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Monday, February 11, 2008

deep sense


How do you know if what you're feeling is really fear and despair, not just something brought about by external pressures and forces that make you take these feelings as your own?

Is your fear and despair really yours? What if they are just induced by what's around you, not produced by you?

How do you know if what you feel is really deep fear and despair? Is it how you feel when you see a big spider jump to your hand? Is it the sensation as it slowly makes its way to your arm, your shoulders, your face? Is it how you feel when you dread an upcoming long test, or when you see a dark figure via your peripheral vision?

What should we fear? Where and in what should we direct feelings of despair?

Maybe you should be scared if you feel that you no longer fear losing certain useless companions and friends that weigh you down because you have all you need already. Perhaps you should be scared for not fearing what's to be feared---the higher-ups, institutions---the things that you once revered that you now call shit. Maybe you should feel despair for resigning to the fact that you will go to hell, and you will not go spend time to do something about it. Maybe, just maybe.

We should all fear the lack of fear and feel despair for the absence of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tried a technique Sir Marx called free writing/typing. I closed all of my mind's automatic censors for this post. No pressing the backspace key to rephrase or renew ideas, except for spelling corrections and typos. Sorry to those who didn't like this post.

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Untie the red string.

camille fajardo domingo. miles. kim. kaiserin. dyosa. chibi. baby. 18 years old. January 25,1989. Aquarian. Ateneo de Manila University, BS Biology. atenean scholar. Biologist in the making. sophomore. Block L2. [English] Block R36. GABAYano. Matanglawin--lapatan-eer. Quezon City Science High School, Batch 2006. Avo-I, Curie-II, Curie-III, Avo-IV. School of the Holy Spirit, Batch 2002. debater. vice president--Quesci debate society. MCDO(Mga Cute Debating Originals) member. book lover. orange. black. red. stars. caffeine addict in rehabilitation. Lacto-ovo pescestarian by choice. net-aholic. serial procrastinator. workaholic [na tamad. how ironic, isn't it?].

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email: miles.domingo@gmail.com
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