed towards the exit. my dad and uncle picked grace, erica, bricci and kuya patrick up and brought us home about 12:30 in the morning. erica, grace, bricci and I were screaming and complaining of feet pains because of our heels...and my dad actually predicted this. well..it was my first time wearing high and thin heels for almost 7 hours...can you blame me?
I was really tired when I got home. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and immediately went upstairs to my bedroom. after i changed my clothes, I crashed into my bed. my eyes and my feet were screaming for rest....and I gave in.
the next morning...when I opened my eyes..i thought everything was just a dream. but my prom dress draped on the dresser told me otherwise. weird huh? really...
honestly..
i really thought the whole prom was just a dream.
# correspondence ended @
10:43 PM
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camille fajardo domingo. miles. kim. kaiserin. dyosa. chibi. baby. 18 years old. January 25,1989. Aquarian. Ateneo de Manila University, BS Biology. atenean scholar. Biologist in the making. sophomore. Block L2. [English] Block R36. GABAYano. Matanglawin--lapatan-eer. Quezon City Science High School, Batch 2006. Avo-I, Curie-II, Curie-III, Avo-IV. School of the Holy Spirit, Batch 2002. debater. vice president--Quesci debate society. MCDO(Mga Cute Debating Originals) member. book lover. orange. black. red.
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