there's always that.

No, I am not throwing you out, blog

2008-09-28T20:36:00.003+08:00

I am just extending my life.

I won't be posting new stuff here in www.theoverriddenqueen.blogspot.com anymore...but I'll still be keeping it. It's hard to let go and not update my 4-year old baby, but changes are in order.

My new home in the blogging sphere is now www.milesdomingo.wordpress.com.

Thank you guys for all your support and comments for this blog. I really hope you'll visit, read and support my new blog just like how you did here.

Things I Want to Say to Random People Part 1

2008-09-10T23:48:00.006+08:00

I know how you treat other people, and I'm beginning to think that you might be treating me the same way. It just scares me because I consider you one of my closest friends. I wish there was a way for me to know if I'm really one of your friends. It will definitely hurt me if I learn that I'm like those you consider idiots.
Don't you dare hurt her. Don't you dare use her to escape from the emotional quicksand you are in. Do this and I WILL KILL YOU.
You told me a very important secret about you, and I vow to take it with me to the grave because I did the same thing.
Once you create insults that attack intelligence and academics to berate other people, it tells more about how intellectually and emotionally deficient you are. Your QPI does not and will never reach over and transcend what's needed to live a true human life.
If you are wondering, yes, I am defending you. You're still one of my acquaintances after all.
Thanks for the compliments you drop. You don't know how much an ex-bulimic like me appreciates comments like that, especially those that come from people outside of my very immediate social circle (family, boyfriend etc). They help me recover. Thank you so much!
I'm happy for you, I sincerely am. But I can't read the entry you made that chronicled your experience. I hurt me a lot because I kept on thinking "That could have been me...why not me?"
Kudos to changing from that hideous creature into this guy that we all love and like! =)
NO. I don't like you in that sense.
Sometimes, girls feign ignorance just to plump your ego up. So don't feel all powerful because she's the one who's got you twirled around your finger.

ADM 102: Introduction to Ateneo-La Salle Games

2008-09-04T21:15:00.004+08:00

This is from my multiply, taken from Joash.

Epic and funny!

SEPTEMBER 6 IS THE EAGLES' DAY! ONE BIG FIGHT! =)

~~~~~~~~~

ADM 102: Introduction to Ateneo-La Salle Games
Thu/Sat/Sunday, 4:00 PM, Araneta Coliseum

Course Description
The course introduces the student-cheerer to the dynamics and principles of the Ateneo-La Salle rivalry. The course employs both theoretical and application dimensions. The theoretical phase exposes the student to the history of the rivalry, the tradition of cheering, the construction of the ideal Atenean 6th Man, and other theoretical concepts.

The application phase on the other hand requires the student to put into practice all the theoretical principles. These practices include, among others: effective skills in lining up for the games, cheering (pre-game, during the game, half-time and post-game), jeering, heckling, creating effective posters and banners for one's favorite players and posing and smiling for Fabilioh.com.

Course Objectives
By the end of the course, the student should have been able to:

understand what it means to be the Sixth Man
understand the difference between an Atenean and La Sallite
integrated himself with the community of believers
develop his school spirit

Course Outline and Reading List

Chapter 1: What is School Spirit?

Required Readings:

Excerpts from the "History of the Ateneo"
The student's "OrSem Manual"
"The Ateneo Cheerbook"
"Who and What is the Ateneo Sixth Man?"
Ruel De Vera's "The Eagles Have Landed"
Selected Speeches of Angelico Sinjian (Ateneo Blue Babble Battalion)

Chapter 2: Knowing the Enemy

Required Readings:
- SUSPENDED! The 2005 UAAP Scandal
- "We Must Come From/Hit Them From Behind"
- "What is Sports Science and Translation Management?"
- "How To Spell Correctly During Cheerdance Competition"
Optional/Supplementary Readings
- "No Cheering During Time Out"
- "Get that Ball! -- UE"
- "Why are there Two Birds in UAAP?"
- "Who let the (Bull)Dogs out?"
- "You Cannot Overcheer Us!"
- "NABRO: Equality or Social Injustice?"

Chapter 3: Pre-Game Rituals

Required Readings
- "The Art of Lining Up"
- "Sketching Great and Creative Posters and Banners for Your Favorite Players"
- "Scalpers and Where To Find Them"
- "Reserving Seats for Friends in Upper A and Upper B"
Optional Readings
- "How to Jump From the Gen Ad to Upper B: A Step-By-Step Guide"
- "How to Jump From Upper B to Upper A: A Step-By-Step guide"

Chapter 5: Game Time

Required Readings:
- "Developing Your Endurance"
- "The Psychology Behind Get That Ball"
- "Who are the Gang Green?"
- "Half-time is Game-Time"
- "Fly High" + "The Victory Song"

Chapter 6-A: When the Final Buzzer Beats (In case of Victory)

Required Readings

"The Song for Mary and the Proper Way to Sing It"
"How to sing The Song For Mary and Still Look Cute for Fabilioh.com"
"How To Argue with Sore Losers in PinoyExchange.com and Gameface.ph"

Chapter 6-B: When the Final Buzzer Beats (In case of Defeat)

Required Readings:
- "Win or Lose, It's The School We Choose: Deepening Your Spirituality -- The Sesquicentennial Edition"
- "Contemplating on the Meaning of Life: An Introduction"
- "Surviving the Wrath of Fr. Adolfo Dacanay SJ"

Course Requirements

Written Long Test will assess your memorization of the tradition and history of the Ateneo-La Salle rivalry. The test items consist of Multiple Choice questions and an evaluation of True or False statements.

Oral Exam. The student will randomly draw two cheers from a lot. The student must cheer/sing the cheers he picked. Afterwards, he must be able to explain the significance of the cheer/song. He must also be able to identify when these cheers/songs are used.

Practical Exam: The student must line up for tickets. This is a pass or fail exam. If the student is able to acquire a ticket, he automatically gets an A. If he doesn't get any ticket, he must take the Make-Up Test.

Make-up Test: Negotiating with Scalpers. Students who wish to pass the first practical exam for the course but failed to do so must take the Make-Up test. The student must locate a scalper within the vicinity of Araneta Coliseum. This is not a pass or fail test. The student's grade depends on how he was able to acquire a good ticket with the lowest possible price. The better the ticket with lower ticket price, the higher the grade.

Final Exam: Students are required to cheer during the game. The grade depends on the voice quality and frequency of the cheering. The Ateneo standard grading system will be applied. Therefore the passing score for the Final Exam is 70%. Students who cannot stand up and cheer 70% of the time automatically fail the exam.

Bonus points are given to students who are able to convince others to cheer loudly, either through a well-articulated speech or forceful coercion. Extra points are also awarded to fans who make creative banners for their favorite players.

Written Long Test: 20%
Oral Exam: 20%
Practical Exam: 20%
Final Exam: 40%

Course Policies and Other Reminders

1. Plagiarism. Plagiarism is an extreme offense. Do not copy cheers from other schools.
2. Cellphone Use. Using your cellphone to place in bets is illegal. Do not get yourself into trouble.
3. Cuts. Once you are inside Araneta, you are not allowed to leave. You must watch all four quarters. Win or lose, you are not allowed to leave before the Song for Mary is sung.

yesterday was only 2 hours ago

2008-08-21T01:05:00.003+08:00

1. The rains were so heavy that my dad decided to drive us to school than to have 3/5 of his family commute and drown in the rat urine laden flood waters of the metro. We had to leave early, since my sister's class starts at 8.30. Mine didn't start until 10.30 but I had no choice. For the love of god, I was already in school at 8.30 in the morning, and classes weren't suspended by the NDCC until 11.00 am. OH YEAH.

2. We met with our new Biosystematics profs that will take over in Dr. Lagunzad's absence. Sir Ron for lab and Dr. Sagun for lec.

3. CARA'S EPIC CAKE EXPERIENCE X_X

4. The rains got stronger and the winds blew harder, but I still had to commute home. I was half-cursing because my feet went through unavoidable puddles and pools of flowing water and half-minding my umbrella so that it would not flip and invert because of the winds. I was also half-crying and half-laughing due to the fact that I knew that I may have contacted half a hundred different parasites or bacteria from the feet-water contact I had. At one time I was telling myself that I really wanted to go home, and I didn't give a cow's shit to what may have entered my body through the skin on my soles, but by the next minute, I had this urge to cry and disinfect myself immediately with Lysol or something. I also felt like an idiot when the strong winds slammed into my 100 pound body and made it feel like an air balloon. I was literally being blown back by the wind that I can't hardly walk a straight line. PLEASE LANG, REGALUHAN NIYO NA AKO NG KOTSE :|

5. It was our 1.5th anniversary yesterday, and we didn't get a chance to talk that much. I had classes from 10.30-12.30 (the suspension started 12.30 x_x). When my classes ended, I decided to go home early because I feared that the weather might worsen and I'd be stranded somewhere. Jericho, on the other hand decided to stay in school to study for his orals today. Well, I think we're going to have time to celebrate on Friday, hopefully. =)

6. Father Dacanay gave back our topic proposal and he said that we need at least 10-12 sources for our topic. :| If you know any reputable source that tackles celebrity marriages (characteristics, complications, context etc), please let me know. =)

7. I texted my mom about the suspension of classes and told her that I was going straight home. While on the jeep, the rains started to stop, and so I asked my mom if she wanted to go to the mall. She told me that she would want to since the government also instructed government employees to go home because of the bad weather. And so my mom bought me two new pairs of sandals and a new bag...HURRAH =)

everybody's changing

2008-08-03T14:25:00.002+08:00

FIRST: I really did take it to my heart when you said that my school has caused my tastes to change. Sure, I have changed some aspects of my taste, but hear this: what I like or don't like is a product of my own scrutiny. For the record, being an Atenean didn't have anything to do with it.

SECOND: I am not an elitist. It's not like I chose not to know any of the new local shows or celebrities just because of pure spite. I don't know them simply because I do not get to watch that much TV nowadays because I'm really busy. There are local celebs that I like and some that I abhor because of sucky performances and I'm sure you have a similar list, right?

THIRD: I have my own tastes, and so do you. Besides, it's not like I loved all these things to my core before I was an Atenean---I'm not much into TV and movies ever since.

FOURTH: I can't pretend I like something just to conform. What is it to you if I didn't like something? I have my opinions and so do you. It's not like I accused you of anything for liking something, then why single me out for not liking it? Isn't that unfair?

You meant it as a joke, yes, but I was offended.
Pasensya na. Mababaw na kung mababaw. Hindi lang kasi tama.
~~~~~~~
Sorry. I can't study for theo orals unless I write something.

nice to know you, goodbye

2008-07-31T11:55:00.001+08:00

10 Things You Can/Do Actually Say to Yourself Either Consciously or Unconsciously During and After Anything

1. The base I'm supposed to act on came in very late, and so I created my own base. But before I knew it, the base was created already, only I wasn't informed.

2. Connected with 2: Informing is to trust. Simply put, trust is to tell me what's going on.

3. I won't blame anyone except myself. I could have done more, I could have done better.

4. On the contrary, I could have done better if I was permitted to. DAMN IT.

5. I am aware I have many lapses, but I am also aware that at I delivered and I did what I can do at the very least.

6. I have learned a very valuable lesson. I know you have too, but know that I'm not normally like this and it's true. I'm not making up excuses.

7. I know you know that living things react to their environment and atmosphere. That's exactly what I did. Now looking back, I wished that I was booted out early on because of that environment. It's not worth it to survive in that kind of atmosphere anyway. To extend the metaphor, I could have been born in another environment.

8. Nakakawala kasi ng gana, OKAY. It's not just me.

9. Again, no hard feelings.

10. Oh well. Shit happens. I'M JUST SO GLAD IT'S OVER.

For my family

2008-07-20T07:21:00.005+08:00

TO MARECA

Service from people like me does not consist of just listening to man's ailments and writing down prescriptions for them.
I want to make the things that they prescribe.

I just don't want to diagnose, I want to discover the deeper molecular or chemical causes of that diagnosis.

THERE IS NO VOCATION THAT IS LESSER THAN THE OTHER VOCATIONS AVAILABLE IN TERMS OF SERVING OTHERS. It is the intensity and dedication that we have towards that vocation that matters.

So don't make that "you are an idiot" face when I'm talking about taking the road less traveled.

Besides, I was not talking to you then, I was talking to my dad(I am really tempted to add a profane word to emphasize my spite but never mind).

TO MAMA AND PAPA

I have not just made this decision in a drop of a hat. I have thought of this for a long time now, and I have made sure not to overlook things.

I have consulted with all sorts of people, read a lot of material, and contemplated a lot about them. I realized that this is what I want for myself. Something that I actually want, not just some decision I arrived at because of motives other than what I see myself doing in the future.

I understand your disappointment, but please trust my decision.

I really, really, really try my very best to bring you all you want and more...just give me your trust in this.

TO AMIEL

Are you going down the path I used to take?

If you are, then that's good. Your patients can be a good source of free tissue samples (HAHA >:)).

Think it through, and good luck.

~~~~~~~~~

I love you all for all that you are---your bitchiness, support, doubt and love.

no harm meant, I'm just puzzled.

2008-07-06T22:36:00.007+08:00

I chose to write this in my more private blog (if this blog is indeed private) because not many people actually know about this blog, save for my boyfriend, very inner circle of friends and some random people I do not really know who chance upon my blog via Google search(it's not like they can affect my life directly anyway). This thing really puzzles me, and a little venting might lead me to set facts straight and touch the issue with more critical introspective action.

This person I am concerned with has been really close to me for sometime now, and she does know a lot of things about me. She is one of my closest college buddies, and she was there to witness the highlights of my college life. She knows my parents, and my parents also know her. We also joined the same organization in school, and we even went home together. She knew about the things that transpired when my boyfriend and I were just hooking up and also during our share of tough times and happy times. She knew of my innermost secrets, and some of which I did not even dare talk about with anybody else before., i.e, she knew of my "illegal" relationship with my boyfriend back then, she was the first person closest to me that I smoked in front of, and she knew of my bulimia. As everybody now knows, my relationship with Jericho is now accepted by my parents, I already stopped smoking for a year now, and I have stopped poking my throat with a toothbrush.

Bulimia has been one of the stumbling blocks that I deal with every single day of my life. I must say that its impact on my life has been significantly reduced because of the support of people who believe that this is a real thing that I am experiencing, and I am not some random crazy ass attention-hungry girl. But admittedly, and obviously enough, this fight was never easy for me. I still encounter occasional bouts of pleasure derived from the pain caused by a rumbling stomach and the desire for otherwise tasteless food. I am starting to erase the thoughts of me being fat though there are times when I secretly still want to nag myself in my head about how huge I am. Sometimes, I still look away, want to cry and not eat anymore whenever some thin girl passes by. I torture Jericho with questions and sentences whose essence is the same: "I'm fat, no? Please tell me I am so that I can do something." It's very difficult to change a negative mindset, much so if it has been functional for the person who bears it. It's painful, not just for me, but also for the people who care about me, and we have to endure this pain every single day. The last thing I need are people bombarding me with statements and actions that make me want to regress and screw all the efforts that I have done just to win over this disorder.

Let's go back to this friend I have. I have observed that every time we had a chance to bond, a chance to talk and get back together (our busy schedules did not allow us much time to hang around with each other anymore unlike when we were freshmen), she would blatantly say to my face how fat I was getting, and how thin she was. Her statements would go in the lines of:

"Miles, ang taba mo na!"
"Mas mataba ka kesa sa kapatid mo diba? Kasing payat ko yun eh."
"Mas mataba ka kesa sakin. Ang payat payat ko eh."
"Miles, look"*while doing gestures of presenting her body to me*

Fine, I get the "fat" part, because relative to my old bulimia-stricken body, I really gained flesh...but the "how thin she was and how I'm not as thin as her" part I don't get. It's true, she really is thinner than me, but why will someone, who knows that her friend has a history of bulimia and is actually still in the process of healing herself would actually say these statements in her face? It was very difficult to dodge her first "look at me, I'm thinner than you" statement. It was like a heavy, blunt object slammed into my skull. I was half-way between telling myself that I would jam my toothbrush into my throat deeper this time and saying that it's okay, you're not fat; you're healthy and that's all that matters. I was caught between wanting to cry and smiling; taking her comment down to very pits of my heart and dodging it away. In the end, I chose not to succumb...at least not in front of her.

I bore her words until I got home. When I got to my room, I cried. I was puzzled and angry, but and at the same time, I tried to understand her. Maybe she thought that this whole thing was totally gone, and she could lambast me as a joke, just like she did before. Or her ignorance of my situation led to this behavior; she did not mean to make me feel this way. But some voice in my head says otherwise. It said that it seemed that either she didn't care, or she just wanted to screw me over. As evil as this may sound, but I am having doubts if she really is a friend for these reasons.

Whatever her reason/s are, I was hurt. She nearly blew down the defenses and rehabilitation work done in and around me. Thankfully, one of the skills I am training to perfect in Jericho-rehab now (haha) is to stop, think and then raise the finger(not in the literal sense. He's totally not a cursing coach, okay. ahaha).

But still...this whole thing---her attitude, her statements--- just stumps me.

I may be out of its walls now, but silence is really not my response of choice

2008-06-23T23:06:00.000+08:00

I have heard a lot of things, read a lot of entries and rant posts, among others, about the supposedly internal decay of my Alma Mater, Quezon City Science High School. What I have heard is alarming, and I can't help but think that one of the nation's foremost science high schools is reduced into a puddle of slick melted beyond recognition.

I have been, for the longest time, suppressing the urge to write my own feelings and insights about the matter. I don't want to create a blog entry that's based on hearsay and other external information. I want to go back to Quesci and talk to my teachers about my high school's situation...and only then will I be able to produce a full-fledged blog entry.

What's the point of this entry then?

It's just a statement: this alumna won't take any shit from you aliens seeking to destroy the Scientian legacy. F you.

an entry on my second mug of green tea

2008-05-15T02:14:00.001+08:00

1. I was on my way to school this morning when Aly and Cara texted me that our trip for Ecology to a marine sanctuary in Bauan, Batangas was canceled due to bad weather and sea conditions. What. The. Fuck. I was really excited about going to the beach today to snorkel and seeing protected and pristine corals again after 8 years (last time was when we went to Davao). To think that it was supposed to be a highlight of my summer (or probably of my years as a Bio major). Though we have to do lab work there, it would definitely pass for a summer trip to the beach. To make it worse, my schedule and activities for the next 2 weeks revolved around this trip, and it crippled me bad since it was canceled. All my plans down the drain. UNREQUITED BEACH LOVE! :( Sad. Now I have to do some damage control and re-fix my schedule.

2. In Matteo: finishing Eco lab report.
Miles: Alyza, I saw this thing in one of your mails to us...errr..'flying fuck'? What's a flying fuck exactly?
Aly: Basically...it's a...fuck that flies.
Miles: Oh.
Aly: Yeah.
Miles: x_x *headbangdesk*
Aly: *Photoshops pics some more*

3. I was probably on Eco trip-driven sadness the whole day. This has got to be the unhealthiest day of my my whole life. I actually finished a greasy sisig meal from the SOM mall (one cup rice and all. @_@) and I single-handedly devoured a big Crunch bar that Liane gave me towards the end of the day. I was literally shaking the whole time after I finished the goddamn chocolate bar.

4. Since there's a tropical depression building up in the south, we can't go anywhere near the sea. It might swallow us and add us to its biomass collection. Soooo...we're going to Subic this Saturday as a replacement for our cancelled trip. We're going to the forest to survey it for floral and faunal diversity, especially birds and monkeys. My fish and corals turned into birds, so to speak. On the positive side, we can take use our soaps and shampoos when we take a bath all we want (We can't use soapy products in Bauan...it'll damage marine life) and we have our own rooms there. But honestly, I really will enjoy the beach more. :(

5. If there's any consolation to the sadness our group felt today, we got a really nice score in our reporting for Eco Lab today. We made history, baby! The Google and library-rape that our group did for this report really paid off. At least this made me realize how bad the condition of my body is today because of the mindless eating of unhealthy stuff. I got my mind back enough to make myself drink lots of water and green tea just to cleanse the shit I dumped in my system today.

6. Economics reporting moved to 20-21. x_x Looks like I have to bring Economics stuff in Subic. I hope I can borrow somebody's laptop for this one.

7. WHY THE HELL IS YAHOO MAIL NOT LOADING NOW? x_x Part of schedule damage control is mailing everyone in my economics group for the new schedules. Yahoo picked one hell of a good time to spite people. I have to scratch patience from the sides of my empty bottle.

8. It's two in the morning. I should be sleeping, but I just woke up an hour ago. Talk about fucked up circadian rhythms.

I wonder if you're aware how fucked up things are in my head because of lack of sleep caused by your work ethics

2008-05-06T01:58:00.002+08:00

All the people that I've worked with in group activities in the past know that it takes only one thing to make me load a rifle with bullets with matching salt pellets to fire through your abdomen to create a gaping, burning hole. In group activities, I just can't tolerate if one person's irresponsibility and neglect cause inconveniences and damages to the people in the group who actually work and do their part.

LISTEN. If you say that you weren't able to do the parts assigned/you volunteered to do because you had other responsibilities which you obviously deemed more important is a knife from my kitchen rack that you drove into your own diaphragm. I won't question your value judgement; I respect that, but I have news for you. We all have our responsibilities that we have to do, it's not just you. Get your priorities straight, damn it. You compromised your groupmates' time, efforts and physiological needs. How could you sleep well in your fucking dorm room? Why do we have to take a lash from you? I understand the constraints and hardships that we students experience every single day. Like I said, we experience them too. But I really wish you had the initiative and a consciousness of the rights of your groupmates. We aren't here to sop the mess you made just because you carried your glass upside down.

And oh, things will not be mended by just saying "Kayo na ang bahala ha, peace". You know what, the thing that you placed on the other person's shoulder was your responsibility. We're not nets under your high-wire act.

Frankly, you guys are morons who don't give a fuck that other people clean up your crap for you. MAHIYA KAYO.

For this, we should place you in cans and throw you into the fire. Or maybe pry your eyes open with toothpicks for six straight months (Any suggestions, Alyza?).

But hey. We're still sane and diplomatic, we're going to resolve this the nice way still...damn it.

On Dream Boys, Polygamy, May-December Affair Syndrome and Everything in Else in Between

2008-04-26T11:12:00.002+08:00

I'm taking up ecology this summer as one of my majors. I've always liked this branch of Biology because its applications only require the use of common sense, and much of the principles that it tackles are very much observed in the real world. If you're looking for examples and applications for ecological principles, you need not look farther than your own backyard, so to speak. Ecology can actually explain the existence of certain human behaviors, customs and norms based on their biological significance. What's more interesting is ecology can actually turn the tables around with regards to what we consider evil and immoral using our very nature as surviving species as explanation.

Take human relationships, for example.

The principles that govern our need for loving relationships outside of family are very complex. Today, we see bachelorettes constantly searching for Mr. Right. They even list many characteristics that they deem to be 'perfect', i.e. tall, dark and handsome. Except in communities that allow it, it's against the law to have multiple wives. Churches and many a society encourage monogamy and condemn polygamy. Women, whose husbands are unfaithful----men with affairs, or worse, another family--- are considered the "victims", for the blow of their spouse's action land on them the hardest. Also, most adulterers are male, few are female. Moreover, it's observed that the women who actually are the third wheels to these adulterous unions are younger than the original wife. But what's actually surprising is that ecologically, all of these complexities have simple roots to the need to prove survival by reproduction. Another interesting thing to note with regards to polygamy and young girls going for older men is that no matter how feminist groups condemn and oppose them, we, the female species have actually condoned polygamy and the May-December affair syndrome because of the need to reproduce and propagate, the ultimate proof of species survivorship.

For humans, it's not new to see single women attracted to men older than they are, or married men with 5 kids. This "wrong" desire for a family man actually is rooted to a genetic and consequently, an ecological cause. Survivorship, or the ability of an organism to withstand stresses in the environment is ultimately measured by the capability of the organism to reproduce despite all of these environmental pressures and constant fluctuation. A female has a limited reproductive potential (with regards to time) as compared to a male. A female releases an egg only once in a month, thus, it only has this one chance for it to bear offspring as compared to males who produce millions and millions of sperm everyday, which gives them virtually an unlimited reproductive potential. Furthermore, females undergo a menopausal stage, in which their limited "reservoir" of gametes are nearly used up. Only roughly half a thousand of eggs are to be released in her entire lifetime. Therefore, "A male that mates with a weak or otherwise unfit female loses only a small part of his reproductive potential; a female making a similar mistake may sacrifice all of hers." (Lagunzad, 2008)

How does this relate to a bachelorette's checklist, liking older men and polygamy, then? Utimately, these things and the choices that come with them roots from the genetic and ecological need of females to make a choice between making sure that this one chance of giving birth to offspring is a "sure fire shot" or a missed opportunity. "Perfection" and "dream guy" characteristics are most likely the characteristics that we see that would contribute to the likelihood that our children would have a strong genetic background, and so we want those characteristics to be mixed with, or more fittingly impregnated into our gene pool. Old age is often tagged with strength, maturity and potency because obviously, age allows for experience and it's an evidence of your resistance to the destructive potentials of environmental fluctuation. More so if the male has offspring, because as said, reproductive capabilities are the ultimate proof of survivorship; having offspring ultimately makes a statement on your gene's "incorruptibility" with regards to constant action of natural selection on the environment.

What about emotions? This explanation clearly takes the contribution of emotions and logic of choices that we make when it comes to walking down the aisle, marrying a DOM or having an underground affair with a married man. Research shows that bachelorette checklists do not get completely filled out with little checkmarks after all---most women marry men that miss out on the characteristics that they ascribed to their perfect mate. It's a reality that women actually marry DOM's or have affairs with married men because of pure logic and practicality---the money factor. While the genetic and ecological explanation is sound, we can't simply reduce human complexity to the dictation of our genes. Our genes are not our guide dogs for the simple reason that we are not blind to need a guide dog at all.

While our genes do not ultimately determine the choices that we make, they clearly influence a large part of these cognitions, whether we are aware of them or not. The cognition that governs the fitness of the choices that we make with regards to the loving or romantic relationships we keep is another unexplored territory---another story to leave for the birds and the bees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is to emphasize the need for careful choice on the part of females. And on another plane, let us be thankful for the men in our lives that chose to go against their genetic predisposition to go for more females (in part because of millions of years of female condoning) to be with you and only you. =)

Dear sunshine

2008-04-26T05:57:00.003+08:00

This was first posted in my Multiply site. I didn't intend to post it here because my boyfriend reads my blog whenever he uses the net. I didn't want him to know this because it sounds a bit childish and selfish. But I told him all about this entry already, and he laughed. His laughter wasn't sarcastic or anything...it just told me all I needed and wanted to hear. He really never ceases to amaze me with his unexpected responses to things. :)

~~~~~~~~~
This all began when you let me read the plan list you typed in one of the computers in the CTC com lab. I was genuinely smiling and I was so proud and happy of the things and plans that you wrote and conjured in your mind, whether they may be really what you'll do after you graduate. I hugged you and told you how proud I am of you, sunshine, and how excited I was to see you do all these things that you wrote. You told me "Bola lang yung iba diyan...as if naman kaya ko."

I believe in you, even though you tell me off many times. I always knew you were really smart and wise, though you tell me I'm smarter than you. You can do a lot of things, and your potential can bring you to the far and beautiful places we could only go to when we talk about them in our little conversations in the Berch benches. I really wanted you to be great and to be all you can be. I want to see you be really successful, to be up there, because you can do it. Don't tell me you can't, because I love you, and I know you can.

You told me you knew how much I love you and how much you make me proud and happy. But in a crevice deep in my heart I keep fear that you can't seem to chase away, sunshine. I'm sure you don't know this, and this causes me a great deal of sadness sometimes. The moment the white computer screen carried your words of wisdom, happiness and pride to my eyes, my eyes stung and were close to brimming with tears.

At that moment, I really wished that I read my name in your list.

Destroying Our Heritage Via The Internet

2008-04-16T01:34:00.007+08:00

WARNING: *growls*

~~~~~~
I don't know how I got to a random Filipino forum (due to incessant clicking at random links, maybe). I was irritated because of what I've seen and read, and a Y!M contact's status message was the last straw to break my back.

I am infuriated.

Why do you have to use these distortions of certain Filipino words in the effort to look 'cool'? LET ME TELL YOU THIS. IT IS NOT F***ING COOL. I can take toggle caps (tOgGLe CaPs) a notch lower than I can take your stupid and deliberate misspellings and word butchering.

I just can't understand why people tend to use brutal shortcuts and misspellings in blog entries, journal posts, Y!M status messages, forum replies, and social networking site profiles, while they have access to virtually unlimited character capacity, spaces and all 26 letters of the freaking alphabet in front of them. Save the text language for texting, please. Another thing that puzzles me is why people tend to choose misspellings that are actually longer than the original word they want to type. They even add extra letters that aren't present in the word phonetically. Don't get me started with the obscene usage of punctuation.

Examples:

'Di coh kc alam yhun'
'I love you, j*** coh'
'Nwala cel coh'
'nAVOetAst' (Navotas to, maniwala kayo't sa hindi.)
'cHAvii nG mGAh fWEnDz qEw'
'tAtaNgAPEn kiTAh bsTAh bAH TEZti cOUh aAhh'

Possible response to criticism and attack to their usage of dismantled and corrupted word forms and spellings would be "Naiintindihan naman eh"(It can be understood anyhow), "Pareho lang ang tunog" (They sound the same), "Design lang yung excess letters"(The excess letters are just design). Present these arguments to me and let's see you take a dive in the murky and boiling waters of my OC-driven and nationalistic anger. I care about Filipino grammar and form so much, because for me, the beauty of our language lies within it; within this beauty lies what and how unique we are. It's cliche, I know...and I can go all day about how Manuel Quezon declared Filipino as our National Language and how Rizal emphasize its importance, as well as how important it is for us to use, care and be proud of it, but I bet shitloads of Filipinos wouldn't care a pinch. I have utmost respect for the language because its form is so beautiful and intricately created by centuries of rich culture and signs of survival through years of invasion and colonization. The Filipino language we have today may be a hybrid, but its function and form managed to stay beautiful. The language have survived for so long this way, and I can't tolerate you butchering it into a piece of rotten meat that we can no longer recognize as our own.

Besides having been known for ending the career of almost all of the Hispanic boxers there is, we are known for plaguing and living in every known crevice in this planet, even the internet. The internet is a public place, and foreigners from almost all the nations in the world today can access other territories via a simple click. To you who bear no conscience over preserving the form of our own language in blog entries, journal posts, Y!M status messages, forum replies, and social networking site profiles---THE WHOLE WORLD SEES WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

You butcher your own language, you might as well cut your own guts out.
How dare you deface your own heritage in front of the whole world.

~~~~~~~~
**It's a bit ironic I wrote something to defend the Filipino language in English. But it's just so everyone can read it, not just those who can understand Filipino.

pop my tummy

2008-04-12T22:05:00.001+08:00

Random funny ang toinks stuff =))

1. Chris Tiu's Nesvita Commercial
Don't get me wrong. I'm not laughing AT him, I'm laughing at the FACTS that surround the commercial:

it's the first thing I saw when I turned on the TV last night. It took me a few seconds to absorb what my retinas were seeing (Chris with two topless guys on the beach eating oats. BWAHAHAHAHAA),
he was the only one with a freakin' shirt on (Come on, Chris, WAG KA NGANG KJ BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA),
this is the guy who once told us that "He's not meant for showbiz" and
It's true, isn't it...seeing someone you actually know and socialized with for a sem or two on TV would definitely make you drop your jaws and laugh a bit, especially when you really can't imagine them doing things like that when they're in their "normal state". I also laughed when I saw Joel Darwin's (my former english blockie) cookie commercial.

But, hey. Good job, Chris. Imba ka, pare...kahit naka shirt ka at sila naka-topless. =))

2. "Katol=Kape" -Miles Domingo
Scenario: Me and Mareca, my little sister, were watching TV upstairs. During a commercial break, she went down to the kitchen and called something out to me.

Mareca: Ate Kim (nickname ko sa pamilya ko), nasan ung katol?
Miles: Ha?
Mareca: (Sounds a bit muffled) Katol!
Miles: Tingnan mo dyan sa may mga gamot.
Mareca: *went upstairs again* Hindi ko makita, mehn.
Miles: Bulag ka. Pag nahanap ko, ha.
Mareca: Sige nga.
Miles: *went down, kinuha ang katol, umakyat muli, placed the coils on Mareca's lap* Ayan oh, bulag.
Mareca: Oh, so? Anong gagawin ko?
Miles: So so ka pa dyan. Sapakin kita eh. Ayan na yung katol.
Mareca: Ah, ganun. Ikaw kaya sapakin ko. Kape, hindi katol.

Anlayo yata ng kape sa katol. Onga naman. Alanganamang itimpla ni sis ang katol. Sige na nga. Consolation prize ni Miles: "Okay lang, pareho naman silang nagsisimula sa ka."

and so we improve ourselves day by day

2008-04-05T18:15:00.000+08:00

Camille "Miles" F. Domingo
System Ver. 3.36

Add-ons:

Burgundy colored hair with red highlights
Sir Guidote induced heartbreak coupled by
Sir Guidote induced inspiration and euphoria
New DL certificate to add to her momma's collection
Vacation spent on reading, writing and drawing,
not to mention sleeping and waking up quite late
Movie marathons
More good vibes all around

System Retentions:

Family (cause of some serious system bugdowns, but Family will repair Miles automatically moments after bugdown.)
Jericho
Blockmates
Kassandra
Green tea
Sit-ups and jumping rope skipping

ERICA JOYCE JIMENEZ REYES

2008-04-01T10:48:00.002+08:00

Maligayang kaarawan sayo, best friend.

Kahit nasa UP Manila ka na, nag-dodorm at umuuwi sa Bulacan...hindi ko parin nakakalimutan ang pagkakaibigan natin...kaya manlibre ka. haha. =))

Miss na kita. Sana mabasa mo to.

Mahal na mahal ko kayo nina Grace. =)

In your face, mommeh.

2008-04-01T10:42:00.002+08:00

..And no...I am not talking about my mother.

Kahapon, napag-isipan kong lumabas at mag-mall dahil, a.) sobrang bored na ako sa bahay, b.) sobrang init at gusto ko ng aircon, at c.) dahil gusto kong mamili ng damit para sa summer. So ayun, pumunta ako sa pinakamalapit na mall dito sa amin, and SM Fairview. Ayoko sana sa mall na yun dahil a.)nakaka-stress maglakad at mag-shopping dahil super daming tao, b.) naka-set na ang utak ko na sa Trinoma ako pupunta pero naunsyame ang plano ko dahil hindi pala ako masasamahan ni Mareca. Seemingly, I had no choice, so sa SM Fairview ang bagsak ko.

So, sige, konting side trip tayo from the title, kids. Generally, hindi naman nakaka-disappoint ang pamimili ko kahapon, dahil may nabili naman ako dahil a.)may mga magagandang shirts na naka on-sale sa American Boulevard, b.) at super masayang mamili sa Surplus Shop. Iba talaga pag hindi ka mayaman, dahil magaling ka makakakita ng mga magaganda at quality na gamit at damit na mura lang. Super sarap kasi sa feeling na a.) makakita ng mga gamit na binebenta ng lampas isang libo sa isang botique o sa isang high-end na clothing line na alam mong puwede mong mabili sa Greenhills ng todo mas mura pa, b.) magkaroon ng mga gamit na mura lang pero maganda at sasabihin sayo ng ibang tao, "I like your dress / shirt / pants / outfit / skirt /shorts / etc. You bought that from *insert name of high-end clothing brand here* noh?", tapos sasagot ka, "No...I got this from *insert name of bargain place here* for only *insert cheap price here*." Yeaheh, baby...as in WOHOO. Makes me proud being a sucker for stuff on sale. Good bargain hunters, unite.

Dumaan ako sa department store, baka kasi may makita akong magandang mga pieces dun. I saw a neat pair of shorts, and I went to try them on in the fitting room. Pag pasok ko, super ingay. May mga batang nagtatanong sa nanay nila kung okay ang suot nila, may mga nanay na nagtatanong sa mga anak at asawa nila kung hindi ba sila mukhang balyena sa suot nila. May mga sumisigaw para tawagin ang mga sales lady sa labas na nagkwekwentuhan dahil magpapakuha sila ng 36-C na bra galing sa Triumph. Ningitian ko ang saleslady na nakasalubong ko, at itinaas ng kaunti ang shorts na hawak ko. Ngumiti siya pabalik, at itinuro ako sa isang bakanteng cubicle. Pumasok ako, at isinukat ko ang shorts. Lagi akong sablay sa unang pili, pero iba ngayon. It's either I get a pair of pants, a shirt or a blouse that makes my ass and trunk look like I'm rolled up and ready to be deep-fried, or I get clothing that's so loose that I'd pass for a ghetto hip-hop rapper with the chains and all. Natuwa naman ako, kasi ngayon, iba ang sitwasyon. Saktong-sakto lang ang shorts na pinili ko. Umikot ikot ako ng konti sa harap ng salamin at tiningnan ng mabuti ang sarili ko. There must be a hidden flaw somewhere, and I had to find it before I pay for it. Habang naghahanap ako ng flaw, napansin ko na kanina pa dumadakdak ng malakas ang babae sa cubicle na nasa kanan ko. As a matter of fact, sa kanya na nga galing ang 65% (naks, may percent pa) ng ingay sa fitting room. Paulit-ulit nagtatanong at nagsasabi na kunin mo ito, kunin mo iyan, hawakan mo nga ito, hawakan mo nga iyan, mukha ba akong mataba, hindi ba nakakaitim ang kulay na ito, wag mo ngang hawakan to, ito ang hawakan mo at iba pa. Nakininig pa ako ng ilang sandali, at sinubukang isipin kung sino ang kausap niya. Pero ang galing ni Lord, sinagot niya kaagad ang tanong ko.

"MOMMY ANO BA HINDI AKO SAMPAYAN, OKAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!"

Sumigaw ang bata. As in bata, take note...babae, mga 4 years old siguro. Natahimik ang buong fitting room. Pati nanay niya natahimik. Sana inorasan ko kung gaano katagal tumahimik sa loob ng fitting room para accurate, pero hindi ko naorasan. Kaya sasabihin ko nalang na "It stayed silent for what seemed like more or less 2 minutes".

Pilit kong itinago ang tawa ko. Hinubad ko na ang shorts na sinusukat ko at nagbihis na ako. Paglabas ko ng dressing room, dun ako tumawa. Pati ang mga saleslady na nagkwekwentuhan sa labas, natawa sa bata. Nagbago tuloy ang topic nila. Yan kasi, bungangera, ang ingay kasi, demanding che!, kawawa ung bata, sukat ba namang gawing sampayan, etc, etc.

So balik tayo sa pamagat.

In your face, mommeh.

A very short snippet involving some parts of my anatomy

2008-03-30T11:31:00.003+08:00

A word of caution. This may be a little bit obscene to some of you guys..so sorry.

Really. =))

~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a sunny Sunday morning when
Miles' uterus said, "No day but today. It'll be nice to release baggage anyway."
And so it chose to release its thickened endometrial lining today.
"Ouch," said Miles. "Painful dysmenorrhea!"
Dolfenal, Dolfenal. Midol? Advil, Advil. Or maybe Advil.
Miles felt sad and pained, and she wished that it be all gone before the second of April.
Because she didn't want to go to her block outing ill.

ika nga ni Eli Buendia, "Mahahanap din kita"

2008-03-23T11:19:00.002+08:00

My mom asked me if I would go to church today. I told her I didn't want to. Then she started talking going to church and talking to God more often.

While she was in the middle of her speech about how I shouldn't look at how totally f***ed up the people in our church were but instead I should look at my personal relationship with the transcendent, a car, whose stereos blared music out like there's no tomorrow stopped in front of our house. Turns out there was a small traffic jam near the guard house.

I could have ignored this small incident, but the music that the car's stereos were playing was so fitting to the situation, and the irony that it created was so hilarious.

The song's title? Losing My Religion by REM.

Three people tagged me, so I'm trying to be extra happy than I usually am just to answer this thing

2008-03-03T01:05:00.002+08:00

Quite a long title, I'm sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Post 10 things that recently made you happy, then tag ten other people and spread the LOVE:

1. My dad. Best guy in the whole world for all time! He comforted me when I lost my phone. Nothing beats his hugs! =) I LOVE YOU PAPA! =)

2. Jericho. He's the best guy in the whole world next to my dad. I just love how he makes me very very very happy by letting me squeeze his bulging tummy (which I caused, by the way. I kept on giving him more than half of my food every time we eat. Aaaand...I've been doing that for a year now. Sorry, bebe =)) ) whenever I'm sad or when I need an outlet for a manic episode. He's the best comforter and hugger next to my daddy! haha. I LOVE YOU BOYFRIEND! hahaha..okay, cheesy.

3. Work. Yeah, I sound like a loser, I know. But work makes me feel really useful and productive. Nothing makes me feel happier than that feeling. It gets my brain racing and functioning and my endorpine levels high.

3. My PC, Gin. I love his sexy 80 gig memory and the broadband internet. Killer combination.

4. Green Tea. It's my new water now. I feel healthier because of it! Make me happy anytime by giving me a box of these really really happy tea bags! =)

5. Sky Flakes. I stopped eating sky flakes ever since I tried coping and ridding myself of bulemia because it reminded me of the days when I used to poke my throat with a toothbrush. But when my mom brought home a big can, I can't help but eat em. DELICIOUS MEHN...SUPER! And to add to that, I was very glad because I didn't think of puking them out.

6. Drawing and Photoshop. Inner artist self is happy right now because of devart and psych project.

7. Blogging. Aaah. The wonders of writing. Cathartic and very thought provoking.

8. Ignoring someone. Yeah, call me evil...but I'm loving it. It's out of my nature, but this thing is different. It's actually LIBERATING. It's about time narin siguro. I can't be your patient and waiting pal forever, kiddo. Maybe you've got to realize something din. I know where I stand, and unfortunately, you don't. WOHOOO

9. Friends. Blockmates, classmates! <3

10. My Weight. I lost 2 pounds in a healthy way! :) I didn't resort to not eating or puking! Yay! I'm still in my normal weight range, and that's a good marker. =)

I'm tagging who? Nobody in particular! :)
If you want to answer this, go on ahead! :) Spread the smiles around!

no space for defense mechanisms

2008-03-01T21:46:00.002+08:00

My ego is so crippled right now. It's under stress, and it can't even resort to defense mechanisms because it's not allowed. Pampamanhid na ang kailangan ko. Pero pati yun bawal gawin.

Wag mo nalang ako kausapin para matapos na. Ikaw lang naman dahilan nito lahat eh.

~~~~~~~~~
Sorry...pero talagang suko na ako sa nanay ko.

proudly a 90's baby

2008-02-25T10:07:00.001+08:00

If you were born before 1993, then this survey should be easy for you to fill out. If you're not, dont even bother; you'll just get confused!

1. What year were you born in?
--- 1989.

2. Which Spice Girl were you when you were young?
--- I remember liking Posh Spice, the Mrs. Victoria Beckham today. haha.

3. Backstreet boys or NSYNC?
--- BACKSTREET BOYS, mehn.

4. Did you watch S Club 7?
--- No. I actually had this radar for teeny bopper sh*t that won't last long...and their music was too "pop" for my taste.

5. Which was your favorite, Sandlot or Little Rascals?
--- Little Rascals! I love Alfalfa! =))

6. Did you ever have light up sneakers?
--- Yeah. Had one with the blue and pink lights. =))

7. What was your favorite thing about recess?
--- Playing agawan base with my classmates and picking Aratelis fruits from the nearby tree! yum!

8. Cinderella or Snow White?
--- I wasn't exactly what you call a Disney kid. Would you believe that I only got to watch both films last December because of my 3 year old cousin? hahaha =))

9. Did you wake up really early just to watch cartoons on Saturday (or weekday) mornings?
--- Yeah, I did. I woke up early and sneaked just to watch Power Rangers, Romeo, Julio at Julia, Judy, Remy, Blue Blink etc on TV =))

10. What was your favorite holiday?
--- I used to love Christmas.

11. Did you ever try to stay up on Christmas just so you could see Santa?
--- I didn't. I was a pessimistic child from the start, because I knew that there had to be a human force behind all the gifts under the Christmas tree. It was all because my parents forgot to take out the price tag in the matchbox car set I recieved from "Santa" back then. I asked myself: Would Santa, who lived in the North Pole, buy something from the department store? =))

12. What grade did you like the best?
--- I dunno. Grade school was like...poof. If I wasn't bullied (you read right) back then, I could have remembered things better. I can't even remeber which grades I was actually bullied. Repression at work, maybe. But I loved the teachers there, though. =)

13. Ninja Turtles or Power Rangers?
--- Dude, Power Rangers are the shiznit for me back then. I actually imagined being Trini, the Yellow ranger. I hated Kimberly (the pink one) for flirting with the Jason, the red ranger. Oha, tandang tanda ko pa. hahaha =))

14. Which Power Ranger were you?
--- Read number 13.

15. Did you ever own a Chinese jump rope?
--- Yeah. I pestered my mom a number of times to buy or ask for scrap garter from the tailor shop near us.

16. What were your favorite things to eat?
--- I virtually ate everything when I was a kid because those were the days when I didn't even get fat.

17. What was your favorite color?
--- I passed through the phase where everybody loved pink, and so I loved pink too. Conformity went through my head as a kid.

18. Barney or Sesame street?
--- Sesame Street, definitely. I'd like to think that I didn't really like Barney back then, but I can't remember if I really did. And sooo...let's leave it at that, shall we?

19. Do you ever miss being a little kid?
--- Of course. Everything was more colorful and a little less bleak back then.

20. Do you wish you were older?
--- I remember wishing to be older back then because I learned the hard way that nobody listens to you unless you're freaking 35. But I stopped wishing that I was older when I read that damn Sweet Valley twins book about them getting older (like 10 years older) overnight after wishing for it. They ended up homeless and taking the real world head on. WTF.

21. What was your first pet's name?
--- We had a dog named Douglas who died of asphyxiation when he tried to crawl out of his dog cage. We also passed through a phase of naming our dog by their color (black dog=Blackie, brown dog=Brownie) because we were so mentally taxed and lazy to think of a better name.

22. Who was your best friend in kindergarten?
--- I had a friend named Louie (a guy) whom I had racing contests with. I remember him the most because he actually kicked me when he lost in one of the sprints we had. That guy needed gender and physical delineation badly back then. I hope he's well somewhere. =)

23. Are you still friends with the person you were best friends with in the 3rd grade?
--- Yeah, we ended up being high school classmates...and so we bonded more =)

24. Where did you live when you were 9?
--- Still here in Fairview.

25. What was your all time favorite movie?
--- The Day After Tomorrow? Crash?

26. Which did you like 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark' or 'AHH! Real Monsters?
--- I remember saying "Nakakatakot ba yan?" to AYAOTD. I love AHH! Real Monsters...Oblina and her gut, Krum and his odor and extremely freaky eyeballs and Ickis and his cute bunny ears. hahaha.

27. Did you watch Rockos Modern Life?
--- I LOVE ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE!! BRING THAT SHOW BACK, PLEASE?

28. Who was your favorite Rugrat?
--- Chucky Finster.

29. Did you own a tamagochi?
--- Yeah, I did. My uncle bought me 3 different tamagotchis from Singapore. I remebered having one confiscated by my grade 3 adviser because I wasn't listening to her lecture about world maps. When she returned it to me, my little tamagotchi became a disfigured alien with 3 eyes dangling out from its jell-o-like body.

take me awaaaayyy

2008-02-22T20:26:00.000+08:00

Anong nagawa ko sayo at kahit napaka-inosenteng bagay sinisigawan mo ko o sinusupladahan? Wala naman akong ginagawang masama sayo. Lagi nalang akong nagbibigay..hindi kita pinapatulan, pero irespeto mo naman ako. UTANG NA LOOB, ATE MO AKO.

VOTE OMI CASTANAR FOR INDEPENDENT SANGGU PRESIDENT

2008-02-15T09:22:00.000+08:00

SENIORS CAN VOTE!!!

Why Independent?
First, my principle dictates that I do not join pol. parties just so that I can use it as my political machinery. I respect the fact that political parties are formed to ensure leadership and ideological formation. If I joined last December, with only 2 months before the election, there will be no opportunity for this formation.

Second, my running as an INDEPENDENT Sanggu President is a statment that Sanggunian is for ALL of us, not only for the political parties.

What are my Plans for Sanggu?
1. Principled Leadership
It's disappointing that when we think of student leaders, Sanggunian doesn't come first into mind. I promise that I will fully commit my last remaining year in Sanggu. I may not be the popular candidate but I believe that popularity is not the measure of good leadership.

2. Transparent Representation
It's very simple - tell the students (USE THE PROMOBOARDS!) what is happening in the school committee meetings and the meetings with the Board of Trustess. Tell us how you are representing us. That way, the students can already tell their parents that there will be a 5% tuition fee increase next year.

3. Pro-Active Formation
As representatives of the student body, the Sanggunian is in the best position to help in designing the Integrated Non-Academic Program of Ateneo (e.g. InTACT, NSTP, JEEP, Immersion).

4. Socio-political Inolvement
Sanggunian should take the initiative in educating the students about the various socio-political issues of our nation. This does not only include talks and stands on the issues but a sustained fervor for involvement. This entails Sanggu officers who are both knowledgeable and immersed in these issues.

The most difficult question - Why?
I really believe that Sanggu should earn the trust of the students. My campaign is all about a Sanggu that speaks to the students. I am running because I believe that Sanggu is still worth investing in. Running as an independent candidate is difficult. But what I lack in loudness and in numbers, I make up for in heart and in dedication. I sincerely want to lead our Sanggunian. I have no political party interest, no self interest - only the interest of the students I represent.

For questions, suggestions please e-mail me: omi4president@gmail.com

For more details about my campaign please visit my blog: http://omi4president.multiply.com

If you believe in my campaign and for what I stand for, please forward this email to your friends, org-mates, blockmates, and your loved ones. Tell them about how you are HOPING for a better Sanggunian next year.

~~~~~~~~~~
errr...sorry Jauro.

deep sense

2008-02-11T01:10:00.001+08:00

How do you know if what you're feeling is really fear and despair, not just something brought about by external pressures and forces that make you take these feelings as your own?

Is your fear and despair really yours? What if they are just induced by what's around you, not produced by you?

How do you know if what you feel is really deep fear and despair? Is it how you feel when you see a big spider jump to your hand? Is it the sensation as it slowly makes its way to your arm, your shoulders, your face? Is it how you feel when you dread an upcoming long test, or when you see a dark figure via your peripheral vision?

What should we fear? Where and in what should we direct feelings of despair?

Maybe you should be scared if you feel that you no longer fear losing certain useless companions and friends that weigh you down because you have all you need already. Perhaps you should be scared for not fearing what's to be feared---the higher-ups, institutions---the things that you once revered that you now call shit. Maybe you should feel despair for resigning to the fact that you will go to hell, and you will not go spend time to do something about it. Maybe, just maybe.

We should all fear the lack of fear and feel despair for the absence of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tried a technique Sir Marx called free writing/typing. I closed all of my mind's automatic censors for this post. No pressing the backspace key to rephrase or renew ideas, except for spelling corrections and typos. Sorry to those who didn't like this post.

usapang Chris Tiu

2008-02-10T18:59:00.000+08:00

Sorry kayo, hindi ito isang fan girl post.

Naalala ko lang kasi kanina ang ilang mga moment pag nasisingit sa usapan naming magkakaibigan si Chris. Nakakahiya kasi natawa ako mag-isa nang naalala ko ang mga yun. Tinignan tuloy ako ng masama ni manong trike driver.

MEMORY 1: Chris Tiu and the Nuts

Ang kuwento: Play namin noon sa History 16. Nagdala si Chris ng maraming pakete at isang garapon ng Pili nuts para gawin naming props at snacks narin.

Ang usapan:
CHRIS: *inabot ang pili nuts sa akin* Miles, we can use these as props for the dinner scene. If you want to eat, then go ahead.
MILES: Wow, pili nuts! Favorite ko to!
CHRIS: Talaga? They're really good, no? Go, open a pack.
MILES: Okay then. Thanks Chris!
CHRIS: No problem. *walks away, goes to god knows where*
MILES: *opens a pack, walks to the stage where rest of cast members and group mates are. waves the pack of pili nuts over her head, then shouts at the top of her voice*
Hey guys! Who wants some of Chris' nuts?
CARA: *looks at me with her patented shocked look* Dude, that sounded so wrong.

MEMORY 2: Chris Tiu and the Nuggets

Ang kuwento: Bago mag-Histology lab, kumakain ng lunch ang lahat sa loob ng lab. Mae was eating chicken nuggets she bought from Chris' stall in the SOM mall, Chinky Chickens.

Ang usapan:
MAE: *takes a bite out of a chicken nugget dipped in ketchup*
Wow, Chris' nuggets taste really good!
*everybody who heard her looks at her with shocked faces, followed by boisterous laughter*
CARA and MILES: Dude, that sounded wrong in so many levels!

Sorry Chris, hindi kita binabackstab ha. =))

because it's three in the morning

2008-02-06T03:14:00.000+08:00

From Niccole.

BEFORE ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS, THINK OF SOMEONE FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX AND IMAGINE HIM/HER ASKING YOU THESE:

1. Why did you choose me?
Because I'm futuristic (I think you know what I mean, right?). =)

2. How often do you think of me?
More often than you think I do.

3. Would you drink bottles of beer with me?
Sure.

4. Did you ever have a crush on ME?
Yeah, I did before when we were still friends in the org. But I never showed it to anyone. Embarrassing, huh?

5. How would you react if i tell you i have a crush on you?
Oh, I'd laugh and feel giddy inside as I always do when you tell me you love me. It feels like you have a perpetual crush on me everytime you do that...so I guess that's the same.

6. Would you live with me, under the same roof?
Everything has its own time.

7. What place greatly reminds you of me?
Library. Haha. Nerd, no?

8. What song would you like to dedicate to me?
Hero/Heroine by Boys like Girls.

9. What was the sweetest thing i did for you?
The time when you walked/ran all the way from Moro to SEC when I told you I was crying over some situation (that I'd rather not specify) I was really unhappy about. Hahaha. =))

10. what's so frustrating about me?
You just can't seem to easily tell me that I've hurt you when I've done something wrong to you.

11. How did you feel when you first saw me cry?
It broke my heart, and I swore that I'll never hurt you again.

12. What does your family think of me?
Now? My siblings love you, and dad likes you better than before. My mom...well, let's say she shows her feelings by cooking her trademark pasta that you love so much for you almost twice a week. =)

13. What do you miss most about me?
Before, when I still smoked, you bought me lollipops everyday just help me cope with stress and to quit. =)

14. What gift are you planning to give me on Christmas?
Hmm. Surprise.

15. After this sort of interview, where would you like us to be?
Here.

16. What do you think of my crushes/girlfriends?
Wait. Isn't that me? =)

~~~~~~~~
Sabaw, so cheesy ako. =))

2,3,4-trimethylocta-2,4-diene

2008-01-29T06:32:00.001+08:00

Last night, I have proved the fact that dreams are the repository and manifestation of things that threaten our very consciousness.

Napanaginipan ko si Sir Guidote kagabi, at super malungkot/galit/frustrated ang mukha niya. Marami siyang hawak na papers na itatapon niya sa isang nasusunog na pile sa kanyang tabi. Habang nasusunog ang mga papel na hawak ni sir ay may mga tumatalon at lumulutang na maraming skeletal structures tulad ng heptane, benzene, cresol, 1,2-dichloropent-2-ene, 2,3,4-trimethylocta-2,4-diene at iba pa mula sa apoy.

!@#$%^&*@ng org chem. Anxiety source, grabe.

i have to get this out of my head

2008-01-22T20:17:00.000+08:00

...or else i'll throw a pretty big bitchfit on this person the next time I see her.

~~~~~~~~~~
(PROFANITYHERE)
Don't you "shush" me. "SHUSH" YOURSELF. You're too noisy for anybody's comfort. Nobody has the guts to tell you this, but don't think that everybody actually listens and is interested in what you are saying. Can't you hear your own irritating voice? Get out of your bubble, hear yourself. You might actually be irritated at yourself.

Pasensyahan nalang tayo, kesa naman sa personal kita ganituhin, baka di mo kayanin. Buti nalang nagawa kong isuppress sarili ko kanina kasi maaga pa at naisip ko pa kahihiyan natin pareho. Hindi lang kasi tayong dalawa ang tao doon, at sana bago mo ako ginanun, naisip mo manlang to. Utang na loob, matuto ka ng self-control, you conceited...tch. Tama na nga. Mabait ako, pero (insert profane word here), wag mo kong ginaganun. You've hit a pretty big nerve earlier today TWICE, dude. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. RAWR.

Hindi muna magiging masaya ang pakikitungo ko sayo sa mga susunod na araw...pero wag ka mag-alala..pinatawad na kita. Kelangan ko lang talaga ng outlet. So, pasensya na. Kakausapin kita tungkol dito, pangako. Kelangan ko lang magpalamig para maging maayos ang mga lumabas sa bibig ko.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Pasensya na sa mga nakabasa nito at hindi nagustuhan ang mga sinabi ko. Kelangan ko lang talaga ilabas eh. Hindi kasi ako makapag-aral ng matino.

People's reactions to Miles' New haircut

2008-01-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

My mom, my siblings
*Stares at me blankly. My sister's jaws dropped*

My dad
*ruffles my hair*
"Aba, bagay ah!"

My sister (When she walked in our room while I was drying my hair)
*Looks at me*
"Uy, ang gwapo mo ah."

The Boyfriend
a. *Looks at me, smiles, hugs me, then kisses my forehead*
b. *Strokes my hair* Pahaba ka na ulit, ha?
c. "Bagay naman sayo eh...maganda ka parin."

Mae Quijano
a. "WHAAATTTTTT? WHAT DID YOU DO?"
b. "Ay, grabe Miles, di ko kinakaya, ang hot mo."
c. "OH MY GOD MILES. I thought you were a hot guy just now."

Didi Pelaez
a. "Wow Miles! Bagong hair! Can I touch it?"
b. "Kamukha mo si Beyonce sa Goldmember!"

Jamie Lasam
"Wow Miles! Your hair looks fabulous! You look fabulous!"

Liane Tan
*Looks at me, laughs her signature laugh*

Cara Chuidian
"I thought you were someone else! I was about to scream 'HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MILES' CHAIR'!"

Alyza Taguilaso
"Why is everybody cutting their hair short?"

Benj Hernandez
a. "It brings out your strong personality."
b. "You look butch." *Then laughs*
c. "...Domo ne, Miles-kun." (Means: "Thank you, Miles-kun." In Japanese, kun is a suffix added to address guys whom you are close to)

Arvin Salvador
"Ayos Miles ah, san ka nagpagupit at nagpakulay? Bagay sayo."

Joboy Magsino and Jan Formalejo
a. "Miles is a hot and sexy lesbian! Wohooooo"
b. *Agrees with Didi* "Onga! BEYONCE!"

Felo Mangawang
"You look so hot, Miles!"

Jika Regala
"I colored my hair red. Astig tayo, pare!"

Marc Santos
*Looks at me, touches hair*
"Wow, bagong gupit."

Ekai Ticong
"Wow! Ayown naman!"

Hermund Rosales
"Huy! Di kita nakilala! Nakana, bagong look!"

Chris Tiu
*Looks at me once, then does a double take*
"O, Miles! You cut your hair! Wow, it looks nice on you!"

Dr. Armando Guidote (Chem 21 prof)
*Looks at me, then asks*
"Umm...you're sitting in with whom?" (I thought he was joking, but it turns our sir seriously didn't recognize me.)

Anzo Quiambao
"Oh my god, Miles! Bagay sayo! Magpagupit din kaya ako ng ganyan?"

Ysi Domingo
"I love it! Your haircut's so edgy!"

Jarylle Chu
"MILES! BAGAY TALAGA SAYO!" *hugs me*

Ms. Frances Vega (Chem 22 prof)
"Your hair's really nice! Kelan ka nagpagupit?"

Joash and Anjuli
"You look like Halle Berry now!"

Elixon San Felipe and Iggi Ibarrola
Elix: Whoa! *Kalabit kay Iggi* Iggi!
Iggi: HUY MILES! Bagong gupit!
Elix: Si Gloria o!

Marian Aniban
"TIBOOOOOO!"

Maral Español
"Wow, Miles! Bagay sayo!"

Glenn Teh
"O, guys, tanungin niyo naman si Nova Villa." *then looks at me* =))

Mia Dantes
"Miles, hindi parin ako sanay sa new hair mo!"

General public (marami sila masyadong nagsabi nito kaya di ko na ie-enumerate)
a. OH MY GOD!!!!!" *with matching takip sa bibig at hithit ng hangin*
b. "Grabe ka ma-bore!"
c. "Anong pumasok sa utak mo't nagawa mo yan?"
d. "Ang drastic ng change!"
e. "Bagay sayo!"
f. "Shet, nagulat ako!!"
g. *Touches hair. (Baka nga naman kasi wig. haha)*
h. "Nagbago itsura mo talaga!"
i. "WOW!"
j. "Kuya Miles!"
k. "Anong sabi ng mga magulang mo?"
l. "Anong sabi sayo ni Jericho/ boyfriend mo?"

~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for the compliments and funny remarks. You make me love innovating myself :P

19 for my 19th

2008-01-18T22:20:00.001+08:00

Reasons for this post:
1. Malapit na ang birthday ko.
2. Gusto kong makuha ang mga bagay na ito.
3. Umaasa akong makuha ko ang mga bagay na ito.
4. Nagpaparinig ako (bwahahahaha).
5. Makapal lang talaga ang mukha ko.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MILES' 19th BIRTHDAY WISHLIST

A trip to Japan.
A scholarship in the Sophia University.
P 10,000. Any amount higher than this would be albsolutely appreciated. Haha.
A really nice condo, dorm or apartment package in Katipunan. Sobrang pagod na pagod na akong gumising ng super super maaga at mag-commute papuntang school kaya naman gusto ko na talaga tumira along that area. PLEASE LAAAAANNNG.
Laptop. Not that big, not that small. Must come in sweet jet black or a funky color like orange. Must have nice specs, like an 80 gig hard drive with 2 gig RAM.
DSLR. Nikon, Canon. <3
160 gig external hard drive. Not sure if they sell it in this memocapacity though. If they don't, I think the 80 gig one is okay.
A cool pair of high-cut Chucks.
Really nice earphones. Mine's busted already, so I need a new one.
A new flashdisk. 1 gig minimum memory capacity. I lost mine, so I DESPERATELY need a new one. Lack of funds add frustration to my desperation.
Books by: Stephen King, Anne Rice, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft or any writer from the mystery, horror or psychological genre, or any Paulo Coelho book except for the Alchemist (I already have a copy).
A nice wallet. It has to have space for keeping pictures (I want to see a picture of me and Jericho whenever I open it. Haha..ang cheesy noh?).
Liquid/gel/powder blush-on, shimmery eye powder. Yay for my gay/girly side. My skin works with orange-y, natural, gold, and bronze tones best because I'm a morena.
Really nice slogan or graphic shirts, especially those with cats on them.
Dress code-friendly shorts for school. The ones that are not classified under pekpek shorts that are very nice for hot days. Haha. =)
The garter headband thingies (Dunno what they call them eh).
One big case of Celestial Seasonings Caffeinated Green Tea in any flavor. This can be bought from Healthy Options.
An original Rubic's cube. I need to re-learn my Rubic's cube solving skills. Keep on forgetting how to solve the third layer because of skill decay from lack of exposure and practice.
Tell Jericho that Miles loves him when you see him. Cheesy na, alam ko, pero sige na, pagbigyan niyo na ako.

nuns are alleric to dinosaurs

2008-01-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

When I was in kinder (I was 4 or 5 years old then) I was fond of reading books about dinosaurs. I knew their names, how they looked like and what they ate. I knew about fossils, excavations and the scientists’ theories on how they became extinct. But alongside the dino-books that I read, my mom and the school (which was run entirely by nuns) that I went to back then encouraged us to read the bible. I was most familiar with the story of creation found in the book of Genesis, and so I was able to notice that dinosaurs weren’t described in it. I was told that the fossils were evidences of their existence, and now, I just read that the bible holds nothing of that sort. To ease my confusion, I asked my teacher, who was a nun, why was this the case. She looked at me with shocked and disdainful eyes and made me stand in the corner of the room, facing the wall for the whole day, only making me stop to eat my snacks.

That was the first time I knew of how power from authority other than my parents tasted like and this was also my fondest memory of what “smart-asses” get when asking too much questions. It was only when I grew up that I asked myself if there was anyone in this world that suffered the same fate as I did from asking the same question.

friends don't let friends dial drunk

2008-01-01T10:45:00.000+08:00

I should be doing lots of school work now, but I chose to blog just to keep my brain cells from crashing.

Almost everyone's making a list of their resolutions and goals for the new year. It's like a tradition, or maybe, for me, the reason why people do this is because it's kind of an effort to start the year right. That's a nice thought, but, no, I won't make a list of resolutions nor a goal plan for this year. There's this superstition that I constructed myself, which goes, 'the best of things appear when things starts bad or unprepared' (Haha. Talk about why I am a crammer). For example, if I end up sitting on the wrong side of the jeep and ended up finding my hair all over my face because of the wind, my hair ended up to be really tamed and nice throughout the day. Or to make my example a little bit more relevant, many of the best years I had in general started out bad or weren't planned at all. Therefore, in general, the good times come without goal lists or resolutions. But does this stop me from planning things? Nah. Don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for plans. Heck, that's why I always get a really nice planner every year. I hate it when unplanned things manage to squeeze in through my perfectly ironed-out schedule, and I get crammy when people ask me to do things they didn't tell me about at least a day before. But I guess the 'good things turn out from the unplanned' thing is God's way of giving me a little breathing space from my self-made noose.

Speaking of self-made superstitions and traditions, my dad has started a Domingo family original one right here. For the past 5 years, my dad has asked everyone in the family to pray out loud before we eat our media noche. We can pray for anyone, everything and anything we want. He says he wants us to start our year right. My prayer this year was really memorable, because it's the first time I actually included a boy's name in my prayer. It's really funny, because I opened my eyes a bit to look at my parent's face as I said Jericho's name out loud. My dad smiled, my mom squeezed her eyes shut tighter. I nearly burst out laughing, but thank God I remembered that I am in the middle of a prayer. I don't know what they were feeling, I was afraid to ask. I just let things be when we were all done.

It's a bit confusing, though. I've been 'starting my year right' according to my dad's standards, but here I am, believing in my self-constructed superstition. Ironies. My life is just full of it.

Anyway, have a happy new year, everybody.

all thanks to chapter 3 of my psych book

2007-12-29T12:58:00.000+08:00

It's my first Christmas to not receive anything from anyone of my ninongs and ninangs, many of whom are my mom's and dad's officemates. This sounds materialistic, but I love receiving things from them. It's saddening on my part, not to mention my sister and my brother are still young enough to receive lots of stuff from their respective ninongs and ninangs in the Christmases (if there's such a word) to come.

It's sad that we are all classically conditioned to have this materialistic spirit when the holidays come. When we were kids, we are given stimuli that we consider naturally pleasurable for our age back then when the Christmas season comes--lots of toys, money, new clothes, shoes and candies---that we learn to associate, or rather, think that Christmas is not Christmas without these things. This materialistic conditioning tends to yank the so-called "True Meaning of Christmas" from our developing brains as children, and so we carry this as we become adults. I have seen this in my little cousins (some of whom are my godchildren), and of course, in myself and in a lot of Scrooge-like adults on earth.

It's bad that we weren't counter-conditioned from this mentality by our parents, family members and ninongs and ninangs, but it's far worse that we have to do the counter-conditioning ourselves as we grow up.

"How Acads Stole (My) Christmas!"

2007-12-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

The Grinch is so outdated.

Now, here's the plot summary to the upcoming movie "How Acads Stole (My) Christmas":

1. Psych
-read chapter on learning and perception
- quiz, first meeting on January.

2. Org Chem
- Read, study and answer homework for Chapters 4-7

3. Histology
- Read on bones, cartilage and blood.

4. Org Chem Lab
- Handwritten postlab and prelab
- Quiz on infrared spectroscopy, first meeting on January

5. Japanese
- Finish Kanji exercises
- Practice reading and writing
- Start project (photo album)

6. SA (I was reminded of this nung nag e-mail si Liane sa y!g)
- Paper: Myself and the Sociological Imagination

~~~~~~~~~~~
Iie. Shimatta.
Meri Kurisumasu.

Wishlist 2007

2007-12-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

Wishlist for christmas 2007

1. Laptop. Dapat maganda specs. 80 gig hard drive.

2. DSLR!

3. External hardrive, 160 gig.

4. New 1 gig flashdrive. Nawala kasi yung sakin. So I need a new one.

5. Books. George Orwell's 1984 and Animal Farm. Any Stephen King or Anne Rice book.

6. New pairs of shoes. Chucks, flats, slippers...basta sapatos.

7. New jeans. Skinny.

8. New shirts na may cute na graphic designs or slogans. Spags in various colors. Blouses. Dresses din, pwede.

9. GC's from any store!

10. Ateneo Planner...

11. or kahit anong 2008 planner na hindi masyadong bulky at malaki, pero maganda at cute.

12. Ateneo jacket!!

13. A wallet.

14. A set of staedler fineliners!

15. A new school bag.

Oblation run lang pala ang katapat

2007-12-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

Dahil inaya ako ni Anzo kanina na manood ng Oblation run, maraming mga kalokohan namin nung highschool ang bumalik sa isip ko kanina, at eto ang isa.

Naalala ko nung fourth year highschool kami, napagtripan naming maglista ng mga pinakacommon na pangalan ng mga lalaki sa Pilipinas, at nasama sa listahan ang Mark, Joseph, Joey, Patrick, Carlo, Richard, Dennis, Jason, Jun, Jeremy, Jeremiah, Justin, John, Paul, Ben, Etc...etc. Ang plano noon, pupunta kami sa Diliman pag oblation run na, at isa isa naming isisigaw ang mga pangalan na inilista namin hanggang sa may lumingon.Pag nakajackpot kami ng tao, patay siya dahil mawawalan ng silbi ang paper bag na nakatakip sa ulo't mukha niya habang tumatakbo. Super bentang trips to, kaso sayang, it never materialized.

Naisip ko rin kanina na dapat gawing test ang oblation run para sa mga bio majors. Para matuto kaming maging clinical sa ganitong bagay...we'll be seeing the schlongs of our patients anyway at some point. Ang tumawa, zero. Ang mandiri, zero. Hahaha.

adults are out to destroy the world

2007-12-13T12:53:00.001+08:00

Some ideas I had when I was riding a jeep home from school one night.

~~~~~~~
When adults see you giving food to a beggar, they'll call you a saint.
If they hear you question why there are beggars who have nothing to eat and rich people who have everything, they call you a communist.

When they see you going to church every Sunday, follow traditions and ceremonies (though you were only forced to go), they'd call you pious.
When you ask where these came from and what their bases are, they'd call you a faithless heretic.

When they see you studying for a profession, they call you intelligent and industrious.
When they see you studying for a passion, they call you an impractical idiot.

When kids fight over the ownership of something they found on the street, adults will tell them to share.
When adults fight over the ownership of something, they'd rather kill than share.

waley na utak= waley post

2007-12-07T05:49:00.000+08:00

Nako nako. Enjoy at okay ako sa IUPAC naming and everything else.
Pero, patayin na ang resonance! CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NALOKA ANG CONVULUTIONS NG BRAIN KO!!!
Hahaha. Bitter ako? Hindi naman. Nako. Sana maging okay lang lahat.

Wala kaming Psych ngayon...nasa Bicol (tama ba?) si Ms. Ang. So instead of taking part of every Domingo family member's morning rush, here I am, chilling in front of the PC. Sarap ng walang 7.30 class.

My study desk looks like crap. Ang daming papel. Nako, pag napansin ni mama to, yari na naman ako. Better start fixing stuff.

TANGGALIN NA ANG MGA REQUIRED SUBJECTS NA HINDI NAMAN SINASAMA SA QPI (errr..except PE, kasi enjoy ako dun. *ehem*nstp*ehem)! Linteeeekkk. There's this maxim that goes, "There are things that you love to do, and things that you don't want to do, but you've got to do them just the same because you need to." Pero, nakakawala lang talaga ng enthusiasm ang (isang unexplainable) C...it takes me triple the effort to fix stuff for NSTP now..and it sucks.

I need to fix and submit something for a program abroad on or before Dec. 31. I really want to join this program, but lack of funds seem to be getting in the way. Grabe. Ang hirap ng sitwasyon...one of the greatest opportunities that came my way will be halted KASI WALA AKONG PERA. Tsk. To think that I really, really want to join this thing. Sana libre talaga lahat. Haha.

When was the last time I prayed? Read my bible? I can't remember. I'm sorry Lord...

This week is the unluckiest week in my second sem. But thank God for sustaining me...and for giving me someone that I look forward to seeing and hugging everyday.

disappointment

2007-12-01T14:48:00.001+08:00

Don't get me wrong. I completely understand what happened, and it gave me reasons not to get mad at you. I understand you..I really do. It's just that I was expecting you...and it really did me no good.

I'm sorry if I'm not talking to you right now. I was disappointed...and that, for me, is more of an internal battle as compared to anger. The thing with me is that I bounce back quicker from anger than I do from disappointment. You should know that by now.

Sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ayan. Para makapagsimula na akong mag-aral.

a mug of steaming hot honey lemon ginseng flavored green tea

2007-11-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

Some random thoughts while I wait for my favorite comfort drink slash coffee substitute to cool a bit.

1. Bakit ang mga sports kung saan kilalang-kilala ang mga Pilipino ay masasabing ordinaryong libangan ng mga tambay sa kanto at basagan ng mukha? Hindi naman sa minamaliit ko ang nakuhang karangalan ng mga tao sa mga larangang ito. Sobrang ikinararangal ko sila. Pero hindi ko mapigilang isipin na baka naman maaring makilala ang Pilipino sa mundo ngayon hindi lang dahil sa bilyar at boksing.

Oo, andiyan sina Eugene Torre at Elma Muros na nagbigay ng karangalan sa atin noon sa ibang larangan ng pampalakasan. Pero, kilala sila at naging maugong ang kanilang mga pangalan sa mundo NOON. Sana, magkaroon naman ng mga bagong pangalan na susunod sa mga yapak ng mga taong ito.

2. Follow-up kay number 1: Bakit kaya hindi sinusuportahan ng gobyerno natin ang sports program ng bansa?

3. Sagot sa number 2: T*ngina, simple lang sagot diyan. Puro kasi tayo utang. Edukasyon nga ninanakawan pa ng pondo, sports program pa kaya. AUTOMATIC APPROPRIATIONS ACT ampucha.

4. Sabi ni Mike Enriquez sa 24 Oras: "Gas explosion sabi ng mga imbestigador." Ang sabi ko naman: "That's bullshit." Noong nakita ko ang scale ng damage na nagawa ng pagsabog sa Glorietta, walang kibit-balikat kong naisip na C-4 ang sumabog, at militar ang may gawa nito. Tch. Hindi ko mabibigyang ebidensiya ang kuro-kuro ko. Sabihin nalang natin na may tiwala ako sa intuition ko, o siguro wala lang talaga akong tiwala sa militar. Apir, Trillanes.

5. In connection sa "That's bullshit" na sinabi ko sa number 4: Nakakagulat na hindi na ako sinasaway ng nanay at tatay ko pag nagmumura ako pag nanonood o nakikinig sa radyo ng balita.

6. Pahabol kay number 5: Well...yun ay kung hindi t*ngina, p*ta, p*t*ngina ang sasabihin ko.

7. Isa pang pahabol: At shempre, HUWAG SA HARAP ng mga iba naming kamag-anak. Wohoo. Bias ba ito. Sorry naaaa.

8. Tsk, tsk. Dapat yata i-unlearn ko muli ang pagmumura. Successful na ako eh...bumalik nga lang nang nag Compa Ana ako.

9. Pahabol kay number 8: Tsk. Sabi ko na nga ba panira ng maganda at mabuting buhay ang pag-aaral eh! HAHAHAHA.

10. Sagot kay number 9: ULOL! Shet. Magtigil. Parang statement lang ng tambay ah.

11. Teka, malamig na ata ung tsaa ko.

12. Sagot kay number 11: Hindi pa, pero kaya nang inumin. Not scalding hot anymore, are you, tea?

13. Hindi talaga ako magsasawang basahin at pagtawanan ang mga status ni Ronald Jimenez sa y!m. Haha. Peace, actionman! :)

14. Tulog na mga tao dito sa bahay at ang boyfriend ko.

15. Dapat yata ako rin.

maling akalang hindi nabigyang katuparan

2007-11-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

Yay!

DL ako for this sem...super thank you God! :)

Kala ko hindi ako aabot. Buti nalang! Nakakapraning kasi, lalo na ang Compa Ana Lab at Biostat. I was not expecting a B from these subjects...so thank God, I survived with grace!

There's one thing that I can't understand, though. Bakit C lang ako sa NSTP?
Hindi siya kasama sa computation ng QPI ko, pero c'mon..pangit tingnan sa grading sheet eh (Haha. Naman. Hanggang sa grading sheet ko lumabas ang vanity ko. YUCK.). Haha. Pero, screw it. Ayos lang, masaya narin ako at hindi ako bumagsak dun. Thank you po, Ms. Floy!

On a side note, I've been missing the drive to write anything in any of my online journals, and just to show y'all some evidence, I'm going to cut this post short.

Tch. I need an overdrive.

a few (bad) hit points

2007-10-24T19:53:00.000+08:00

BAD SCHEDULE for the second sem

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays

7.30-8.30 Psychology 101
9.00-10.00 PE 105 (MW's only)
10.30-11.30 Organic Chemistry lecture
11.30-12.30 Histology
12.30-4.30 Histology Lab (Mondays only)

Tuesdays and Thursdays
7.30-9.00 Sociology and Anthropology 21
9.00-10.30 Japanese Language and Culture 1
12.30-4.30 Organic Chemistry Lab (Tuesdays only)

I have to get up at 5.00 every freaking day so that I can leave the house by 6. And from there, travel to school for an hour and 30 minutes. BAH.

HIRAP magpalaki ng magulang.

It is so AMAZING how people do something wrong to you yet they still manage to make it LOOK LIKE YOU ARE AT FAULT in front of everybody else. But do you know what's more amazing than that? Everybody else actually BELIEVES in what that person says, even though you're the one who's hurt to begin with.

Tsk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buti nalang bukas na yung block outing.

From mae mae: This is how you butcher the English Language

2007-10-23T15:05:00.000+08:00

Mae-mae got this from the Ateneo Multiply group. Haha!

1) Ayumi
Occupation: student
Companies: rockers companies!
Hobby: chating!!
wants to meet "pretty girls!! only!! hehes!!" (Bakit kaya installment? Read this with feelings for maximum appreciation. Complete with the pauses.)

2) -GEniE Lou-
aBouT me???? (Eh kailangan pa ba namang i-reiterate na about you ito?) A persOn wHo is veRy conservative, have positive outlook in lyf, suMtyms I brEak pRomises dat can cause someone angry w/ me (Grrrrr!!! Nakakagalit talaga!) .... im very productive person... everytime i do some task or deeds i will make a plan 1st b4 i go 4 it. im very fond ! in listening 2 musizzzz im da type of person dat tells frankly (And Frankly would be... your best friend's name?)

3) jOnah-nUevE 'kikAy fOe RiL'
Companies: oN mAh hiStOry.. wYL i WAs On A mAll hOppiNg.. sUmvody GAve mE A stArstruck fOrM... HAhA! itz kinDA wEiRD.... wAtZ uP wit dAt huH? (What's up with YOU???)

4) -aNnA-
MaArtE,SEnSItive, SuPlAdITa, FRiEnDly, fAshiOnIStA, KikAy, AtTraCtiVe AnD EveRytHinG NiCE THaT Was Me!! (Was ba talaga?) MaTaLinO (ThEReS N o OnE IN THiS WoRLd hAs stUpId MiNDs) (You might want to reconsider this.) mAaRte aKo PeRo InDi AkO mAlAnDE-jUZ DOn'T EvEr jUdGe Me cOz yOu dONt mE aT AlL.... (Huh?) AND ..... YoU MuZ ReMEmBeR eVeRYtHinGs hAs a reAsONS..... DoNt ! DArE mE COz YoU DoNt knOw wHaT CaN I dO (Eh parang clueless ka din naman eh.) SoMe peopLe dOnT UnDErSTaNd WhAT Is my aTtItUde BUt dOnT JuDgE aNyOnE...... .. i pRoTeCT my fRieNdS...aNd pRoTeCt YoUrs :) (I sure will-from you.)

5) catherine joyii
Affiliations: Catholic (Bang!)

"dont lyk pipol hu r very: PLASTIKS, pa EPAL, LIARS and anything na mga BAD ATTITUDE I like hu r vry gud.... (Huh? Who?)!!! "and if u want me to ur friend, jaz aDD me uP" (Bang! Bang!)

6) alexandra rose sobida
About Her: long hair, bolding eyes (Hmm... meaning?), red lips and long life (Amen!)
Who She Wants to Meet: a spiecial boy in my hole life forever and ever (Amen ulit!)

7) maria princesa
caption ng picture: "am i look good"
Affiliations: An roman catholic
Favorite TV Shows: OPHRA (Of-ra ba kamo?)
About Her: Me......... hmmmmmm ...... simpl! e and always happy....... . i know you've get it.......... . (Actually, hindi.)
wants to meet "somebody who has a sen se of humor and simple gets" (Simple gets. Maghanap ka ng ibang kausap, 'ne!)

8) lito
Companies: wa lang. im just in the class room seating on my chair and flerting with gurls....... (Tsk, tsk. Yur a beri bud boi ah!)
TV Shows: Whos line is that? (Nabitin sa title.) and teleseryes
About him: I am a 19 year old strait guy, and i love doing creative stuff and having fun.... entering personal relationships with girls and guys even gays is okey with me as long as they are mature and responsible enough to hundle a relationship. By the way!!! (Shet. Naninigaw siya!) before, I was against bisexual relationships en even sexual intercoarses (Papel de liha daw. Magaspang eh.) between same sexes, that was me before that memorable night happen to me when i was in 4th year highschool.. .. (Sus! Baka mabasa 'to ng mga magulang mo!)

Sa inyong pagbaybay sa kanyang fantasy land (aka friendster profile-"about me" section) kung maaari lamang po'y 'wag niyong kaligtaan bigyan ng pansin ang mga sumusunod:
boardmaits
permission to my parents
inerested
desided
leaking ("Licking" 'to actually.)
niples (Hala. Kulang. Baka 1 lang din ang kanya.)
stroakign (believe me, he meant "stroking.")
saterday
apartmen
doing our staff i realizes (I DEMAND A REFAND!!!) < /div>

9) lady biolente
caption ng picture: "it's meh,panget koh d2 bat kya!!! hehehe" (Hmm... bakit nga kaya?)
Occupation: collage student (Wow. BA Collage ba 'yan? Sana nag-fine arts ka na lang para diverse tapos major in collage!)
Movie: the ant (At starring sino naman kaya?)
About her: ahm.......about meeh!!!??? ATTITUDE? kind,suplada minsan.. pro most of da tym mabait meeeh..., makulit, lagi na nka-smyl ngaun... talented pa! i can dance. i can sing....i can fly basta ba my wings, eh...he!he!he! (Feeling langaw.) OUTLOOK? syempre magand a,noh! alangan nmn laitin k ang sarili koh...height koh? 5'3'' ASSET KOH? my legs sbi nila.... taken na meehh....... ...should I say yes!? (No. Utang na loob, paki intindi ng mga pinagsusulat niya.)

10) Geneveve
Occupation: business women (Marami siguro silang may-ari ng account na 'to.)
Affili ations: business
Hobbies: watcing tv (Watsing?)
About her: beutiful and honest
wants to meet... i want ta meet people is simple only (Good luck with that.)

11) christopher
Hobbies: lapping trip (Macho dancer in da house!) ; tambay; sound trip; gumala
My Looks: punkiztah (Eh talaga bang kailangan 'to?)

12) masaaki
Affiliations: Governor (Sa bagay, puwede nga namang he's affiliated with the governor... pero mali eh...! Maliiiiii!)
Hobbies and Interests: play guitar and to be band
About Him: cOoL... taLL.... sMarT.... & mO$t oF th! aT tRuth LovEr..... (As in "mahal ang katotohanan" o "true lover" ba dapat?) ha..ha...ha. ...ha.... .ha..... eVerythiNgs' trUth (Words of wisdom from Masaaki * Palakpakan *)

13) gummibear
About Me:"im kaRReL.. iM a giRL hu oLweZ waNa b HappY buT jSt cnT b! I cAn eiTHer b sEriouS oR siLLy... liBeraTed,,fuN. .no worrieS.. iM a prActiCal woMan n I eiTHer (Baka naman "I'd rather...") Lose mY heart dAN my bRaiNS.. (So which one DID you lose? Clue naman diyan...) it'S harD 2 piCk uP d piEceS oF my liFe..,, veRy comPlicaTed. . buT noT noW.. (Ano ba talaga? Complicated ba o hindi?) i dNt bLiV iN dEsTinY iM abouT reALiTy., uR liFE iS in uR hAnds//// so uR d 1 hu coMpLicaTe iT...." (No, no, no-YOU complicate it.)

14) maricel
Occupation: looking a job (Magandang career 'yan.)
Hobbies: dancing, chatting, reading book, outting outdoors (Outting outdoors... hmm. I wonder...)
Favorite Book: The Purpose Driven in life (Ito ba talaga ang title ng aklat na ito?)
M! usic: fashions (Maaari bang bigyang linaw ninyo kung anong nagaganap dito?)

15) Breeks
Favorite Music: stay w/ cushe, the day u said gudnyt w/ hale, kahit pa w/ hale again, specialy 4 u w/ MYMP, tell me y it herts (Eh ilang kilo Hertz ba iyan?) w/ MYMP again, love moves in mysteriuos ways w/ NINA ehehehe!!!!
About Me: im a person n siryoso pro happy ksm en i dont like sa mga pipol n plastik gus2 ko ung dldl ("Daldal" pala 'to. Akala ko naman kung ano...) pro my sen ce ung cnsabi en real... im sure n mag kksundo tyo!!! Practically (Baka "basically." ) i want pretty girls but honestly i like mostly girls who are nice to accompany (Escort service ba ang hanap niyo?) and not malandi ...waaaaah i hope i cud fyn special one !!! (Lord, ang sakit na talaga ng ulo ko.)

16) Anthony
Affiliations: hardcore serial killer/frustrated assassin, computer addict (Malamang "describe yourself" ang pagkakaintindi niya dito.)
Favorite Movie: Harry Potter all the movies that were already shown and including the one's that is still being made (Wow, advanced.)
Favorite Music: alternative, rock, mellow, pop, kahit ano basta hale o cueshe ( Aba , very seasoned ah.)
About Me: im just a person who sit's silently on one corner (Yeah. And stay there.)

17) -pRettY cAng-
Favorite Music: ACOUSTIC...reggea (Huh?)

"me?? im just a si mple girl... hmmm... sometimes im othistic" (Ayuneeeee! Ops, wala akong sinabi...! It came straight right out of the proverbial horse's mouth!)

"loves 2 eat but still sexy and i carry myself very well with the way I look and the way i dress." (Why don't we just take her word for it?)

"when it comes to my character, i reflect myself as a conforming one because i have tested myself of doing things which anticipated to be done." (Tissue, please. Dumudugo ang ilong ko.)

18) SheZzO GraniTy
Hometown: AurOrA wEr CrimE iS OrGaniZeD (Ingat dito mga kapatid.) En ThA RuLe 2 FoLLoW (Is what...?)
Schools: sTa.cLarA wEr pLenTy oF mUrdErEr OccUrS (Tandaan ang paaralang ito-'wag ie-enroll ang mga bata dito.)
Affiliations: ThuG BaLLa bAbY oF kArEn rOsE
About Me: i CamE FrOm a SmaLL TowN wEr oL ThA GenGsTerS- kiLLahZ- DruG DeaLahZ- YounG bLoOdS- LiVin aLonE AnD biG TyM SinDiCaTe ArE OcCurS (Ito pala ang nuknukan... Ano ba'ng number sa police station?)

19) -lil LiZ-:
"rOcKeRz!! n pUnKz!!!! ASTIG!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" (Yeah. Sure.)

Affiliations: tEnNaGe LiFe!! (Double dead ito. Mali na, wrong spelling pa. Tsk.)
Favorite Movies: chukie 1 and 2 (Chukie? Malamang habulin ka talaga ng saksak ng manikang 'to dahil na-misspell mo yung pangalan niya.)

wants to meet "ANYONE. if ya want to know more just sen me a message!!" (Once again, no tenks.)

20) -'kEiXi'-
Hometown: nAVOetAst (In truth, NAVOTAS. Haaaay. Baketttttttttt? ????)
About Me: aqOuh?? (Hindi-ako daw...) .. cHimPle LAng.. bUT cAn maKE yUr hEAd tURn (Feel ko na nga mag-a la-Exorcist this far eh.) ,, *HoTcHiC**sEXy dAw..cHAvii nG mGAh fWEnDz qEw (Masyado kang nagpapaniwala. ...) .. sVi qEw nAMn.. mAdAnDa aqEw.. maArTE?/..sObra ** hiHi.. nDi mHEii mAarTE.. kAla nYOuh lAng yUn,, kSHi cHigURo .. yU fOUnd mE.. wEAriNg uNiqUe eAriNgs.. (So...?) USing mAkEuP.. oWeYs lOoKing mY fACe in tHE mirror.. mAarTE bAh yUN? (Hindi naman masyado)
who i want to meet: "xA aCcoUnt qEw..kHit cHiNU pwEde.. kHit ikA'y mUkhang .. tAtaNgAPEn kiTAh bsTAh bAH TEZti cOUh aAhh" (Yuneeeeeeee! !! Testimonial pala ang habol.)

21) PrEtty StEpS IV
Affiliations: vOLLeYBaLL pLaYeR, cOLLeGe sTuDeNt, pARt tiMe MoDeL (iN MAHdReaMZ) (Huy, gising!), ChEEr DanCER & UR fRiEnDLiEsT nEiGhBoR iN ToWn......!! !! ( Aba , waynat?!)

"I wud nEver faLL again fOr soMeOne he's hEad oVer heeLs wiTh (So you're into girls...?) iN Comes To A rELATIONShIP I am faiTHfuL aNd sweet I haTes aNd curSes pLayErs (Playaz beware!) I am eMoTioNaL, I lisTens to My mind buT I stiLL foLLows My heart (Gollum? Is this you?) someone U Can tRUsT On

THANK YOU FOR PATRONIZING MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT LOVE YOU ALL (Uy, artista. Love lots ba?)

22) -sTaY ovErLoaD-
Hometown: TaGuiG..ThE FLazE To bEE..MaHoGanY (Yes naman!)
Occupation: boniFiEd (na-Boni? Ano?) and cErTiFied HeavEn ringEr..aLpha MaN.. (Meaning...? )
Affiliations: aFiLL-FuLL and ThuguFuLL..ThEY r grEaT jusT 4 onE nigHT buT iM grEaT evErY nigHT!! (Something tells me that... nah... 'wag na lang. Think what you want.)

23) Jean
Companies: Schools (Puwede naman...)
Affiliations: Cristianity (Yun na!)
Who I Want to Meet: "be always respect the universal trademark clan within the highest organization" (Oh. My Gadddd. This could be the motherest of them all grand statements, don't you think?)

24) adora
Companies: companies of CUTE PERSON (Yeah. What. Ever.)
Favorite Movies: thombraider (Thom the Braider daw? Ano?)

"ME...a simple GOD creature (Right... Of course you are.) , a high climber (Feeling unggoy.) & aggressive person, i want a new clothes, books..... ( Aba . At may wishlist pa!) some of my other descriptions are---->friendly, jealousy, cute, honest..." (Just what exactly was he trying to do here again?)

"i love spaghetty" (Aaah... ako, spaghetti ang gusto ko.)

Who I Want to Meet: A CUTE PERSON..and i hate a person who has a BAD IMAGE like being ignored, finishing second, hand-me-downs, waiting, LIAR, forgetfullnes, haste, feeling ignorant, vulgarity, ugliness, being pressured, LOUD ARGUMENTS & MAKING PROMISES.. (May kaunting kaguluhan.)

25) giriz
Affiliations: Bsta Nilalang sa EarTh pro luv c God (Oh... And what do we have here?)

"i like" play badminton." (Me don't like.)

"My true name: Giriz Romanos" (At an o naman yung fake?)

"I was born: in Earth!!!" (Are you sure? Is that your final answer?)

"I dont juge the book by its cover I read it first" (Aminin nating may punto siya... pero BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA pa rin!)

26) ooohweeeh gUl
Ms. "beat mah sexxy ass if u fwakin can" (I won't even fwakin try! Man!!! WHAT does this mean???)
About Me: "im juss a simple gul wit very naughty attitudes that guys might like and love" (Guys, totoo ba 'to?)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet different pips ho can carry dir self very and has strong personality" (Haaaaay.)

27) Bhabes
Affiliations: sana magkaroon ako ng boy friend n very gentleman, and caring person at igagalang k ng 22o. (Kami siguro, igagalang niya. Ikaw... sana rin.)
Favorite Books: ..."a dauther is a forever" (A what is forever??? Hala na...)
Favorite TV Shows: amanda show, spongebob disney, rush hour 2, parents trap, freacky Friday (Parang freacky freckles ang naisip ko dito...) basta ung nakakakilig na panoorin., ung mga tpong png lovers only.ung nkakakilig (Ay ewan ko sa'yo.)

28) Jha
Favorite Music: aLL e'M oF mUsIc As SoOn ThAt It's NoT iRrITaTe Me (YOU irritate me.)
About Me: !nSan3 Of NaTuRe: I liKe aLwAyS aN aDvEnTuRe & ThriLL iN mAh LiF3 i NeVer LoSt ThAt cOz, I'm The On3 who LoOk & FiNd FoR tHat B4 k!!! rYt nOw NOTHING!!! jUsT aN oRdInARy Mhe (But still insane of nature, quite obviously.)
Who I Want to Meet: who need to talk to someone. (Is this a question? Maybe YOU need to talk to someone-at sana magkaintindihan kayo.)

29) m E d Y FULL
Favorite Books: lovHisToRy Of My SeLf by: The one who es YOu!!!!! It's mE!! (Teka, nahulog ako sa upuan ko.)
About Me: "...i'm a simple person with a simple traits... dat's ol!" (Bow. I tenk you.)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet ol of you, someone lyk you, whose fun to be with... of coarse... YOU"" (Ikaw-ikaw ang magaspang. Pareho kayo ni Contestant #8.)

30) Giselle
Hobbies: "im fun of texting ... im fun of dancin, sleeping, eating and singing and also fun of spending time with my frends" (Wow! What a FUN person you are! Ganito din ang fave books niya-"I'm fun of...")

"i want to make friends to all the pipol in the world!!! .... i want to meet pipol who is friendly and jam to be with!!" (Hayyyyy... Diyos na mahabagin!)

31) Gtonjethone
"Don't let my looks fool you! Im a EDUCATED FOOL w/ PARTIES, DISCO AND GAMES in my MIND!" (Uy! Gangsta's Paradise na combo meal! Sakto!)

"...Sometime i go further till 6 or 7am..." (Ano daw?)

"I want a long hair! (Isa lang ba talaga ang gusto mo?) So i can copy my sitmates answer w/out being seen by my teacher!" (Tsk, tsk. Principal's office na 'to.)

"I love ANEMI FANATICS like myself!" (Ang dapat sa'yo ay Hara Kiri.)

32) cOmWiZgiRL VII
"iM a siMpLe girL!prO mnSn rAkiZtA oUtfit aQ!" (Tsssssssss. Kayo ang nagpapababa ng kahulugan ng pagiging rocker.)

"Luk mtrAy at chUpLaDa dw cHAbi nG mGa kpitbhy nMin" (What's with the "ch-"? Geez.)

"d aQ mAartE!(pWerA LnG iF tiNO2pAk aQ!)" (At mukhang lagi kang tinotopak.)

wants to meet "ung mga nkanursing na uniform. (i duNnO y, maybE tHey nEat)" - (Yeah. Maybe.)

33) tEtHeN
Hobbies and Interests: cmPle Lng...bOys.. bOys...and bOys...bSta lOt oF boYs... (I leave it up to my discerning fellow readers to pass judgment on this one...)
Favorite Books: ..y U mAkE me fiL xo gAga Ba wiD yaH..!!!???! ! (Minumura na ba tayo?)

"dMIng KOng lAit sA mgA cHakA...wAhekS" (Hulaan mo kung kanino ako maraming lait... that's right!)

wants to meet someome "tO bE mY crYinG sHoulDer aNd mY stRenGht" (O, calling on all those na may crying shoulder...)

34) raceL
"its been a long time since i involved in a relationship" (I think I know why...) so pls hands off if ur just playing on me..." (Noli Me Tangere.) You can always here me sharing my opinions to others" (Here you? O baka there you? Ano ba?)

"During my past-time, i browse and browse internet..." (Adik ka!)

friends: "as long as we clicked each other's company...that' s fine with me" (Huh?)

"Some says I'm a masungit" (Ay. Dizz iz it, folks.)

35) kleeny (Hanep sa pangalan. Tamang-tama, sinisipon ako.)
Companies: Not Yet. (O 'wag daw muna! Atat ka eh.)
Favorite Books: All Books as long as there are sense about LOVE ( Sana ito ring sinabi mo na 'to may sense.)

"U will enjoy my company...I assure you 4 that" (Nako, girl! FOR THAT, featured ka dito!)

"I have a long curly Hair (Take note: isang kulot na buhok lang.) & my friends said that i have a cute Chinese eyes!!" (Naniningkit na ba kayo sa asar?)

"Want to Meet? Whoever, whatever as long as they are Good & Respected People (Politicians, perhaps?). I like a Persons who are Triple S stands for SIMPLE, SWEET & SINCERE..." (Tandaan sa darating na halalan!)

36) shanlee
Affiliations: socialization (Somebody-anybody, please start defining affiliations. Utang na loob.)

"easy to belong with specially to those people hu r nice too"

37) Maricar
Affiliations: cosmetics (This part has never ceased to amaze me.)
Hobbies and Interests: ...making friends globally (Hello, Ms Congeniality! )

"sometime I can't hide 'the child in me'." (Paki tago, please.)

"I firmly believe that 'The way to A Man's Heart is Through His Stomach' thats why i like winning my man by preparing him delicious and nutritious food." (Thank you, Dr Quack-Quack. )

Who I Want to Meet: I want him to be HIMSELF!!!!! (Sino daw? Buti 'di mo sinabing "I want to be HIMSELF!" Buti na lang talaga...)

38) jAcMuZiKaDiK- V
fave music: i DiG aLm0Zt oL KiNdZ gez m so versatile. (Uhh, yeah. Right.)

"im s0o0o0o0 REAL...thts foe meh!!" (Foe meeh, yoe not, dawg.)

"sounds COINCEITED but m not!!!" (May identity crisis ang COINCEITED na ito.)

"i dnt have d ASS( w/c most of d guyz dig n2)..." (Shet! Dig INTO?! Arayyyyyyyy! !!)

39) JeAn
"my friend call me roni for short bu! t to make it long call me roni-jean" (Pahabain pa ba natin ang usapan?)

she "can be please easily" & "know how to deal wth diff.type of person (even d tambay i can deal wth dem)" ( Aba , tignan niyo nga naman!)

"vulgar...i can say wt i wnt....even its not gud in ur ear..." (Now look what you've done! Kanina ilong lang... now my ears are bleeding too!!! Huhuhu!)

40) Collen May
"I am Ms. Personality and Ms. Congeniality (Ibig sabihin, hindi daw siya kagandahan.) daw with long black straight hair and morena. I am friendly in school (especially with the teachers- (Kailangan eh...ops! Hindi sipsip-friendship lang ito.) ) and even the alumni people!!! Kasi some of them are my neighbors."

"I love wearing and accesorizing clothes to make myself beautiful... :-) (Nag-work naman ba?) hello...joke lang po! They say i walk like a model or just pretending to walk like one but its the way i walk, really it's the truth and nothing but! (O ha?! O ha?!)"

41) Daryl
"me?? im ayl hndi mganda pro SEXY!hehehe. .! pangit pro MATALINO. Hndi kgandahan pro MABAIT..." (Ipinagdiinang pangit siya. What can I say?)

42) Aaron
"Ahhhhhhmmmmm! !!!! Just add me to your friend.... (Uhh... sige. Kanino mo gusto?) If you really wanna know about mee (No, I really don't.)!!!!!, but just an impression, im not gonna be what you expect" (Oh really? Try me.)

43) wilmar
"im a true freind that im willing to fight my friends (Panigurado, pala-away ang batang ito.) , sometimes she can be rude if you want to and she really hates plastic person (What did I miss? Who's "she?"). im prank very prank (You're a joke, that's for sure.) and if i hates i tell it to them para hinde nila masabi na im so beas." (Do you think he (or she-whatever) means "bias" here? Whatchuguystink? )

44) tThHaaALyN
Affiliations: meeting different ki nd of people...=> those people who I can easily asses myself with...=D (This is too much for my kokote.)
Hobbies and Interests: people who's fun to be with ! and interesting. .....have mood swings too...wen provoked!! im a different type of girl... not the one that u always encounter wid!! (Nadapa pa. Dinagdagan pa kasi ng "with" eh. Tsk, tsk.)

"want 2 mit?? well does people who's please to mit me 2!!!" (Sabog na ulo ko.)

45) Princess
Affiliations: im friendly and everything:) (Huhuhu... why, God???)

"im fund of music... ("Fund" naman ang drama nito, hindi na "fun" (see Contestant #30). Mukhang mayaman!) i want to... build a Europian school here in the Philippines " (Mayaman nga 'ata...)

Who I Want To Meet: "im open for all..." (Feeling Ministop.)

46) 'marlaX'
"mah hair s quite long a nd sleek wit a bang" (Medyo nahuli, pero happy new year pa rin!)

"i hv ds pierce on mah upper left ear" (On yawh uppah left eah ba? Tigazzzzz!)

"kaya pls lng wlang poporma at wag mgbalak manligaw dto!" (Hint, hint! Mag-reverse psychology ba?)

47) Jas
Motto: If there's a will, There's a will... (Haaay. Been there been that.)
Favorite Day: Everyday (Sa bagay, 7 lang naman ang araw sa isang lingo...)

J - jesus*
A - almighty*
S - savior*

* (What the...?!?!? Can't we just leave Jesus out of this? Geez...)

48) Arvie Jan
"ako ang nag-inspired kay Boy Abunda sa fassion." (Ows?)

"because relationship comes and go but friendship is forever!!! ininglish pa yun!!!" ( Aba . Proud pa siya.)

49) Joel
all of you are welcome in my friendster.. . even if you are a girl,boy,lesbian, gay,hunk, or naugthy...or either you are a bisexual or trisexual... (Wow. Lahat tanggap niya. Kamon let's join us!)

50) beware
"so kung feel mo akong maging friend, take the risk! face all the hardships and danger... hu knows? baka dun mo makita ang kasiyahan na hindi mo pa nadarama sa buhay mo.." (Hmm... do you think this is a threat?)

51) riechell
"mahilig sumali sa contest at pagent at nag-hahakot ng awards tulad ng sports wear at specially ang miss. photogenic" (Check out her picture)

things that I'm most thankful for

2007-10-20T02:10:00.000+08:00

A list of things I'm really thankful for

1. I actually grew by almost an inch. Yeah, no shit! Buti nalang hindi pa sarado growth plate ko kahit 18 na ako. Yehes. Sana tumangkad pa ako!

2. My parents actually permitted me to go to our block's outing this coming October 25th, WITHOUT ANY ARGUMENTS! Naawa na siguro sakin sina mama. Haha. Fontana, here I come! Yehey!

3. Jericho's going with me to our block outing. My baby love is not so shy around my blockmates anymore! Yay! :)

4. I got a B+ tentative final grade in Theo. Wow kung wow ito. I survived Rosar with grace, baby! haha.

5. Jericho got a B+ in Marketing, and a B in his OpMan long test 4! All his hard work really paid off! Good job, bebe! :) Magis na ito! Hehe.

6. My abs are actually coming back! Haha! Sinisipag na akong mag crunches uli eh. Though they're not as nice as my high school abs, when I had time to do 200 crunches (100 sa umaga, 100 bago matulog) a day. Bah. Please God, bring back my old high school days and abs! Huhu.

7. I'm eating now and I'm actually less depressed about it. Jericho therapy absolutely works :) Thanks and much love, beb. :)

8. 8 for 8 months. Today is Miles and Jericho's 8th monthsary :)

9. Tea. Tea is absolutely better than coffee. Thank you for lifting my coffee addiction, Lipton.

10. Broadband internet. Sa wakas! We just had this installed two months ago, and we are absolutely LOVING IT! haha. Ito ang dahilan kaya bigla akong sinipag mag-post sa multiply ng pics and stuff, magdownload sa Limewire at maglaro ng Ragna. Speed is delicious :)

11. The rediscovery of the joys of cleaning my study table. It's really fun to see your old quizzes, papers, readings and etc's of the past sem. Really brings back memories of the fun and joys, and of course, the ordeals and hurdles.

12. The rediscovery of the wonders of the landline. Since texting people sometimes can get boring and sometimes saddening, hearing voices over the phoneline can be a fresh whiff of cologne and a warm comfort.

13. The rediscovery of the wonders of staying up late for nothing. Multiply, blogging, news reading, watching different shows via streaming video, Ragnarok online. Need I say more?

14. The realization that I miss the busy blood that has been running through my veins throughout the sem. This is actually weird. I actually miss school work! Shit. Haha.

15. Olay Total Effects+ facial moisturizer.

~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sure this list won't end here, because God is always here. Thank you God, for your love and for everything. I love you.

because I'm bored

2007-10-14T10:06:00.000+08:00

So let's see, how much have I changed in a span of six years?

Six years ago

1.) How old were you?
- 12 y/o

2.) Where did you go to school?:
- School of the Holy Spirit of Quezon City

3) Where did you work?
- If you consider elementary school work, then SHS is the place.

4.) Where did you live?
- Greenview

5.) Where did you hang out?:
- School-bahay kid ako nun.

6 .) Did you wear glasses?
- Nope.

7.) Who was your best friend?
- Diane Lee.

8.) How many tattoos did you have?
- None.

9.) How many piercings did you have?
- Just two. One for each ear.

10.) What car did you drive?
- Arcade cars. haha. dito nadiskubre ng tatay ko na someday magiging kaskasera ako.

11.) Had you been to a real party?
- Real kiddie birthday parties? of course.

12 .) Had You had your heart broken?
- Yeah. When my mom scolded me for getting an 89 in a test.

13.) Single/Taken/Married /Divorced?
- Single.

3 years ago

1.) How old were you?
-15

2. ) Where did you go to school?:
- Quezon City Science High School.

3.)Where did you work?
- Well, high school was work, I guess.

4.) Where did you live?
- Greenview parin.

5.) Where did you hang out?
- school-bahay kid parin ako. Pero medyo lumawak na options ko...may kalayaan na akong mag-commute, tsaka may SM north at McDo carpark na kasi.

6 .) Did you wear glasses?
- Yes. But I took them off occasionally.

7.) Who were your best friend(s)?
- Erica, Grace, Carla, Bricci

8.) How many tattoos did you have?
- None. But it was the first time I thought that someday, I'm going to have one.

9 . ) How many piercings did you have?
- still one for each ear, but it was also the first time that I thought of adding another for each ear.

1 0) What car did you drive?
- None. But it was the time I learned how to drive.

11) Had your heart broken?
- Didn't care then.

12) Single/Taken/Married /Divorced:
- Single and very happy! haha.

13. ) Any Kids?
- Biological? None. Pero may mga friends ako na mommy ang tawag sakin noon...sina Maylea at Albert :)

Today

1.) How old are you?
-18

2. ) Where do you work?
- yeah, college is work.

3.) Where do you live?
- Greenview parin.

4 .) Do you wear glasses?
- Yes. But I wear contact lenses when I go out.

5) Who are your close friends?
- Too many.

6.) Do you talk to your old friends?
- Of course!

7) How many piercings do you have?
- still 2.

8 . ) How many tattoos?
- still none.

9.) What kind of car do you have?
- none. But considering the long commute I endure every single day, I would love to drive one now.

10.) Has your heart been broken?
- Yes.

11) Single/Taken/Married /Divorced:
- Taken.

12.) Any Kids?
- None.

Isang pagbabaliktanaw

2007-10-12T18:54:00.000+08:00

SEMBREAK!!
Tapos na ang first sem! Pero bago tayo mag-move on, balikan natin ang mga naganap ng semestreng nagdaan.

~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Dance Aerobics, PE 102 (7-00-8.00 am, MW), Ms. R. Clemente
Ang masasabi ko lang...WRONG DECISION ang kumuha ng SOBRANG AGANG PE! Kamuntikan na akong ma-overcut dahil sa sobrang aga niya. So in other words, pahirap `tong subject na to. Masaya siya dahil sumasayaw ka at papayat ka, tsaka mabait naman si Ms. Clemente. Pero...hindi mapapantayan ng benefits ang kalbaryong naranasan ko. Che.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Fun abwork with the aeroballs
Culminating activity - Hindi kami nagkamali ni minsan sa routine! Yehes!

LOWLIGHTS:

Midterms
Finals - When every damn CD we burned did not play on Ms. Clemente's player. boo.
Most importantly: waking up at 4 am every MW para hindi na ako ma-late. Bah.

2. Introduction to Doing Catholic Theology, Theology 121 (8.30-9.30 am, MWF), Mr. Rosar Crisostomo
First theology subject in my four-year stay in the Ateneo. Hindi ko alam ang aasahan sa subject na ito dahil una, hindi ako Katoliko. Pangalawa, teacher ni Jericho noon si Sir Crisostomo at sinabi niya sakin na siya lang ang tama sa klase niya. Nakow. Nakinikinita ko na na magkakaproblema ako sa subject niya, dahil una, debater ako; sasagot at sasagot ako. Pangalawa, iba ang line of thinking ko, at nakakatakot kasi baka iba kami ng wavelength, at yun ang ikabagsak ko. Sa subject na to ko rin naranasan ang unang pabigkas na pagsusulit (oral exam) ko sa buong buhay ko sa Ateneo at maging sobrang jubilant nang makakuha ako 2 points sa isang 5-point quiz. Not many may agree with me, but I'm not shy to say this: I'm looking forward sa mga susunod na theology subjects ko dahil magandang jumpstart si Sir Rosar! Haha. Si Father Dacanay naman! :)

HIGHLIGHTS:

Midterms - isa ako sa mga kaunting mataas ang nakuha dito. Tuwang tuwa ako kasi maganda ang score ko sa essay part! Akala ko talaga kasi ibabagsak ko na yun. Naperfect ko ung isa, one mistake ung isa. Zero nga lang ung pangatlo kasi naubusan ako ng oras. Boo. Thank God talaga!
Everytime mag-rerecite ako at i-aacknowledge ni Sir ang sagot ko na tama at mag-aagree pa siya sa akin. Whew.
Oral exam - sobrang nakabase sa akala ang mga pangyayaring pumapaligid sa orals ko. Una, akala ko late ako, pero sakto lang pala ang dating ko. Nakalimutan kong advance pala ng sampung minuto ung relo ko. Haha. Pangalawa, akala ko plain nonsense at gibberish ang mga pinagsasasabi ko habang nakatingin siya sa bintana. Pero it seems that I made sense, and out of that sense I made, he gave me a 3 out of 4. Yehes! Thank God!
Finals - masaya ako kasi isa ako sa highest (sa class E) sa first part ng exam (multiple choice). Buti nalang assured na ako of a non-failing mark. :)

LOWLIGHTS:

Quizzes. `Nuff said.
Napagalitan niya ako minsan. Haha. Dahil dun, natakot na talaga ako mag-recite sa kanya. It took me three times the effort to raise my hand and recite ever since.

3. Comaparative Vertebrate Anatomy Lec and Lab, Bi 21 and Bi 21.1 (MWF 11.30-12.30, Th 1.30-5.30), Ms. Else Dapat
Bio major. Sabi nga ng mga upper classman friends ko, simula na ito ng kalbaryo. Isa ito sa mga pinakamahihirap na majors ng isang Bio person. True enough, mahirap nga talaga siya. Marami din akong napagdaanan dito.

LEC: Sa schedule palang ng lecture hirap na ako noon kasi 12.30-1.30 siya sa CTC 105. Katumbas ng kuwartong iyon ang dalawang classroom at NAPUNO NAMIN YUN. Patayan kung patayan ang pakikinig sa kawawa naming guro na hirap na hirap kasi ang laki masyado ng klase namin. Reflected sa performance ko ang hirap sa pakikinig sa lecture ni Ms. Else. Buti na lamang at nahati ang klase namin. I opted to move to the 11.30-12.30 slot. Napansin namin ang mga pagbabago sa aming performance at siyempre sa disposition ni Ma'am. Mas ganado at mas masaya na siya magturo. Less pressure sa kanya. So lumalabas, parang beauty secret ni Miss Else ang paghahati namin ng class. Haha.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Fun and interesting lectures.
Good test scores. :)
Fun conversations with Ms. Else.

LOWLIGHTS:

Very big class volume at the start of the sem. It meant I had to go to class 20 minutes earlier just to secure a good seat in the room. Bah.
MEMORIZATION! @#$%^&%*&*()&^*. `Nuff said.

LAB: Pusa. Masaya mag-dissect ng pusa. Cool makita ng mga internal organs niya. Dito ko rin naranasang magbukas ng pusang buntis at makita na ang bipartite na uteri niya ay may lamang full-grown na kuting.

HIGHLIGHTS:

LOWLIGHTS:

Departmental ang exam. Boo.
MEMORIZATION! @#$%&^^&*(#$*&%$(!!

4. Asian History, History 16 (1.30-2.30, MWF), Ms. Stephanie Coo
One of the subjects I look forward to every MWF. I'm glad that I took Ms. Stephanie Coo as my teacher. This subject is memorable because of Ms. Coo's outfits, newfound famous (haha) friends and of course, doing things I never thought that I'd do (like acting. haha).

HIGHLIGHTS:

Dinner at the Philippine Stock Exchange Plaza with Ms. Coo, Sheena, Nyko, Jan, Chris and Ceejay.
our great play (Children of Fortune)!
Made friends with famous people (Chris Tiu). hahaha. sorry, I just had to say this.
Finals Exemption!

LOWLIGHTS:

Days when I cut class because I'm too lazy to walk all the way to CTC 308. Everybody experiences this. Bah.

5. General Chemistry II Lec and Lab, Chem 11 and Chem 11.1 (9.00-10.30, T-TH, 1.30-5.30,T)- Ms. Mailyn Terrado and Ms. Giselle Pacot
These subjects made me think about shifting to chem. But, nah. I'm happy with my course. Masaya maghalo ng kemikal! Bonding time din with blockmates ang chem lab. :)

HIGHLIGHTS:

LEC

Interesting lectures.
Bait ni Ms. Terrado!
Exemption sa finals! :)

LAB

Fun experiments!
Bait ni Ms. Pacot! :)

LOWLIGHTS:

LEC

Difficult exams T.T

LAB

Lazy days. May mga time talaga na nakakatamad maghalo ng kemikal at magcalibrate ng kung anu-ano.

6. Biostatistics, Bi101 (12.00-1.30 T-TH), Mr. Crisanto Lopez
Stat=Math. Ayyy, grabe. Mahirap, pero masasabi kong nakasurvive ako with grace.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Natutuhan kong may ibang function pala ang MS Excel! hahaha.
May natutunan ako! haha.

LOWLIGHTS:

Nakakafrustrate. T.T
Mahirap! @#$%^$%&%*%!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Haaay.

Thank you, mama, papa sa encouragements at sa pagsundo niyo sa akin pag late na ako uuwi. :) Thank you, blockmates sa pagdamay niyo sa mga glory at breakdown moments ko. Much love to you all!

Thank you, Jericho for encouraging me always. Salamat at sinasamahan mo ko mag-aral sa Matteo kahit bored ka na. Salamat din sa mga yakap at halik mo...sobrang laking tulong. Thank you at hinayaan mo akong mag-break down at umiyak sayo pag sobrang nahihirapan at down ako with frustration. We did great this sem, love! :) Let's keep up the good work! Magis na to! haha. :)

Maraming salamat, Jesus, at hindi niya ako pinabayaan sa sem na to. Salamat po sa guidance and help! :) Thanks for giving me hope and the people around me. I love you, Lord!

This was a great semester.
Now, what will I do for the sembreak? :)

tch.

2007-10-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

ONE WORD: waley.

Ewan ko. Parang ang gulo ng mundo ko.

Ang moody ko masyado.
I crave for people's company (to an extent that's too much, I think).
I'm too silent.
I'm too noisy.
I'm too lazy.
I'm overenthusiastic.

ANG GULO.

congratulations!

2007-09-26T20:17:00.000+08:00

After weeks of tedious brainstorming and writing, four days of rigorous practice and hours of laughter and fun, we have finally presented our play for History 16 entitled "Children of Fortune" hours ago (1.30-2.30 pm) in the Gonzaga Exhibit Hall!

Thank you's to the people who helped us with this---the extras and the techie teams.

Congrats Aly, Sheens, Cara, Alfonso, Sam, Amante, Jan, Nina, Rap, Chris, Tot and Ben! Job well done, guys! :)

For pictures: my multiply.

oh yeah!

2007-09-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

To all ateneans! One big fight!
Laughtrip pero ayos!
---------------------------------
(Background Music)
We stand on a hill
Between the earth and sky
- "Song For Mary," Fr. James Rueter SJ

Chapter One: Before The Storm

Fr. Bienvenido Nebres SJ was just finishing the day's work when Harry Potter, a senior of the Ateneo de Manila, burst into his office.

"Fr Nebres!" Harry shouted

"Harry!" a surprised Nebres said. "I thought you were out of school destroying the horcruxes to kill Lord Voldemort."

"That's what I wanted to tell you. I discovered that there are two horcruxes here in Ateneo itself. Voldemort has enlisted the help of the De La Salle University and the University of Santo Tomas. They are coming."

"Don't worry, Harry." Nebres said "You know for a fact that Ateneo-- its teachers and students -- are more than capable of defending our Loyola campus. We will hold them off while you search for the horcruxes and destroy them. You will need this." He waved of his wand and out of the air appeared a sword. "The sword of St. Ignatius." Nebres said. "Powerful enough to destroy the two horcruxes."

"Thank you, Father" Harry said. And with that, he sped off to find the last two things which protect Lord Voldemort.

Nebres then waved his wand once more and this time, four people appeared in his office. "Marlu, Rudy, Toby and Joey. The school is in danger"

Nebres then explained the situation to the four Deans of the Ateneo de Manila University.

"I want you to assemble all remaining students in the college covered courts. We must evacuate the freshmen through Marikina. The sophomore, junior and senior students may stay and fight if they want to. Next, I need you to assemble all the teachers, both part time and full time."

Without a word, the four deans Disapparated and went on with their tasks. Nebres too Disapparated back to the Jesuit Residence and briefed the Society about the impending attack.

Fr. Adolfo Dacanay was the assigned to lead the Jesuits to battle "My team is ready to fight anytime anywhere. We will crush them!"

"Excellent." Nebres said

After a few minutes, Nebres, the four Deans and some members of the faculty and administration gathered in Xavier Hall to discuss the battle plan.

"The School of Humanities can summon mythical creatures to help defend us." Marlu Vilches said "The English Department professors are summoning creatures from Dante's Inferno and Greek Mythology as we speak. The Filipino Department is summoning all the manananggals and white ladies from the haunted trees on campus"

"The Philosophy Department" interjected Fr. Ferriols "is summoning creatures from Meron pond right now. Those rascals will soon feel the wrath of Meron! Magiging WALA silang lahat! Konsepto lamang sila!"

"Now is the time to test the newest chemicals and inventions from our SEC laboratories." Toby Dayrit said, "The Department of Environmental Science professors are enchanting the trees to life right now. We will purge them with the help of Mother Nature."

"I have just received a call from MVP" Rudy Ang said "Reinforcements from Makati are coming soon."

"My apples and sunshine are ready to fight as well" Tim Gabuna said. "Go CERSA!"

"I have just finished briefing my school. The Department of History is ready to fight. The Western history professors led by Dave Lozada and JoEd Tirol are summoning the three hundred Spartans and soldiers from the World War II to fight. Fr Bulatao and the Department of Psychology are locked inside the SocSci Conference room right now. They will use their psychic powers to toy with our enemy's mind."

"I have roused the athletes also." Norman Black beside Ricky Palou said. "They are ready to put up One Big Fight with their super strength."

A voice interrupted them. "I KNOW YOU ARE PREPARING TO FIGHT! You are no match for us! I have allied myself with the La Salle brothers and the Dominicans of UST. You cannot win against me, Jesuits. Push the limit! Animo Spirit! Give us Harry Potter and the sword of St. Ignatius and we will let you live! We will even let you win some of the games."

Chapter Two: More Help

The Ateneans ignored the warning and instead began to prepare for the impending battle. A few minutes later, the voice shouted for a second time:

"I can see you are not listening! It is such a pity. What happened to your Prayer for Generosity? Give me Harry Potter and the Sword of St Ignatius. Give without counting the cost, you always say! You have until midnight. I also call on all students of La Salle Greenhills and La Salle Zobel. It is not too late. Come and join us. Convert! Repent!"

Fr. Dacanay, interrupting his briefing with his exorcists turned and said "The idiot is taking the prayer out of context. Besides, St Ignatius also said to fight without fear of being wounded. And we will do just that."

Three figures -- two women and a man -- suddenly appeared. "We are from the Department of Sociology and Anthropology" said the man.

"Ricky Abad!" Fr. Nebres exclaimed.

"I brought with me our Department Chair Bopeep Saloma-Akpedonu. And this is Czarina Medina, one of our newest lecturers. We apologize for being late. We were preparing our I-bombs."

"I-bombs? What are I-bombs?" Nebres asked.

"Ideology bombs. Once they detonate, they will spread false consciousness in the area -- the La Salle brothers and the Tomasians will think they are winning. It is all false really. We will use their pride against them."

"Excellent. Excellent." Nebres said. "And here comes Andrew Ty and Mark Escaler for the Department of Communication."

"Yes!" Escaler said "we will infiltrate their communication processes by adding "noise" and ambiguity between the message relay of the sender and the receiver so orders can be reversed and thwarted!"

"The creatures from my horror films are coming!" Andrew Ty said. "We will use them to our advantage!"

"Father President! Some people are coming!" somebody shouted.

Some five hundred people then Apparated out of nowhere. Wearing either red or white shirts, they marched towards Nebres. A young man then stepped forward.

"We are from the University of the Philippines." said the young man. "For years, our academic communities have built a strong relationship with each other. We have shared professors. We went to rallies together. We have had our differences. Yes. But in the end, our similarities and accomplishments outweigh our differences... We are here to help! We are honored to fight with Ateneo once more!"

Cheers and applause errupted from all sides.

"Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baba from the hill" the Ateneans cheered

Five minutes to midnight.

The School of Humanities stood with their mythical creatures summoned from the Classics, and the haunted trees and the gigantic swamp creatues from the Meron pond.

The John Gokongwei School of Management with their reinforcements from Makati, along with Venus Ibarra, Ricky Pilar and other professors.

The School of Science and Engineering with their mysterious inventions and weapons. The gigantic trees in the campus now walking sluggishly by their side.

The School of Social Sciences with their unique yet powerful defensive weapons; the Psychology Department ready for the psy-war.

The Ateneo Professional Schools ready to defend their Loyola-based counterparts; the two fraternities in the Law School forging a temporary alliance.

The Alumni, the D.A. (Dalandan's Army), led by Benjie Laza and Mon Cualoping.

The statues of Tomas More, Horacio dela Costa, the Blue Eagle come to life.

The students from U.P.

Two horcruxes left.

Now all is still, where Loyola's colors fly.

Chapter Three: One Big Fight

Midnight.

There was a burst of light emanating from the sky, brighter than the moon and the stars. What seemed like a horde of fireflies turned out to be arrows. Thousands of arrows. Tips on fire.

The arrows struck the Blue Eagle Gym. The oldest building in the University. The symbol of their athletic pride. Now aflame.

Toby Dayrit tossed a beaker of water to the burning building. He pointed his wand at the beaker now mid-air and shouted his spell "Magis." The water transformed into a surf huge enough to douse the fire. The Blue Eagle Gym was safe.

The archers outside roared their disappointment. But they shot again, this time targeting the Erenchun soccer field where some of the Ateneans were camped. Nebres pointed his wand at the arrows raining from the sky and shouted his incantation "Cura personalis" and the thousand arrows turned into bubbles.

The Ateneans cheered. The first two attacks of the LaSallians and the Tomasians have been thwarted.

"You have had your fun, Ateneans." a voice boomed. "Now it is time to get serious."

Darkness suddenly enveloped the University. The enemy had sabotaged their electricity. Immediately all the Ateneans took out and flickered their wands, "Lux in Domino" they chanted. Light emanated from all the wands.

The illumination came just in time as suddenly a stampede crushed the fences between Gate 2 and Gate 2.5. The Ateneans have realized the magnitude of their danger: it was not just the LaSallians or even just the Tomasians they were confronting; the other schools were there as well. A thousand green archers were riding the backs of the giant tigers of UST. Charging with them were the giant tamaraws and a hundred warriors whose bodies were painted red war paint. Above, falcons were soaring in the sky.

"YOU FOUL THINGS, noh?" somebody from the Ateneo crowd shouted, charging at the stampede; it was Tessa Rosana "How dare you attack us, noh? You don't know who you are dealing with, noh? TAKE THIS, noh?" She hit her gong with all her might. A powerful sound wave spread throughout the area knocking a hundred archers and animals out.

"Haha anoh?" she triumphantly yelled.

And so the other Ateneans started counterattacking as well. David Lozada and his 300 Spartans. The ROTC cadets. The mythical creatures of the School of Humanities. Dalandan's Army.

Ricky Abad and the Department of Sociology soon deployed their Ideology Bombs prompting some of the LaSallians to cheer instead of fighting. They cheered, "strawberry shortcake nananananana." instead of "Recticano! Recticano". This allowed some of the Ateneans to easily knock the LaSallians out.

Somewhere near the Covered Courts, Norman Black was briefing his team, "Nonoy. I want you here. Chris, here. Jai, there. Alright? Any questions."

"Aaaaah! GOD DAMN IT!" a raspy voice screamed. It was Joe Lipa, former coach of the Blue Eagles, who arrived with the contingent from UP. "Just charge! Attack them! Now!" And so they did.

The LaSalle brothers and Francisco of UST were outside, watching the battle, waiting for their turn to strike.

A handful of LaSallians were found trotting back to their base.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Francisco yelled.

"You told us to retreat!" the archer said.

"You idiot! That's just Escaler and Bulatao toying with your minds! Go back! That's it! I am joining the battle!"

She then stepped forward lifted her two arms and shouted "Tiger Power! Raar! Tiger Power! Raar!" The LaSalle brothers thought she had lost her mind. But then she suddenly transformed into a giant tigress, twice larger and fiercer than the ordinary tigers. Seeing their comrade ready and willing to fight, the LaSallians cheered.

"HOY!" Goldie the Tiger roared "NO CHEERING DURING BATTLE! NO CHEERING!" Then she advanced.

Her first target was Fr. Dacanay who was busy exorcising some of the archers and paralyzing them.

"FATHER! Behind you!"

Quickly, Dacanay whirled and performed his own counterattack "Expellus Inferius" blasting her into the middle of the Erenchun field, knocking her out.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" The La Salle brothers shouted upon seeing their comrade down. "It is time we even the score."

The earth began to quake. And out of the night came a gigantic robot. It was DLRT; the LaSallians had transformed and brought the LRT-1 which passed Taft Avenue into a robot.

DLRT was making quick work of the Ateneans and their creatures-- crushing the mythical creatures here and there, tossing the trees brought to life by the Department of Environmental Science.

"Let us not lose hope!" Nebres said. "We are after all committed to hope."

"Now is not the time to talk about GK, Father!" somebody said.

"I am not talking about GK. I am talking about SECtor."

He pointed his wand the Science Education Complex. The building shook and assembled itself into a robot. SEC A was the head and the torso. SEC B became the left arm and leg and SEC-C became the right.

"Mang Freddie!" Nebres called.

"I am ready, Father!" shouted Freddie the man in charge of Escaler Hall which has now become the control room SECtor.

"Attack, Freddie! One Big Fight."

DLRT was no match and quickly collapsed under the strength of SECtor.

"Fr Nebres!" Harry Potter appeared. "Two horcruxes have been destroyed!"

"Animo La Salle!" "Animo La Salle!" "Animo La Salle!"

There were screams of terror. The LaSalle brothers had entered the battle. They were using their most dangerous spell: The Animo LaSalle â€" the Killing Curse!

Finale: The Animo Wand

Ateneans were dropping dead left and right. The Animo La Salle curse was unblockable. Some of the more veteran teachers provided extra defense and protection to the students but most of their efforts were futile.

Dacanay and his Jesuit team however managed to stun a few archers.

Victory however seemed far-fetched. Francisco had been revived from the Stunning Spell by Dacanay. Back in human form, she was battling Jai Reyes, Kirk Long and Chris Tiu at the same time. While the players were certainly skillful, Francisco was able to block all spells launched by the Blue Eagles.

Francisco pointed her wand at Chris Tiu and shouted "Animo La Salle!" But the curse missed him by an inch.

"Not Chris Tiu you BIATCH!" somebody shouted; it was Achoot Cuyegkeng. "Out of my way! Out of my way! FRANCISO'S MINE!"

Francisco laughed. " You are no match for me! I am the greatest servant of the Dominicans! What's gonna happen to your Loyola Schools after I kill you?! What's gonna happen to your Blue Eagles after I kill Chrissy?"

"You will never touch any of our students again!!" Cuyegkeng said.

Francisco laughed. And with her unerring skill as jack-of-all-trades professor Cuygekeng sent a Stunning Curse at her opponent. The curse hit her squarely on the chest, knocking her out once more.

"Enough!" Harry shouted. "Voldemort! Where are you? You have been using the LaSallians and the other schools to come after me. Where are you?"

"I am here, Potter." a voice hissed. The voice came from Bro. Armin.

"Brother Armin?"

"No! I am Voldemort! Armin is my past, present and future. See?" he wrote the word Armind then with a flicker of his wand the word became Voldemort.

"I don't get it." Harry said

"Ako rin!" an Atenean said.

"Ha? Can you make ulit?" another one shouted.

"How did Armin became Voldemort?"

"Bai, nalibog na ko!" A Cebuano Atenean shouted.

"Bah! Never mind! Anyone knows the LaSallians can't spell. So anyway, I stunned Armin a few days ago and using his name and face I used the school and all the other schools to come and find you!"

"But you are too late. I destroyed all the horcruxes"

"No, Potter. I win. You see, while I was Bro. Armind. I was able to find the long lost and most powerful wand in the entire world-- the Animo Wand! And you will be its first victim!"

"Are you kidding me, Tom?" Harry said "Don't you get it? The wand chooses the school. The Animo wand does not belong to La Salle! It belongs to the Ateneo."

"No! You are the fool! The LaSallians have been cheering Animo La Salle for such a long time. The LaSallians truly own the wand and since I am a LaSallian for now, I own it. Die Potter die!"

"But you see, Riddle, you did not review University histories. If you did, you would know that the Ateneans used Animo Ateneo first. And they still use it now. There is even a website right now named AnimoAteneo.com . The Ateneans have reclaimed Animo Ateneo!"

Silence.

"So. It comes down to this isn't it?" Harry whispered "Does your wand know that its original owner still values it? If it does, I AM THE TRUE MASTER OF THE ANIMO WAND!"

Voldemort points his wand at Harry who in turn has prepared for the final duel.

"ANIMO LA SALLE!" Voldemort shouted.

"OH! GET. THAT. WAND!" Harry shouted.

The curse rebounded and hit Voldemort instead of Harry who caught the Animo Wand with his other hand. Cheers from the Ateneans and even some La Sallians, who realized that they were duped were all around.

That morning both Ateneo and La Salle forged a cease fire, a temporary one because the next day was the Ateneo-La Salle basketball championship. Francisco who was revived after hours of being stunned by Dacanay and Cuyegkeng decided to lift the "No Cheering!" rule during time out. However, she still flinches whenever Dacanay (or any Jesuit for that matter) would approach her.

There were however, a group of La Sallians who disagreed with having a cease fire. They believed that the death and defeat of Voldemort was unfair so they decided to file a protest. This was later junked due to lack of merit.

Epilogue. Nineteen years later.

It was the day of the ACET.

Harry Potter was accompanying his son Ben.

"Dad! What if I fail the ACET and end up in DLSU?"

Harry looked at his son and said "Bienvenido Adolfo! You were named after two of the most powerful Jesuits in the country. One of them is a good friend of ours. In fact he was the one who officiated our marriage."

"But... but... so what if I DO fail the ACET and end up in DLSU?"

Eh di bobo ka talaga! Harry thought. But he didn't say that. "But we will still love you as our son!" Harry said. "Alright. Your test starts in a few minutes. Make us proud. One Big Fight."

Happy 19th birthday, boyps! hehe.

2007-09-24T00:01:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to you, my baby.
sarangheyo.

lovers' poem

2007-09-23T09:23:00.000+08:00

Nothingness was incurred
the moment
that we knew
we were swimming
in the dark waters of uncertainty.

We partook of the murky waters
when we defied the high ones
and took it our way.
Consolation was at hand
when we held each other above reason.

But do you realize that

You have me bound
and scared stiff
of what you might do
or not do
when my soul bleeds out
nothingness into the earth?

radically idiotic

2007-09-21T06:55:00.001+08:00

I was terribly in the need to urinate when I went up to SEC B third floor for my compa ana lab class, so after I placed my bag inside the room, I immediately ran to the comfort room at the end of the corridor. Unfortunately, it was locked, so I had to prolong the agony of my distended bladder. I ran down two flights of stairs to the second floor, and immediately went inside the comfort room. I automatically went for the first cubicle from the sinks (it's my habit to go for the cubicle nearest to the door in every bathroom, because by experience, it's always the cleanest), but it was in use, so was the one next to it. So I charged to the third one.

This is what I immediately saw upon entering the cubicle. I found it weird and a bit freaky, but because my bladder was like a water balloon being thrown around, I took no heed and immediately unfastened my pants and sat down like a princess. I'll deal with it after my distended bladder would resume its empty state. When I was finished with my business, I saw something in the corner of my eye. I turned my head to the right wall of my cubicle and what I saw nearly made me fall off the toilet seat.

I know it sounds stupid, but it scared me shitless (no pun intended. I was there to urinate, remember?). The first thing I saw was the handprint, and in my head, I was expecting to see a bloody white-clad girl looking at me above the cubicle next. My initial shock dissipated when I was able to digest the writings with the handprint.

The Ateneo administration is going implement a dress code policy/guideline effective this summer, and this sudden implementation generated a lot of comments---ranging from quiet protests and curses to outrageous cussing and debates among students---especially from those whose 'uniforms' to school constituted of flip-flops, tank and sleeveless tops, tops with plunging necklines and backlines (if there is such a term) and shorts.

For students it was irrational, and it doesn't affect our learning in anyway, but the administration won't hear anything of it. They're pissed over the alarming number of students who go to school in 'pambahay' themed outfits (think board shorts paired with a sando) which in their view (or in any adult's point of view) is not proper. More disturbing for them is the fact that more girls are discovering short (and I mean short) skirts and shorts (think sexbomb shorts or pekpek shorts as people call it) and tops with plunging necklines.

Though I personally am against wearing pekpek shorts to school, I love wearing the non-pekpek ones, especially on PE days when it's too heavy to bring denim pants in your bag for an hour and thirty minutes of travel time and when it's too hot for pants. I personally haven't seen guys walking around in sandos and boardshorts, but girls in pekpek shorts I have seen. I just thank God that those girls don't have to commute home like me. They set a standard on the length of shorts and skirts that's acceptable--if you put your arms to your sides, the length of the garment must reach your fingertips. This is fine for me, just as long as they don't totally ban shorts. This length is considered too long and too manang by many. Hey, are you people disfigured or something? God created your proportions. Try putting your arms to your sides and you'll see that it's still about three inches above the knee. It's the balance between decency and shortness. Blow up the admin office when they say that your knees should be fully covered up to your ankles, but this? COME ON.

What about of sleeveless and tank tops then? The question everybody poses here is why ban this? The plunging necklines I can understand, but the sleeveless and tank tops? COME ON. There are sleeveless and tank tops that are decent, and girls wear this because it's too hot outside, or it's fashionable. It's irrational to ban this because showing your arms and the skin around your shoulders in garments is not in anyway indecent, unless you live in Afghanistan.

Moreover, maybe the reason for the tank top wearing is also why people wear slippers to school. Furthermore, it's a hassle to wear shoes at times. Slippers, you just slip `em on and go. But as many adults say, why wear slippers to school? It's pretty much like wearing a shirt-jeans ensemble to the inauguration of the president of the Philippines or an extreme comparison, going to church clad in your underwear. You are terribly under dressed for school if you go in your slippers, they say, at least go in strapped sandals. They have a point in this...damn it.

My mom always stressed that she hates to see students going to school in slippers and/or shorts. It makes her feel like we're slacking off. But we really wear these things because we are comfortable in it; well, at least in my perspective. If the adults in the administration take comfort for slacking off, or worse, indecency, then what we have here is a clash of definitions.

Back in the cubicle, I chuckled and looked around somemore. I turned to face the door.

Red fingerprints at the door and its lock. I mentally cursed myself in my head for touching the door without taking notice of the things on it. It was then I realized that I didn't know what the red things were yet. First I thought it was candle wax, but I scrapped it because candle wax would not dry up that cleanly on a wall, even a thin layer of it. It would crumble sooner or later. Paint? Could be. So I chuckled again, and left the cubicle. I went back to lab and took my blockmates to the cubicle for a look-see. I was really interested on the fact that somebody took it this far, but my excitement turned to disgust when somebody asked "Regla ba yan?"

A way to find out popped into my head. I took the dipper drizzled with red stuff out to the technicians and asked for some hydrogen peroxide. Girls, you know why hydrogen peroxide (agua oxenada) is effective for removing blood stains in our skirts and pants, right? Blood reacts with it, forming white bubbles.

There it is. Blood.

So the question here now becomes what is the source of the blood? I was thinking menstrual fluid, but it's too sick, too unimaginable, too crazy. But on the flipside, it's very plausible. I also thought it was just paint. Maybe there was a variety of paint that reacts with H2O2. After all, a handprinting booth at the SEC B foyer was in operation the whole day, which could possibly be the source of the paint (only the SOURCE, not the CULPRIT. that's different). After we went back up to the lab to further chop up our cat, school authorities had the CR closed and investigated. Water based paint, they say. I'm tad sure that it's blood you have there. Test water based paint against H2O2. Let me know if I'm wrong.

Two adjectives for the act: radical but idiotic.
To the person (who, I'm pretty sure is a member of the female species): There are other ways to protest if you hate it that much, honey.

dinner on the 25th

2007-09-07T14:58:00.000+08:00

Last Monday, September 3, after rounds and rounds of serious shouting, hyperactivity, chopstick pinching, bashing and ennumerating and scrawling the Buddhist 8-fold path on the board, Jan Formalejo (my blockmate), Chris Tiu (yeah, you read it right) and I won the dinner treat at the 25th floor of the Philippine Stock Exchange plaza that Ms. Coo was giving out as a prize. It was also the treat that my prof was giving to her beadles in her classes, so Nyko and Sheena were going with us too.

Sheena, Jan, Nyko and I were sure to go to the dinner on the 5th, but one of us wasn't. Chris said that he might not go with us because his afternoons are full. He was really busy that week, given that he had to train every afternoon to night for the upcoming games in UAAP (Ateneo vs. La Salle is this Sunday already) and he wanted to go see Kobe Bryant that day. Well, he's Chris Tiu afterall.

He had the choice of giving up his slot or joining the winners from the other class for brunch the following week. He seemed to agree to do the latter. Nyko, Sheena and I texted him and asked him what his plan was, then asked him to join us instead. He replied, and he ended up joining us that afternoon (At shempre, kinilig ng sobra si Nyko.).

Never in my college life did I think that I would have the chance to talk and interact with Chris Tiu, but hey...unexpected things like this make life fun. He is really nice and very down to earth. He used to be my crush way back in high school, and now, I proved the theory that crushes disappear after social contact. Talking to him was like talking to everybody else.

I loved Ms. Coo more after this dinner. Because of her stories about her trips to other countries, I was inspired to do the same when I get older. What remains is my concern for the money factor though. I hope I can get rich fast and travel soon. :)

The food was great and we talked about lots of things. Finally, before we left the building, we took a lot of pictures. I'll steal from Sheena or Nyko's multiply when they post them already. I'll share the pics with you guys. :)

Nice meeting you, CJ (the beadle from the other class who joined us)!
Thank you Sheena, Nyko, Chris and Jan for the company!
Thank you Ms. Coo, for the treat!

I hope there are more classes in my whole college life like this.
Maybe someday, if I decide to be a teacher, I'll give a treat like this to my students too...that is if I'll get as rich as Ms. Stephanie Coo. :)

Ms. Coo and History 16 will always be remembered.

dahil ako ay tinag ni ate ekai at wala akong magawa...

2007-08-26T08:18:00.000+08:00

...heto ang isang sarbey...well...parang isang sarbey.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

THE RULES:

Post these rules first:
*each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
*bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their own 8 things and post these rules.
*at the end of your blog entry, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
*don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MILES DOMINGO FACTOIDS:

1. Mga ilang buwan narin akong hindi nakakatulog sa sarili kong kama. Kama ko na ang sofa namin. Sa katunayan nga, andito na ang kumot at unan ko (hindi na iniaakyat ng nanay ko ang mga ito tulad ng dati). Malapit kasi sa sala si Gin (silver sa Hapon, at pangalan ng aking computer) pati na ang aking study table. So kung gusto mong malaman kung nagpuyat ako kagabi, tingnan mo ang sofa namin.

2. Laging magulo ang aking study table. AYAN NA! inaamin ko na, mama! haha. Pero may bagay na ang tawag ay "orderly chaos". Magulo nga, alam ko naman kung saan nakalagay ang bawat bagay na kakailanganin ko. Tsaka kaya lang naman natatawag na magulo ang mesa ko dahil sa mga scratch paper na nagtambak dito, which leads me to another factoid...

3. ...na isa akong pack rat. Ayokong magtapon ng mga maliit na bagay na sa palagay ko ay kakailanganin ko pa sa future o memorable para sa akin. Resibo sa isa sa mga pagkain namin ni Jericho sa labas? Tago. Papel ng biruan namin ng blockmates ko? Tago. Quizzes at long exams ko sa Botany nung first sem ng freshman year ko? Tago. Nakakaparanoid kasi. Malay ko ba kung kailanganin ko yung scratch paper ko sa first midterms ko sa Math 11? Bwahahahaha.

4. May fixation ako sa kulay itim, pula at orange. Oha. Halloween na halloween. Sa tuwing bibili ako ng damit, kahit marami siyang available na kulay, laging nakatuon ang aking pansin sa mga itim, pula at orange na versions ng damit na ito.

5. Breakdown ng allowance ko:

15% Pamasahe
40% School expenses (pagpapa-photocopy, printing, overdue fees, etc.)
25% Load
15% Ipon
5% Pagkain

6. Ayokong kumakain ng kahit anong malasa. Gusto ko ng matatabang na pagkain, o yung mga walang lasa. Sa katunayan nga, gustong gusto kong magngata ng yelo. Sarap kaya.

7. Tomboy magnet ata ako. *shiver*

8. Kinoconsider kong ultimate compliment ang mga puri ng mga bading. Sobrang natutuwa ako sa tuwing sinasabi sa akin ng mga bading na nagugupit sa akin na maganda ako, ang haba ng pilik mata ko, sexy ako, etc. haha. ang kapal. Asus. minsan lang naman to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ang mga susunod na biktima ay sina:

Gerald Pascua
Janica Magat
Tina Sendin
Leo Sala
Karen Bustalinio
Maral Español
Gab de Leon
Jamie de Vera

discovery number 38975644

2007-08-23T02:20:00.000+08:00

Two days ago was the first day of my inevitable monthly cycle and I really hate it for coming at such a bad time.

I've been experiencing pretty bad cases of dysmenorrhea for the past few months. My pelvic area and my knees hurt like hell that I want to tear my entire reproductive system, put it in a glass jar, let it bleed all my menses out and then take it back in. It's implausible, and most of all disgusting, but that's what I wanted to do to put a stop to it. I can't concentrate much and I can't walk or sit properly without feeling a horrible jolt of pain. Not to mention it affects aesthtics. Wasted or haggard are ways to put it, but Cara, my blockmate put it in such a manner that I realized that I don't even wanted to see myself in a mirror while the "floodgates" are open (excellent metaphor, don't you think?). Cara stared at me for what seems like an eternity and said,

"Miles, you look dead."

Okaaay. Should I dance like Michael Jackson now?

When I finally realized that I was about to eviscerate myself because of pain and discomfort, I decided to take Mefanamic acid---a move I didn't want to do. I never took medicine for dysmenorrhea because I felt like I was lessening my body's natural ability to cope with pain. If I got used to it, I might as well take a dozen tablets for a prick on a finger. I was thankfully relieved---at least for the next four to six hours.

Thankfully, I was picked up by my dad and mom from school. Of all the things I hate doing, commuting during my period would most definitely be top ten. When I arrived home, I immediately lied down and curled up in a fetal position on the sofa. I closed my eyes and set up a plan of action in my head.

No, I won't take any more Ponstan, and no, I can't sleep this out.

I stood up, went up to my room, got some clothes and my towel and I took a bath. After which I sat on my study table and read, studied and read some more. After a while, I noticed that the pain was gone, and it didn't come back for at lease six hours.

NEW CURE FOR DYSMENORRHEA: studying.

tsk.

2007-08-20T08:48:00.002+08:00

Apat na araw din nawalan ng pasok dahil sa mga pag-ulan.
Masaya sana, pero hindi rin naman ako nakapagbakasyon...at least hindi ang utak ko.

Bawing-bawi ako sa tulog at pahinga, pero sa tuwing gigising ako, gagambalain naman ako ng ideya ng school work ko na dapat kong gawin pero hindi ko ginagawa.

TASK LIST:

1. Chem prelab--done.
2. study for Biostat long exam--done.
3. study for Compa Ana long exam--started, but not yet done.
4. study for History midterms--not done!
5. Mama's video presentation for her trip to Korea--started, but not yet done.
6. Advance reading for chem--not done!
7. Catch up reading for theo--not done!

Procrastination at katamaran! Nakakainis.
Ang laking sayang sa oras ng mga araw na walang pasok. Sana may pasok nalang nung mga nakaraang araw. Mas productive talaga ako pag nasa eskwelahan...or pag galing akong eskwela tsaka uuwi sa bahay. Pag nalarga ako sa bahay, chill mode talaga ako eh. Namamatay ang workaholic self ko dito.

Tapos mamaya, nagpapasama si mama sa Quiapo. Nakow. Pano kaya ang pag-aaral ko?
Ayoko namang hayaang pumunta nanay ko mag-isa. So ayun. Mukhang sasama ako sa kanya.

Ayoko sanang mag-cram, pero sige. Wala na akong magagawa eh.
Tssssssskkkkk.
~~~~~~~~~
Happy sixth monthsary.. :)

no secret can be hidden forever

2007-08-12T03:25:00.000+08:00

The title is a maxim that has existed since God knows when, and yesterday, life gave me a hard blow that made me realize the reason why it has stood as a general truth for generations of human existence.

At about 3 in the afternoon my mother called me at my celphone when I was in the publications room in school.

"Camille."
"Po?"
"Saan ka?"
"School po, sa pub room. Bakit po?"

At that point, I took myself out of earshot of my fellow Matanglawin staffers.

"Anong oras ka uuwi?"
"Mga 6 po. Bakit, ma?"
"Umuwi ka na kaagad pagkatapos mo diyan."
"Ma, may problema po ba?"
"May pag-uusapan tayo."

Then the line went dead.

I have known my mother for so long that I knew just by listening to how she stresses her words that I was in trouble. I took my phone out of my ear and looked at it with disdain. I wished that I never had it that day.

I went back to the pub room with evident signs of emotional torture. My forehead was grazed with lines of deep thought, my hands were shaking and my eyes were moving around their sockets so much that it hurt my head. I sat down, took a piece of paper (a receipt from McDo lying in the table) and a pencil and wrote possible reasons for my mother's weird demeanor over the phone to pacify myself.

1. she knew that I smoked.
-either from the "Congratulations!" card that Jericho gave me for not smoking for weeks or from other people *gulp*

2. she already knew of our relationship.
-either from the little "logbook" that Jericho and I have or from my blog.

3. she saw our pictures in my folder in our pc.

I dropped the pencil and looked at my list. The smoking was the least of my problems, because I already quit. I was more nervous of the next two reasons. To think of reasons for my mother's call felt like a really bad case of hyperacidity, but rationalizing and thinking of what she'd do after she knew the truth was like evisceration.

My mother obviously hated smoking. She would kill me if she knew. For one, both of my grandfathers died of smoking, and I could die because of it because I was asthmatic. Besides, any parent would get hurt if their son or daughter tried to kill themselves via a vice. Worst case scenario: she'd throw a bitchfit, and make me smoke a whole case in front of her (now, where did I get this idea? Oh, yeah, the dad of a smoker friend did this to him when his father knew of his smoking habit). Two stick would make me woozy already, and I thought that I might end up a coma patient after a sucking and breathing in a whole case. *shudder*

When I was in high school, she was constantly preaching of the damage that romantic relationships bring to academic life. She obviously wasn't for it. All that she said kept me safe and relationship-less in high school, and I am eternally grateful for it. But today is just different.
Worst case scenario: she'll call my guy and demand answers, or she'll transfer me in UP.

I left the pub room early, and met Jericho outside to eat in Wok this Way(a thing that we usually due every Saturday). I told him about my mother's call and more signs of distress appeared. I may have many shaky moments with my mother and sometimes care less for what she has to say, but she is still my mother. I was so scared that I actually ate a full rice meal with meat (I usually give him 3/4 of my share of rice). I showed him my list of possible reasons, and he told me that it's going to be fine. If it's the smoking, he told me to apologize right away and listen to her venting of emotions. What's more, what matters is I already quit the damn habit. As for the last two reasons, he said that the day that my parents will know will eventually come, and it's just that it came today. Everything will be alright. Stop shaking, and don't cry.

I came home early from what the people in the house expected. My mother greeted me and said that she'd talk to me later.

I went up to my room and changed my clothes. When I went down to the dinner table, she asked me the question that felt like a guillotine falling that has miserably failed to cut my head off.

"Ano na nga uli yung dahilan kung bakit may lighter ka sa bag mo noon?"

I suddenly remembered the time when she saw my old purple lighter in my bag when she was looking for a pen. I told her it was for chem class.

*BREATHINBREATHOUTBREATHINBREATHOUTBREATHINBREATHOUT*
I felt like a hyperventilating chicken (Note: This is a simile for a very bad breathing pattern. Bio majors would understand why.).

I stared at my plate. Then she told me what she knew.

She was really angry and disappointed in me. She told me many things, and maybe a dozen of which made me sob and cry. I said I was sorry, and I told her that I quit. Then due to reasons that I probably wouldn't know and for conversation flows that I probably couldn't trace, we talked about Jericho and I.

And so there I was with two secrets that were tied to my legs and arms like ropes tied to two bulls running in opposite directions. My abdominal muscles were sick with tension, and so was my head. I felt a migraine fit coming on.

And so she knew of Jericho and I. She was just waiting for confirmation.
And...

I gave it to her.
Good job, mom. Hitting two birds with one stone.

After our talk, I was still a hyperventilated chicken. I grabbed my phone and I texted Jericho right away. I was shaking whilst punching the keys in my phone. I wondered why it took forever to type 14 words. Or maybe it was just me.

"Be, pinatawad na ako ni mama sa paninigarilyo ko noon. Tsaka...legal na tayo."

ayos

2007-08-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

Yah, I agrees with yous. (Kuha mula sa Tagaytay)

Mabuti pa ang bra. Hindi marunong mag-assume. Seemless kasi siya. (Kuha mula sa tiangge sa Circle C)

Oo nga naman. Heed warning, or else your fault! (Kuha mula sa isa sa mga trike na nasakyan ko pauwi)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lahat ng picture na andito ay kuha mula sa aking sariling camera.
Sorry. Lait mode ako ngayon eh.
Bad trip kasi. Sakit ng dibdib ko. Tsk.

magsusulat ako dito ng parang walang nagbabasa nitong blog ko

2007-08-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

...at sana, huwag ninyo akong husgahan. Dahil blog ko naman ito, minarapat ko naring isulat dito ang isa sa aking mga naranasan na alam kong maaring makapagpabago ng tingin ng mga tao sa akin magpakailanpaman. Pero gusto ko lang malaman ninyong lahat na wala akong pakialam sa iisipin ninyo. Isinusulat ko ito dito upang gawing isang patunay na nalampasan ko na ang pagsubok na ito.

Noong summer, natuto akong manigarilyo.

Hindi ko alam, ngunit matagal ko nang gustong gawin ito. Malabo nga, kasi parehong lolo ko ay namatay dahil dito. Malabo kasi sinabi ko sa sarili ko na hinding-hindi ko iyon susubukan. May hika pa ako. Pero hayun. Sinubukan kong iwasan ito, pero mahina talaga ako.

Sinindihan ko ang una kong yosi (isang Philip) sa UP, isang gabing pauwi ako nang mag-isa. Para akong tanga. Pinilit kong gustuhin ang una kong hithit kahit hindi siya masarap sa pakiramdam. Para akong humithit ng usok galing sa sinisigaang mga kahoy o tambucho ng sasakyan pero pinilit kong gustuhin. At doon na nagsimula ang lahat.

Nakakaisang stick ako isang araw, na naglaon ay naging dalawa. Naging tatlo, ngunit pinilit kong huwag maging apat. Natuto ako kung paano magbuga ng pinong usok, at natuto rin ako kung paano magsalita nang hindi ibinubuga ang usok mula sa aking baga. Natuto't umunlad ako. Parang skill, kung baga.

Sinasabi sa bawat pakete at mga commercial sa TV na 'GOVERNMENT WARNING: smoking is dangerous to your health.' Alam ko ang katotohanan nito dahil isa akong maituturing na alagad ng siyensiya. Isang malaking kabalintunaan na isa akong Bio major na naninigarilyo. Alam ko ang mga kemikal na makakasama sa kalusugan na ipinapasok ng bawat stick sa katawan ko. Carbon monoxide, Fomaldehyde, Arsenic, pero nawalan ako ng pakialam. Ang iniisip ko na lang bilang panakip sa lahat ng mga alam ko bilang isang Bio major ay ang warning na yun ay galing naman sa gobyerno. Putsa, sino pa ba ang naniniwala sa gobyerno? Nakakatawa mang isipin, pero ang pangangatuwirang ito ay matagal ko nang naisip bago pa man ako nagsimulang manigarilyo. Sinasabi ko pa nga na dapat nakalagay ay 'Surgeon general warning', hindi 'government warning'. Baka sakaling marami pa itong mapatigil sa pagyo-yosi. Pero base sa aking naranasan, palitan man ang warning sa bawat pakete at commercial ng sigarilyo ay mukhang hindi ito magkakaroon ng epekto sa mga tumatangkilik ng Philip, Marlboro at Dunhill katulad ko.

Sa bawat pag-uwi ko, naamoy ko ang amoy ng aking lolo matapos niyang manigarilyo sa aking sarili matapos kong umubos ng isang stick. Ang nakakatawa rito ay hinding-hindi ko nagustuhan ang amoy na iyon noong bata pa ako. Hindi ko akalain na ganoon rin pala ang aking magiging amoy sa hinaharap.

Masarap magsindi, humithit at bumuga. Ngunit hindi masarap magtago habangbuhay. Menthol candy at paglalagay ng pabago ang pader ko mula sa paghihinala ng mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. Isa pa, magaling akong mag-deny. Minsan naamoy ako ng aking kapatid. Sabi ko naninigarilyo ang katabi ko sa antayan ng jeep sa UP. Naniwala siya, gaya ng iba.

May thrill man ang pagtatago, hindi rin maikakaila na mahirap mabuhay ng may tinatago. Lagi akong takot. Bago ako sumindi ay sinisigurado ko munang walang makakakilala sa akin. Pumupunta lamang ako sa mga smocket kapag gabi na. Nakakasawa sa pakiramdam. Hindi ko rin ito nakayanang itago sa mga tao, lalo na sa mga taong mahal ko.

Nagkaroon kami ng pangako ni Jericho sa isa't isa. "You smoke, I smoke." Nangangahulugan na sa aking paninigarilyo ay puwede na rin siyang sumindi kagaya ko. Hindi ko nakayanan ang imaheng nakita ko sa utak ko.

Sinabi ko narin kay Jericho noong gabi ng debut ng aking kaibigan sa Laguna.

Umiyak siya. Nasaktan.
Noon ko lamang naisip kung gaano ko siya sinaktan sa aking ginawa. Ipinlano ko pa naman na itago ito sa kanya hangga't sa kaya ko.
Wala akong narinig mula sa kanya kundi ang mga tanong niya. Kailan. Ilan. Bakit.

Bakit.

Inisip noon kung bakit ako nag-yoyosi, at marami akong naibigay na dahilan. Stressed ako, at naghahanap ako ng compensation sa itinigil kong gawain. Lingid sa kaalaman ng karamihan na isinusuka ko ang aking mga kinakain. Tumigil ako dahil may taong tinulungan akong tigilan ito. Ngunit nang tumigil akong magsuka ay naghanap ako ng stress reliever, at tila yosi ang sumagot sa aking paghahanap. Isa pa, mas nakakapag-isip ako pag sumindi na ako. Mas nalilinaw ang mga bagay na malabo, at marami akong naiisip na naiisip ko kapag mahilo-hilo ako sa usok. Pero, hindi ko iyon ginawa dahil pa-cool ako. Putsa. Asa. Alam kong smoking isn't cool. Sabi ko nga, kung pa-cool lang ako, bakit ko ito itinatago sa karamihan? Anong cool sa pagsira sa sarili mong mga baga?

Pero kahit na may ikinatuwiran ako sa kanya, umiyak din ako. Humigi ng tawad.

Sa ngayon ay mag-iisang buwan na akong walang nikotina sa katawan. Tinigilan ko ito sa tulong ni Jericho. Naagapan ang pagsira ko sa sarili kong mga baga.

Maraming tanong ang nasasagot sa aking pagyoyosi, ngunit hindi ko napansin na mas maraming tanong pa ang naibabalik nito sa akin. Hindi sagot ang aking nakukuha, ngunit mas marami pang tanong na maaring hindi ko na masagot dahil unti-unti kong inuubos ang buhay ko.

Hindi ko itatanggi na kahit papaano ay naiisip ko parin ang pakiramdam ko noong naninigarilyo pa ako. Siguro may parte sa akin na naiisip ang lasa ng usok sa labi sa tuwing may nakikita akong naninigarilyo. Cliche man pakinggan, pero may parte sa akin na ayaw nang balikan ang gawaing iyon dahil mas marami ang mawawala sa akin kapag naulit pa iyon. Sabi nga ni Jericho, gawin ko ito para sa akin at sa magiging mga anak ko sa hinaharap. Sa palagay ko, husto nang dahilan ito para tumigil ako ng tuluyan.

The Tinalupang Muning Chronicles part 1

2007-08-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

First compa ana lab session with kitty.

phase 1: skinning.

Fig 1.1 Kitty dorsally positioned

Fig 1.2 Kitty Ventrally Positioned

Fig 1.3 "Cute ko sana, pero !@$%, wala na pala akong balat"

Fig 1.4 Ang salarin

Fig 1.5 "Sige hala. Ngiti pa. !@#$%^& niyo."

isang pagsusuri sa lipunan gamit ang tsinelas

2007-08-01T09:38:00.000+08:00

Sa tuwing aalis ako papuntang eskwelahan ng naka-tsinelas, hindi mapigilan ng nanay kong sabihan ako tungkol dito, gaya na lamang nung isang araw. Kesyo daw hindi tama na nakatsinelas lang ako dahil hindi naman palengke pupuntahan ko, at hindi ito tamang gayak ng isang estudyante ng Ateneo. Buti nga daw sana kung Havaianas ang mga flip-flops ko.

Kung may ikagugulat man ako sa huling pahayag ng aking ina, hindi ito ang paghihiwatig niyang alam niya pala ang tatak ng tsinelas na Havaianas, kung hindi ang burgis na pagtingin niya sa dapat isuot ng mga taong pumapasok sa Ateneo. Dito na pumasok sa aking isipan ang matinding pagbabago sa mga bagay-bagay sa kontemporaryong panahon, lalo na sa mga simbulo ng kahirapan at karangyaan.

Nakakatawang isipin na noon ay simbulo ng kahirapan ang tsinelas. Noon, ang mga nagsusuot lamang ng tsinelas sa labas ng kanilang mga tahanan ay mga taga-probinsya at baryo. Kapag isinuot mo ang iyong tsinelas bilang panlabas--pansimba, pagpunta sa parke upang mamasyal, panonood ng sine o di kaya'y simpleng paglalakad sa mga kalye ng Maynila--ay dukha ka na at walang class ang tingin sa iyo. Naikukuwento sa akin ng aking ina na noong kolehiyo pa sila ay talagang pinahahalagahan nila ang kanilang mga sapatos. Alagang-alaga ang mga ito kahit na araw-araw nila itong ginagamit pampasok sa eskuwela't panlabas. Hindi ka puwedeng pumasok ng Unibersidad kung nakatsinelas ka lamang. Nang nauso ang mga mall bilang mga pasyalan ng karamihan ay mas tumindi ang pangit na tingin sa mga tsinelas at sa mga nagtsitsinelas. Naalala ko noong pa bata ako ay hindi kami maaring pumunta ng mall ng naka-tsinelas lamang. Kelangang naka rubber shoes o di kaya'y clogs ayon sa aming ina. May mga nakapaskil kasi sa mga entrance ng mall na nagsasabing

The following are not allowed inside the mall premises:

-Pets
-People wearing sandos, shorts and rubber slippers

Ngayon ko lamang naisip na tila ibinaba sa lebel ng mga alagang hayop ang mga taong naka-sando, shorts at tsinelas noon.

Ngayon, hindi ko na kailangan pang ipaliwanag o ilarawan pa ang nauuso sa kasalukuyan. Ako mismo ay bahagi nito, at alam kong marami sa inyo ay nakasakay sa bandwagon na ito, malay man kayo o hindi. Dito ko nakikita kung gaano ako namamangha at napapaisip tungkol sa kapangyarihan ng mga mayayaman sa mga lipunan ng mundong ito. Nakakaya nilang baliktarin ang mga reyalidad na dati'y hindi katanggap-tanggap at hubugin ito bilang isang bagong norm. Isang tradisyunal ngunit magandang halimbawa nito ang foot binding na isinasagawa ng mga sinaunang mga babae sa Tsina. Ang mga paa ng mga babaeng ito ay pinapaliit hanggang sa tatlong pulgada gamit ang pagbalot ng isang pirasong bakal o bubog sa talampakan. Ang korte ng paa ay pasusunurin sa bakal o bubog na ito sa pamamagitan ng pagbali sa mga buto ng paa ng paunti-unti gamit ang telang mahigpit na ibinalot sa buong paa. Sinasabing ito ay nagmula sa royal court nang may isang prinsesa na pinanganak na maliit at walang porma ang kanyang mga paa. Upang hindi isipin ng prinsesa na hindi siya normal at nakakadiri ang kanyang kalagayan ay ipinagutos ng emperador na ang lahat ng paa ng mga babae sa kanyang palasyo ay gayahin ang kalagayan ng prinsesa sa pamamagitan ng foot binding. Isinasagawa lamang ito ng mga mayayaman sa lipunan noon sa mga batang babae, ngunit nang naglaon ay isinagawa na rin ito ng mga magsasaka't commoner sa kanilang mga anak. Maaring ginawa nila ito upang maitaas naman ng kahit kaunti ang kanilang estado sa lipunan. Kung mailalagay sa iilang salita ito ay masasabing "Vertical mobility by breaking the foot". Ang halimbawang ito ay nasa kasukdulan kumpara sa pagtsitsinelas, ngunit pareho sila ng paraan ng pagpasok sa ating lipunan bilang katanggap-tanggap. Sa pagtsitsinelas naman, siguro naging katanggap-tanggap ito nang minsang pumasok si Jaime Zobel de Ayala sa isa sa mga mall niya nang nakatsinelas. Ayun naman ay hula ko lamang.

Havaianas man o hindi, ay patuloy parin akong magsusuot ng tsinelas. Una dahil kumportable ang mga ito sa paa, at pangalawa, dahil uso siya. Wala pa ako sa kondisyon ng pag-iisip na maging isang total deviant. At sa palagay ko, wala pang kolektibo at istrakturang panlipunan ang nasa estadong ito.

sarap to the bones

2007-07-27T03:33:00.000+08:00

Kahapon, matapos ang huli kong klase at makipagkita kay Jericho, pumunta ako sa Matteo para aralin pa ang mga kalansay ng hayop na hiniram ko galing sa CompaAna lab. Papasok sana ako para aircon, pero naisip ko na huwag nalang dahil maingay ako magsaulo. Baka sa kaka-recite ko ng mga pangalan ng buto pagkamalan pa akong na-eenkanto o nangungulam ("Rostrum, rostral fenestrae..."). Mukha pa namang props sa witchcraft yung mga buto, kulang nalang kandila. Titiisin ko nalang ang init, kesa naman sa mapalabas o di kaya'y i-exorcise ako ni manong guard.

Matapos umupo sa steps, naisip kong unahin ang pagong, dahil isa yun sa mga hayop na hindi ko pa naaral kahit kailan. Tapos isinunod ko ang pating. Gamit ang isang maiksing lapis na panturo sa mga parte ng kalansay at si Duran-Duran (lab manual namin sa CompaAna na nahirapan akong hanapin), sinubukan kong magsaulo.

Hindi ito ang unang pagkakataon na kailangan kong magsasaulo ng maraming bagay, dahil mga ilang buwan at semestre ko narin itong ginagawa. Aaminin kong medyo nahihirapan ako dahil hindi ako yung tipo ng tao na mahilig/magaling sa pagsasaulo, ngunit matatandaan ko ang mga bagay-bagay kapag alam ko ang gamit o relasyon nito sa iba pang bagay. Ang labo nga eh. Kapag nalalaman ito ng mga tao, ang unang tanong nila sa akin, "E bakit ka nag-Bio kung hindi ka mahilig sa memorization?" Tuwing sinasabi sa akin ito, hindi ko mapigilang isipin na isa itong paghamak sa totoong ginagawa ng mga Biology majors sa kanilang pag-aaral. Nakakainis isipin na marami ang nagsasabi na good memory at pagiging bookish lamang ang kailangan mo para makapasa o di kaya'y makakuha pa ng magagandang mga marka sa kursong ito. Pero hindi naiisip ng karamihan na hindi lang kami basta nagsasaulo. Totoo na mahalagang bahagi ito ng aming pag-aaral bilang mga alagad ng siyensiya, ngunit anong kuwenta ng pagsasaulo kung hindi mo naman naiintindihan kung bakit ganyan ang tawag sa bagay na iyon, bakit ganyan ang disenyo nito at kung ano ang relasyon o gamit nito kung iuugnay ito sa iba pang parte. Naisip ko ito bigla kahapon dahil marami sa aking mga kakilalang Bio major (sa Ateneo man o hindi) ay kinukumpirma at pinapatunayan pa ang stereotype na ito sa halip na baliin ang ganitong paniniwala. Hindi ko sila masisisi kung ganiyan ang kanilang learning style, pero sana maisip nila na ang purong pagkakabesa lamang ay hindi sapat upang maging isang doktor o biologist. Hindi ko sinasabi na mali ang ganitong learning style, hindi rin ako nanlalait, at lalong hindi ko sinasabi na ang learning style ko ang tama. Nasasaktan lang kasi ako para sa aming mga Bio major na ibinababa sa imahe ng isang makinang may AI---maraming alam, pero hanggang memoryadong kaalaman lamang. Wala ang mismong kaluluwa ng paghahanap ng kaalaman, ang pag-intindi, pag-uugnay at aplikasyon. Kailangan ito sa kahit saang disiplina, science course man ito o hindi.

Sana mabali na ang ganitong paniniwala, ngunit marami mga bagay na sadyang sinusuportahan at pinapatibay pa ang ganitong stereotypical na pagtingin sa kurso namin. Ang masama pa rito ay karamihan pa sa mga bagay na ito ay nasa loob mismo ng sistema ng mga Bio department ng iba't ibang mga pamantasan, kolehiyo man ito o paaralang pangsekondarya. Maraming mga high school at college students ang suklam na suklam sa Bio dahil puro daw ito memorization. Hindi ko sila masisisi, dahil ito ang bakas na iniiwan ng mga guro at propesor sa Bio na purely objective ang mga teaching at testing style. Oo, mahalaga ang pagi-identify o page-enumerate ng mga terminolohiya. Ngunit ang sistemang ganito ay gumagawa ng lamat sa analytical property ng asignaturang ito. Naiisip tuloy ng karamihan na walang dapat suriin sa mga paksa sa Bio. Isang ebidensiya nito ay nabanggit ko na sa itaas: ang stereotype na good memory lamang at aklat ang kailangan mo sa Bio.

Hindi ka mabubuhay sa kahit anong kurso gamit ang magaling na memorya lamang. Sana maisip ng bawat estudyante ang tunay na kahulugan ng salitang mag-aral.

Ang masasabi ko lang sa mga taong may ganitong mentalidad ay ito: CHE!!

(waha. Chos.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shet. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na napaka-misleading pala ng title ng entry na ito. Hindi ko kinain ang laman ng pusang iyan ha. Iniiwasan ko narin palang kumain ng Ma-Ling sa takot ko na baka ang laman ng mga kalansay na inaaral namin ay hinalo pala dito upang gawing paboritong piniritong agahan ng mga Pilipino. Ang masasabi ko lang, YAK.

CompaAna lab exam ko mamayang 2.30-3.30. wah. Panginoon, patnubayan niyo po ako.

WOOH! Panalo Ateneo sa game kahapon versus La Salle! Haha! Galing ni History 16 classmate! Waha! :)

Pagpapatikim: Tamis at Pait ng Paghihiganti

2007-07-11T04:44:00.000+08:00

Sa bawat latay at
hinanakit na dala
ng kabiguan na naitatanim
sa diwa't kaluluwa
ay aagos at dadanak
ang dugo
mula sa budhing
tinarakan.

Dugo
na ang produktong ningas
ay higit na mainit at masidhi
kaysa sa gasolinang sinilaban.

Pilit na hahanapin
ang kapalit ng sakit
na tila kalunasan din nito:
and paghihiganting
hindi matatawaran
na siyang pilit na
ilalatay at ididiin
sa balat at katawan
ng gagantihan.

sisiguraduhing
hinding-hindi malilimot
at paulit-ulit itong madarama
sa katawan
pati na sa kanyang kaluluwa.

Ang dugong kinuha't pinaagos niya
ay ang dugong siyang susunog din sa kanya.

July 8, 2007

Isa pang blog?

2007-07-10T03:10:00.001+08:00

Napapansin ko ang hilig ko sa pagsusulat ng mga tula at ang dumaraming bilang ng aking mga naisusulat na katha.

Naisip ko tuloy na gumawa pa ng isa pang blog para sa aking mga akda, pero baka self-defeating ang purpose nito.

Ano sa palagay ninyo?

Tulungan niyo naman ako sa pagpapasya.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Upang magsabi ng kuro-kuro ukol dito, maglagay na lamang ng isang comment para sa post na ito. Ang link para sa mga komento ay matatagpuan sa ibaba ng bawat sulatin sa blog na ito.

Haha. Parang show lang sa radyo ah.

endure, but up to what point?

2007-07-08T12:31:00.000+08:00

1. Gusto ko ng pera...maraming maraming pera. Para san?

Pangbayad sa dorm.
Pambili ng bagong calculator.
Pambili ng one year supply ng nicotine gum.
Pambili ng tatlong bote ng Lipovitan Ira araw-araw para labanan ang pagod at ang kagustuhang matulog matapos mag-commute ng dalawang oras.

2. Sana lumakas ako. Kahit konti lang. Ang hina-hina ko na.

Papel na Rosas

2007-07-06T03:27:00.001+08:00

Ang alaala ng nakaraang
pag-ibig
ay parang isang papel na rosas
na dinidiligan ng ulan.

Kumukupas ang
kulay.
Sumasama sa tubig
na humahalik at dumadanti
sa bawat sabong na marahang
tumitiklop at lumulukot
upang pilit na iligtas
ang kulay na
tumutulo, dumadaloy.
Tumatakbo.
Palayo.

Para kay Ate Maral Angel Español.
July 4, 2007

binigyan ako ng buhay ng isang matamis na surpresa

2007-07-02T03:08:00.000+08:00

Sige. Gusto ko sanang hindi na kayo bitinin pa, ngunit alam ko na kapag nabasa niyo na ang diwa ng sulating ito ay baka pindutin niyo na ang ekis sa itaas ng inyong mga screen. Kaya, hala, sige, papatayin ko muna kayo sa kasabikan.

Pumasok ako sa klase ko sa History 16 (Asian History) noong tumunog na ang bell. Kagaya ng dati, nag-ingay kami ng aking mga blockmate ng kaunti. Kaunting tawanan at biruan, ngunit nang dumaan ang ilang minuto ay natahimik kami, lalo na kaming ang mga babae. Kung dala ito ng gulat o pagtataka, ay hindi ko alam. May taong naka-upo sa mga silya sa likuran, at sa pagkakatanda naming lahat ay hindi namin siya kaklase. Sinabi sa akin ni Sheena na baka nasa maling silid siya, o nagkaroon siya ng klase dito at hindi pa siya umaalis. Tumango ako, dahil malaki ang posibilidad na ayon nga ang pangyayari.

Napagisip-isip ko na umupo na lamang sa aking silya habang tinitingnan ang taong naka-upo sa likod. Subsob siya sa kaniyang binabasa, at wari'y hindi niya binibigyang pansin ang mga titig ng lahat sa kanya. Sa aking pag-upo ay napansin kong may hindi pa pala ako nagagawa. Ako kasi ang naatasan ng aming guro na si Binibining Coo na ilabas ang bakanteng silya sa aking tabi upang ipangharang sa pintuan na walang door stopper. Nang maiharang ko na ang upuan ay may nagsalita sa aking tabi.

"Excuse me, puwede ko bang kunin `tong upuan?"

Lumingon ako, at nakita ko ang lalaking naka-upo kanina sa likod ng silid. Ang tangkad niya. Kinailangan ko pang tumingala ng bahagya upang makita ang kanyang mukha.

"Ahhh...sige. Ayos lang. Wala namang gagamit." Sagot ko.

Ngumiti siya, bumulong at tumango ng pasasalamat, at saka binuhat ang silya palayo. Bumaling ang aking tingin sa pintuang nakasara na ngayon. Pumikit ako at sinabi sa sarili na patay ako sa aking guro.

Ilang minuto pa ang dumaan at pumasok na ang aming guro sa silid. Inantay kong pansinin niya ang nakapinid na pintuan, ngunit hindi niya ito ginawa. Napabuga ako ng hangin. Akala ko magagalit siya.

Sa aming pag-upo ay sakto namang tumunog ang pangalawang bell. Nagtanong siya ng kaunti tungkol sa aming mga babasahin, kung sino pa ang hindi nakakakuha ng mga ito, atbp. Ang aking diwa'y nakatuon na sa aming guro, ngunit biglang sumagi sa aking isipan ang lalaki sa likod. Lumingon ako, at nakita ko siyang muli. Napakunot ang aking noo, dahil hindi tama ang hula namin ni Sheena. Nagbabasa parin siya, at dahil dito ay natuon ang aking pansin sa puting papel na kaniyang binabasa. Gumalaw ang kaniyang kamay upang ilipat ang pahina ng kaniyang binabasa. Napatitig ako at natigilan. Isa sa mga pahina ng mga papel na kaniyang binabasa ay lubhang napakapamilyar. "Tzu Hsi: The Dragon Empress of China". Lumaki ang aking mga mata habang nabubuo na sa aking isipan ang isang malaking posibilidad na itinatwa namin ni Sheena nang una namin siyang makita.

Tzu Hsi: The Dragon Empress of China.
Shet. Shet. Hindi kaya...

"Guys, oo nga pala. I would like to introduce you to your new classmate..."

Pilit kong inialis sa pagkakapaskil sa lalaki sa likod ang aking mga mata upang tingnan ang aking guro. Tiningnan ko ang kanyang mga labi habang binibigkas niya ang mga salitang hahampas sa akin sa mukha. Totoo na ng bagay na hindi ko inaasahang mangyayari sa akin sa buong buhay ko sa Ateneo.

"...Chris."

Kaklase ko si Chris Tiu sa History 16...at kagrupo ko pa siya sa proyekto ng aming guro na isang dula.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oo, aaminin ko, kinilig ako. High school ko pa siya crush ano.
Crush lang naman eh.*ehem*ruru*ehem*

Mamatay kayo sa inggit! waha. CHOS! CHOS!

interesting experience #108963

2007-06-21T08:31:00.000+08:00

Kaninang umaga, napagpasyahan kong basahin ang sanaysay na sunod na pinapabasa sa amin ng Theo prof namin. Ang tagal kasing mapuno ng jeep, kaya nagbasa muna ako.

Pinatakbo na ni manong ang makina ng jeep niya, pero wala akong pakialam. Nagpatuloy parin ako sa aking pagbabasa.

"You study theology?"

Inialis ko ang aking mga mata sa pulutong ng mga itim na letra sa libro ko. Tumingin ako ng bahagya sa dulo ng libro ko at may nakita akong daliri na nakaturo sa pamagat ng artikulong binabasa ko. Hindi ko alam kugn ano ang mas nakakagulat, yung may marining kang lalaki na kinakausap ka sa Ingles ng biglaan sa isang pampublikong jeepney o ang makakita ng daliri na tila nanggaling sa kawalan na nakalapat pa sa libro mo.

Hinanap ko ang pinanggalingan ng tinig, at iyon. Katabi ko pala siya. Akala ko nanggaling sa harap ko ang boses. Parang tunog malayo ang boses niya...pero dahil siguro narin yun sa tunog ng makina ng jeep ni manong.

May nakilala akong isang Vietnamese na mukhang Hapon/Koreano na nag-aaral sa Loyola House of Studies ng Theology na madalas manigarilyo sa SOM smocket, at ang pangalan niya ay Li.

Liberato

2007-06-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

My grandfather always walked
With his hands behind his back.
His lips twitch
Whenever the afternoon lights come.

He pats us on the head
Whenever we pass by.
Gives us his blessing
Whenever we chase dragonflies.

He’s a master
Of his pots and pans,
Knives and meat
Sugar and salt.

He inflames his insides
With bitter tasting water.
Though clear and treacherous,
It seems to answer his questions.

He fills himself
With endless streams of smoke that sticks to his skin.
It curls up and disappears into oblivion
But tames his tired soul.

The taste of the estopado
His touch and
His scent in the afternoon
Are nailed memoirs.

From now on I shall remember how he sailed away
From the seas of the living
For today and probably tomorrow,
I shall smell my grandfather in me.

16 June 2007

sabi ko na eh!

2007-06-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Mama! Kita mo na?
Pumayag ka na kasing ipakulay ko tong buhok ko!
Haha.

Who needs Who?: Another Look at the World's Dependence to the United States

2007-06-07T22:56:00.001+08:00

It seems like that the world needs the United States to exist. If you are not one of its trading partners, the future of your your economy is bleak. If you are not recognized by it as a state, then what are you? If you are not one of its allies, then you are one of its enemies. If you do not obey its orders, then you are a renegade, and part of the "axis of evil deviants". Today, Uncle Sam holds us at the palm of his hand, and to add to that, we kiss this hand every time. The United States, as a member of the UN Security Council and being a world superpower has taken upon itself the burden of being the world's superhero. They have taken the responsibility to keep the peace and keep the world safe.

Just recently, after all the terror and the wars, the death tolls, bombing and unrest, the United States have finally conquered and assimilated one of the considered renegade states of the world, Iraq. Today, the G-8 member's troops walk the sandy earth of Iraq to keep the order and peace that they have "brought" to the state after they spearheaded Saddam Hussein's downfall which was symbolized by the proverbial destruction of his monument and his execution. But social unrest is still rampant, and the death count is still seemingly endless. There seems to be an unlimited number of people willing to blow themselves up "for the glory of Allah". Many of the casualties are civilians and US soldiers. The unrest is caused by the factions existing in the state, the Shiite and the Sunni Muslims, fighting over supremacy in the state government. The attacks were said to be caused by the radical Shiite Mahdi Army militia. This is clearly a civil war and so it drives me to ask: what role then, does the United States play in this unrest? What are their troops doing there? Are they really playing the part of the proverbial superhero or are they just plain nosing around? I say they aren't doing any of these two. They are, in fact, taking advantage of the whole situation.

If we look back at the world's war history, in almost every war, the US participated. World War II, Vietnam war, Gulf war, Cold war, Israel vs Arab nations---name a major war in the 21st century, and the US is guaranteed to be in it.

We know from history that US was not considered a superpower before the first world war. European countries such as Britain and Spain were the gods of the world then. It was after the First World War that the US started to pick up. Europe was devastated by the war, and this is where the United States established its power base. It had almost no competitors, so it started to conquer and conquer lands. It was then their "war economy" began to take shape.

Being a nation whose economy is capitalist, there exists a surplus in the goods that they produce which needs to be sold or else they'd face losses. Since their state is the cause of surplus, they started to get out and find other states to dump and sell their surpluses to. To rise to power, they have resorted to Neocolonialism, using wars as its vector. The United States' economy flourish from the ashes of wars, like horsetails sprouting after a forest fire. From selling nuclear weapons and ammunition to involved allies to benevolently assimilating countries as their own territory as a way of "keeping the peace", they have done it all, just to keep their capitalist economy standing. The Philippines was one of the victims of these ploys, and so is Puerto Rico and Cuba. Notice the fact that the United States' targets for Neocolonialism are always poor and underdeveloped countries. It's highly possible that they see these types of countries as weak, poor and gullible to lead into their dirty capitalist ploys.

We remember that during the American occupation, President McKinley implemented a policy that he called the Benevolent Assimilation, wherein the Philippine state was said to be in the good hands of the American government. Roads have been constructed, trade encouraged and education was given to all. They even used us as a military base and established a Commonwealth here in order to "prepare and train the Philippine nation for independence". But we have to see that underneath all these social welfare projects are the unspoken motives that would benefit the US and only the US.

Why was trade encouraged? To drill in our minds that we need American products because they are of better quality. Why were roads constructed? Because the presence of roads would instigate in the Filipino mind the need for cars, which they readily produce (by Ford, the most popular American cars company back then). Why did they give free education everybody, especially to the women and the poor? Because they needed to root their capitalist ventures even to the marginalized because they are also potential markets.

We see the same strategies being done today in Iraq. We see a lot of construction projects, financial and economic aid, help in governance and military assistance and education (especially to their women) in the state. The only difference is that they encountered a nation whose civil unrest is giving them a hard time by killing off their military arm, one troop at a time.

So who's dependent to whom, then? The United States needs to destroy and dismantle nations like Iraq to live and dominate the world to be able to makes it economy exist as one of the most powerful ones in the world. It's not nations like us that need the "Land of Promise", it's them that need us.

I think they United States better rethink their official state seal. To use the American Bald Eagle is an ultimate insult to one of the most beautiful members of Class Aves. They are smart predators, and they fly high and not resort to dead and suffering prey. Eagles are not parasites, which is what the country that it is a seal for is.

An Ascaris or some nematode is more like it.

18 December 2006
Addenda included: 24 February 2007

sakto

2007-06-07T22:16:00.000+08:00

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

....lalo na ung last statement.

The Ironies of This Life (Part I)

2007-06-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

1. The separation of the church and the Philippine Government.

2. A COMELEC official saying "Malinis at payapa ang halalan!", just when a presinct explodes to bits behind him while masked men run away from the scene carrying the ballot boxes.*

3. People forgiving (?) and forgetting the crimes of election fraud just by hearing the words "I am sorry."

4. Actors, actresses and other famous people running for government positions to help the people.

5. People having babies but not knowing that they come from having sexual intercourse (Source: Readers' Digest.)

6. A priest fathering twin brothers...

7. ...bore by a nun (shucks. Instant family.).

8. A romantic same-sex relationship.**

9. A smoking doctor.

10. An alcoholic med school professor emeritus.

11. A drugstore selling cigarettes.

12. Planning and laying out your activities for the day, but ending up not doing any of them.

13. A fireworks store adjacent an LPG store or a gas station.

14. A fireman next to a dry fire hydrant.

15. Miles sipping coffee while lying on her bed.

Ironies, or just plain jokes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* A completely concocted situation. But who knows, it might have really happened.

** Why, you ask? In same-sex relationships, one acts as the male, and the other as the female (i.e, in lesbian relationships, the "tomboy" is the guy, and the girlfriend is the girl). So is there really a same-sex relationship? Psychologically speaking, is it even possible? Ironic.

An internet chain game

2007-06-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

..Each player of this game [?] starts with 6 weird things about him. People who get tagged need to write in their blog 6 weird things. In the end, choose 6 people to be tagged. List their names, of course. Don’t forget to inform them.

Gerald tagged me.

And so, here it is.

SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT MILES DOMINGO

1. Miles has a fancy for extra spicy food. Ask her to eat a whole chili with rice, she'll do it with a smile. Many people say (especially her siblings) that if you want to know how spicy something is, don't ask her opinion. What's not spicy for her might be a volcano for you.

2. She hates eating. She'd rather sleep than enjoy a meal, and that's the reason why she doesn't eat dinner.
....
err...sometimes? *nervous chuckle*

3. She likes to keep small things that remind her of the different events in her life. She keeps these things in sturdy shoe boxes in her room. The most recent addition to her collection? A McDo fries carton (acquired May 22,2007), whose contents have been consumed by her and someone special. Maybe this is the reason why she's scared of throwing papers and other stuff away. And maybe this is also the reason why her mother constantly holds the tower of papers leaning dangerously and the other stuff on her study table as a sermon topic. Trash and laziness, she calls it, but to Miles, it's just plain sentimentality.

4. She wants to die, come back and then tell everybody about it.

5. She has selective arachnophobia, a term that she coined for her condition, that is, she's not scared of all spiders, especially not to small, gray ones. Rather, she's extremely terrified of huge, hairy, and colorul (indicative that they are venomous) and slow-walking spiders, like tarantulas, black widows and---God forbid---Goliath bird-eating spiders. She always wishes that Class Arachnida be wiped out by natural selection, but she always takes it back because she realizes the impact the disappearance of spiders will have on the ecosystem(Tsk. Biologists.).

6. She'd rather go to hell and burn in all its sulfuric glory than to get married, but that's an opinion that's subject to change...or is changing at the moment.

There you go. Your turn, Gab, Kacie , Pikselot, Josh, Ate Ekai and Kuya Randy. :)

I miss my block.

2007-06-01T01:36:00.000+08:00

I had this heart to heart talk with Rap, one of my blockmates via Y!m. It was a fun conversation, and it made me realize how much I love and miss my course block.

L2! See you guys soon.

The Smoker

2007-06-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

For Serenity
and for those who try to find the answers in between puffs

The smoke dissolves
Into a thin array
Of colors melting and
waiting to be
Analyzed.

then

Realizations
flow
from your eyes
that see
not.

it's going to be a fun, fun semester

2007-05-30T22:41:00.001+08:00

Yesterday's enlistment experience was really quite...err...surprising.

I woke up at 5.45 in the morning and sat in front of the computer until six. I've been pressing the refresh button once every 5 minutes after the clock struck six, but to no avail. The AISIS server wasn't up until 6.30 in the morning. Oh, well. So much for the 6 am opening time.

I began enlisting for my classes at 6.30 and I was done around 8. The hour-and-a-half enlistment included the times when I was fixing my schedule on a sheet of paper and the moments when I stared blankly at the screen as I waited for the damn pages to load. Whether the delay was caused by my slow internet connection or the server getting overloaded, I wouldn't know. Ergo, it was filling me with impatience to the brim. Good thing I was feeling patient that day.

And so, after the long, tedious wait I went through, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my class schedule for the first semester of school year 2007-2008:

Mondays and Wednesdays
7-8 PE 104, Aerobics
8.30-9.30 Theology 121
12.30-1.30 Comparative Anatomy Lecture
1.30-2.30 Asian History

Tuesdays and Thursdays
9.00-10.30 Chemistry 11 Lecture
12.00-1.30 Biostatistics
1.30-5.30 Chemistry 12 lab (Tues)
Comparative Anatomy lab(Thurs)

Friday
8.30-9.30 Theology 121
12.30-1.30 Comparative Anatomy Lecture
1.30-2.30 Asian History

Saturday
8.00-12.00 NSTP

Yeah, I know. My schedule sucks more than a suckling pig, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And not to mention that I have to be in school by 7 during Mondays and Wednesdays. But, hey, nothing good came out from complaining because of sucky class schedules. I guess I have to live with this schedule for 5 months. I'd get used to it anyway. After all, I'm not the person who loves slacking off. Way too many breaks will freak me out.

It may seem okay now, but I have this problem still with my schedule; my NSTP.
Argh. If only I knew of the NSTP multiply site before I enlisted to an NSTP section. The freaking site contained all information about the NSTP sections and areas. I was planning to enlist to the NSTP area that's held by Gabay, my org here. But the thing was, I didn't know which section was that. And so I let my mouse do the choosing for me. I went to section AF, and it turns out it wasn't the section held by Gabay. Damn it. Now, I'm waiting for the free for all enlistment time in AISIS. I just hope the Gabay section's not yet full by the time I change my current section. *kneels down to pray*

And oh, somebody's going back home this midnight.
Be safe...come back home to me in one piece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIDENOTE:
Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End is love. The fight scenes, the effects and the witty dialogs were a killer. JOHNNY DEPP is as hot as usual. *tsssssss*.

But SM FAIRVIEW CINEMAS halved the thrill for me.
The movie house's audio sucks.
Damn you, Henry Sy.

for today is the day we all say "arrrr!"

2007-05-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

I'm supposed to be sleeping now, because I have to wake up early to enlist for my classes this coming semester via the internet. But what the hell, I'll let insomnia kick in. Besides, this is the only chance I've got to once again bum out and burn the computer chair with my butt (I hope you guys don't take this literally).

My online reg is scheduled today, at six in the morning. My random number is 88, and yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones *sticks our tongue*. I'm five hours away from the designated time when the registration gates open, and I feel that I would decide not to sleep until the fateful hour comes.

While I was blog-hopping, I came across a site that criticizes (bashing is the more appropriate term, but subtlety is needed) the AISIS (Ateneo Integrated Student Information System) in Gerald's blog.

Check it out here.

To spark your interest, here's an entry taken from the site.

aisis pickup lines

guy: miss, ikaw ba 'yong tinatawag nilang aisis?
girl: ha? bakit?
guy: ang hirap kasi mag-enlist sa puso mo

guy: grabe! there are only two profs remaining since bulok ang aisis!
girl: oo nga eh bad trip, there's not much of a choice 'no?!
guy: pero alam mo, just choose one... it doesn't matter naman eh
girl: why?
guy: kasi in the end, i'll still choose you

guy: ang papangit ng mga schedules natin 'no?!
girl: oo nge eh.
guy: pero buti ka pa...
girl: ha?
guy: maganda.

girl: shit! taken na lahat ng slots!
guy: alam mo, ok lang sa akin kung taken na lahat...
basta ikaw, hindi pa.

In fairness, bumenta sa`kin `tong mga `to.

And oh, yeah...I'm really excited because we'll be watching Pirates of the Carribean today after my sister's appointment with her orthodontist. Finally, the long wait for the third installment of the Pirates series is over. I hope the third part makes up for the cliffhanger syndrome that the second part gave millions of moviegoers around the world. I thought that the second part lacked substance and that kick that's present in the first Pirates, and I know that I'm not the only one who felt this way. But I guess seeing Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom was enough for most moviegoers, so viola, gross earnings still went sky-high. The power of aesthetics never ceases to amaze me.

Speaking of aesthetics, I've decided to change my blog's layout. It's inspired by one of my favorite anime series, Jigoku Shoujo. I hope the new skin's not too scary or dark for you.

I would also like to remind y'all that you can comment on my posts. There are links below each post which says 'make a request' and 'nagajuban's ready' which will each open a pop-up window for commenting and track-backs, respectively. It would be better if you use these rather than the tagboard. See, the tagboard can only hold a small amount of characters. It can't hold lengthy comments, reactions or opinions to my posts. So please exploit this feature. :)

*yawn* Oh, well. Seems like I won't stay awake `till the crack of dawn.

isang litanya kasi namimiss kita.

2007-05-27T21:01:00.000+08:00

If we were asked to enumerate the things that are still indecipherable to humans even if we have in our possession the most advanced technology and developments in this century, human emotions would obviously top the list.

Nobody could clearly define a pattern for human reactions and emotions that persons display in different situations. It is known that every human is different from each other---from their genetic make-up and DNA contents to the very mechanism that makes them tick in this world full of complications and questions that we either dare answer or leave eternally as a set of enigmatic problems. This set of questions is clearly undefined, even to the most brilliant human mind, for these questions require not supreme intellect and logic. Ironically, these questions break and fool wit and understanding making them the most difficult questions to answer. As a matter of fact, these characteristics made them hard to see and know that they are actually existing in their state: almost eternally unanswered and unsolved.

These questions are questions of the transcendental, religion, the complexity of social organizations, collective mentalities and consciousness, the mysteries of cultures and beliefs, even our past and future. Not all bother to ask questions on the things mentioned, but we all know of the questions that everybody recognize as enigma; the issues posed by the human "heart".

Emotions. Nobody really knows where they come from, but scientists present an interesting theory. Biologists say that emotions are in fact, just the increase in the levels of certain hormones and neurotransmitters. The excess levels make you react the way you do when faced with a certain a situation.

If we deem this to be the real reason, then what about crimes of passion? If a stalker kills a girl, then he could plead that he's not guilty due to hormonal imbalance.

Oh, yeah. I can see it now.

"Your honor, my client has experienced increased levels of serotonin in his blood which drove him to be obsessed with the victim. It was an imbalance in his biological mechanism that pushed him to stab the victim which lead to her death. So now, with the evidence due presented, I plead that my client be acquitted and not charged for this case."

Bah.

But isn't the other way around? Isn't it the increase in the levels of these chemicals the reaction mechanism of your body, rather than it being the causative factor for the things that you feel?

Feelings and emotions drive humans to the edge of their sanity and genetic predisposition.
Pity led women to kill themselves and drove men out of their heads, mercy made girls and boys sacrifice their education and young lives, and love and sacrifice made countless humans submit themselves to injustice everyday because of them. But note that it is also pity that saves the hungry, it is that sacrifice feeds the poor, love picks up the wounded and mercy clothes the naked.

We know what these feelings do to us and how they make our lives the way they are right now, but we still don't know where they flow from. Do they come from inside every human, or is there something or someone who supplies them to us? Are they programmed, or conditioned? Are they real, or just pure selfish indulgence?

These things shall be enigmatic for as long as the human race exists.
But having these questions give us reasons to find answers to them, no matter how futile the efforts are.
This is, the ultimate irony of the human race that will stand for generations to come.

Maybe humans are born to be ironic creatures.
That's how we are.
So damn stubborn. So damn hard-headed.
And, just the same, we don't, and maybe, we won't know why.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow, you'll be off somewhere, and I'll be left here with nothing to do but to just trust you.
But hey, I just want to let you know that I do...I sincerely do, because I chose to.

Goddammit, Jericho.

.....

I miss you.

tapos na ang summer

2007-05-27T12:16:00.001+08:00

Yay. Sa wakas, tapos na ang summer term ko.

Pero...

June 2- Release of grades
June 6- Registration and Enrollment
June 13- Classes resume

Oh, yeah.
Kumusta naman. Parang wala akong bakasyon ah. Haha.

Tawa naman dyan

2007-05-22T02:09:00.000+08:00

Gusto mong tumawa?

Puwes, panoorin mo ito.

Habang pinapanood mo, sabayan mo narin ng kanta.
Nakakabaliw itoh, pramis.

~~~~~~~~~~
Video link information courtesy of Jason Rombaoa and Rap Fulgar.

To the girl I know I will meet someday

2007-05-21T15:08:00.000+08:00

This morning, when I entered in my Fil 14 classroom at CTC 301, I flinched. It was an inferno. I was already sweaty and hot from walking from Berchmans and climbing four flights of stairs, and this classroom never really offered me comfort and rest from the blistering heat of the season. I noticed that our professor, Mr. Devilles, was quite early, as he always entered the room at exactly 9 in the morning. He was wearing a black polo and was wearing a weary expression on his face. I didn't really mind, since I thought that he may be also pissed off with the heat, or maybe he was thinking of how bad it was choosing to wear a black polo on this kind of weather. I went to my seat and immediately took out my fan and started to wave it vigorously in front of my face. The cool air did nothing to ease the heat that was hanging onto my skin like a film. I felt the sweat trickle down by back and my chest, and it was the most irritable feeling in the world. I cursed under my breath. Then, the second bell rang.

Mr. Devilles asked us to bring out a half sheet of paper for our daily quiz (I know you also do this in your Fil 12 class too). After we passed our papers, he said that he would announce something very important. A student of his just died last Saturday of Dengue fever.

It was you.

Mr. Devilles then proceeded to read an essay he wrote about you---how he knew you as a responsible beadle in your Fil 12 class and how they never really thanked you for all your efforts and sacrifices.

As Mr. Devilles was reading his essay, I tried to paint a picture of you in my mind. I tried to imagine what you looked like---how tall you were, what the color of your skin was and how your eyes looked like, which I then knew were chinky, according to Mr. Devilles' description. I can't help but think that maybe I even met you here in school. It could be that I have seen you in the lib, or maybe I was in line with you buying lunch in the caf. Maybe I have seen you in one of the photocopying stations here in school, or perhaps I have been in the ladies' room with you. I imagined that you were beautiful and graceful. But now you're gone, and I will never ever know if I really met you or not.

Then I felt my eyes sting. If it was because of the draft that was coming from the open windows, I can't be certain, but all I knew was I felt a deep pang of emptiness in my chest. I inhaled, and it was painful. Ellie, it felt like the air was hollowing me out, like it was emptying me of pulp like a pumpkin being carved for halloween. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. I tried to scream in my head, but I could hear were incoherent and indecipherable echoes. I shuddered and I realized that it was always the sensation when I wanted to cry. I closed my eyes and held the tears back.

Forgive me, Ellie...but the truth is I wanted to cry not because of your death. I felt this emptiness not because I knew of the implications that your departure may have on your parents, siblings, friends and acquaintances. No.

We were all taught that we shouldn't mourn and cry for the dead, because naturally dying is such a sweet thing, for it frees you from the clutches of the world---from all its goodness and evils, from all its beauty and ugliness. You know what, Ellie, I wanted to cry because I envy you. I envy you because you are now freed from this earth, from your body which is corruptible. I envy you because you have been taken out of this pig sty, which others worship and regard as their heaven. I envy you because you have no more deadlines to meet, no more tests to take and no more things to frown about. You will feel no more fatigue, sickness, dirt, corruption, suppression, oppression and judgment. No more. Just rest.

I'm tired...very tired.
But I know have to live, because I don't know when or how will I be taken from here.

Ellie, I want to see you, because I want to know if I have really met you somewhere or not. So when the time comes I have to die and be finally be freed from this world that makes me suffer so, meet me.

Till then, Ellie.

2007-05-19T03:59:00.000+08:00

From Gerald's blog.

You scored as Education/Counseling. You should strongly consider majoring in Education, such as early childhood education, middle childhood education, secondary education, or related majors (e.g., Vocational Education, Special Education, P.E./Physical Education).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Psychology is a great minor for education majors. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

English/Journalism/Comm

100%

Psychology/Sociology

100%

Education/Counseling

100%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

100%

HR/BusinessManagement

94%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

94%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

88%

Religion/Theology

75%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

69%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

69%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

69%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

69%

Visual&PerformingArts

63%

Mathematics/Statistics

25%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

Alay sa mga nag-aaral ng Calculus

2007-05-17T05:07:00.000+08:00

Oh, sorry naman.
I integrated wrong pala eh.
At moron pa ako.
CHE!

Kinailangan ko munang magpahinga sa kakakatingin sa mga ahas na may numero sa magkabilang dulo at may f(x)dx chorvaloo sa tabi nito.
Nakaka-shonga, promise.
Haaay..kaya ko itohhhh!
DARNA!
waha. Chos. :)

~~~~~~~~
CREDITS:
Image courtesy of Rafael Fulgar.
Ipinadala niya ito sa akin matapos niyang makita ang status message ko sa Y!M ("Calculus. AFK.").

NOTE TO SELF: *******, nagiging bading na yata ako.

STATUS: nalulusaw dahil nasasabik sa tamis

2007-05-15T03:51:00.000+08:00

GUSTO KONG MAG-ICE CREAM BAR SA SHAKEY'S!!

Sana lang may oras ako, dabah.
Nakaka-crayola ang pagsusunog ng eyebrowsh.

gusto kong tumili pero di ko magawa

2007-05-15T01:48:00.000+08:00

Hindi ako marunong tumili.

Sige. Pagtawanan niyo na ako kung gusto niyo. Pero, oo. Totoo. Hindi talaga ako marunong.
Kababae kong tao, hindi ko kayang banatin ang mga litid ko para maging tunog takure.

Nadiskubre ko ang kawalang ito noong first year high school. Nanyari ito noong ang mga kabarkada kong lalaki ay nagbabakla-baklaan, at naghihipuan. Sa bawat hipo't kurot sa utong ng isa't isa'y lumalabas ang matinis na sigaw na may impit mula sa mga lalamunan nilang may adams apple. Nagulat ako.

"Pare, ulitin mo nga yun." Sabi ko kay Magnus. Hindi kaila sa kanya na nagulat ako sa ginawa niya.
"Alin, pare?"
"Yung tili mo kanina."
"Kaw nalang tumili, pare. Kaya mo naman yun."

Ibinuka ko ang bibig ko at sinubukan kong tumili. Imbis na tunog-takure, ordinaryong sigaw lang ang lumabas. Inulit ko, pero wala pa rin nanyayari. Matawa-tawang tinawag ni Magnus si Otacan para makita niya rin ang kawalan ko ng talent. Che.

"********, hindi marunong tumili si Miles, pare!"
"Di nga!"
"Oo, ****, tingnan mo. Ulit nga, Miles!"
"Lalaki nga yan, pare! Mas marunong pa tayong tumili o!"

Salamat ha.

Simula noon, nag-iisip na ako ng paraan kung paano ako matututong tumili. Baka sakaling nade-develop naman yun, at hindi siya inborn.

Tuwing break, pupunta ako sa dulo ng corridor ng classroom namin, hahawakan ang rehas na bakal sa may fire exit at hihila ng kapangyarihan mula sa tiyan ko. Sabay bigwas ng, Eto na, tili na ito, panigurado.

Pero hindi. Olats. Sigaw parin.

Sa tuwing susubukan ko, nilalapitan ako ng mga kaklase kong mahihinhin at bibigyan ako ng tips.

"Ipitin mo ng konti ung lalamunan mo."
"Wag kang huminga ng malalim, sa lalamunan lang naman manggagaling yan."
"Subukan mo kayang mag-pa-opera?"

Di ko maalala kung anong ginawa ko sa taong nagsabi na mag-pa-opera nalang ako.

Di naglaon, napagod din ako, at sinabi ko sa sarili ko, Anak ng...sukatan ba ng pagkababae ang pagtili. ASA! ASAAAAAA!!!!

Hayun. Kaya't tinigilan ko ang pagsubok sa pagtili.

At hanggang ngayon, hindi parin ako marunong.

Lalaki nga yata talaga ako.

Toinks.

isang liham

2007-05-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

Mga Kaibigan,

Ano ka sa buhay?

Kakwentuhan.
Kabiruan.
Kaklase.
Kareklamuhan.
Karamay.
Kadamay.
Katulong.
Kasama kumain.
Kasama sa di-pagkain.
Kasabay sa pag-uwi.
Kasama sa pamamasyal.
Kasama sa pagtambay.

Ilan nga ba dito ang kaya ninyong gampanan sa habang buhay kayo?
Ilan nga ba dito ang kaya kong gampanan sa habang buhay ako?

Ngayon-ngayon lang, pinaratangan ninyo akong isang irresponsable at pabayang kaibigan.

Siguro ngayon marami nang opinyon at spekulasyon na umiikot. Marahil dahil sa inis at galit ay nasabi ninyo na porket ngayon na may minamahal na ako ay wala na akong pakialam sa mundo, lalo na sa nararamdaman ng mga kaibigan ko. Na hindi ko na gusto pa ng iba pang kasalamuha, kung hindi siya lamang. Na pinili kong hindi magpaunlak sa isang imbitasyon dahil lagi na lamang siya at siya na lamang ang mundo ko.

Nasaktan ako. Hindi ko akalain na kayo pa, ang mga taong akala kong naiintindihan ako, ay sila pang hindi pala ako nauunawaan. Lalo pa't nadamay pa ang taong walang kamuwang-muwang at walang sala sa mga pangyayaring ito.

Hindi ko nasabihan ng maayos ang mga taong dapat kong sabihan at hingan ng tawad. Marami akong ginagawa at hindi ko sinasadyang makalimutan ang mga bagay na dapat ay inaalala ko. Nag-aalala ako sa aking pag-aaral dahil napaka-bigat ng mga inaasahan sakin ng aking mga magulang. Idagdag mo pa ang pressure na naibibigay ng scholarship ko. Nang mga panahon na hindi ko pinaunlakan ang imbitasyon upang magsaya kasama ng mga kaibigan ko dahil may okasyon ay nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagpasan sa mga kabigatang ito.

Pero, tama. Hindi dahilan ito. Pasensya na.

Pero...

problema ko ito, hindi ba? Hindi ko dapat hinahayaan na makaapekto ito sa mga taong hindi naman problema ang suliranin ko. Hindi ba? SABIHIN NIYONG TAMA AKO.

Oo. Pag-aaral muna bago lovelife.
Oo. Friends muna bago lovelife.

Nasa lupa pa rin naman ako, hindi niyo lang ako nakikita dahil hindi ko kayo nakakasama. Hindi lang naman siya ang mundo ko. Sana huwag kayong manghusga hangga't hindi ninyo nakikita kung ano ba talaga ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko...o kung maari lamang ay huwag kayong magbulag-bulagan. Kayo dapat ang nakakakilala sa akin. Masakit isipin na ang pagkakakilanlan niyo sa akin ay hindi niyo na pinagkakatiwalaan.

Masakit maparatangan ng manhid. Masakit masabihan na nagbago ka na...at ikinasama mo ito.

Di ko lubos maisip na baka naitapon na ninyo lahat ng mga magagandang naipundar ko kasama niyo sa pagkakaibigan nating lahat dahil lamang sa pangyayaring yon.

Alam kong pabalang ang tono nang mga naisulat ko. Sinasadya ko yun. Alam kong dapat ay humihingi pa ako ng tawad sa mga nagawa ko, ngunit hindi ko ginagawa ngayon. Pasensya na. Pero sana naiintindihan niyo. Nasaktan ako sa sinabi ninyo. Hayaan niyo namang umalis sa pagkakakahon ang mga damdaming sinisiil ko ngayon.

Alam kong hindi ko na kayo nakakasama. Patawarin niyo ako kung sasabihin kong hindi niyo kasi ako tinatawag at inaabot. Pupuntahan ko naman kayo kung sakaling gawin niyo yun. Pero, pagkakamali ko rin siguro na inantay ko na kayo ang umabot sa akin, dahil dapat kumilos ako upang kayo ang abutin ko.

Sana naisip niyo rin na ni minsan hindi ko kayo nilimot. Ni minsan hindi nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa inyo.

Nasaktan ninyo ako.
Nasaktan ko kayo.
Patawad.

Paalam?
Ayaw ko.

Pero kung yun ang gugustuhin niyo...wala akong magagawa.

math long test

2007-05-03T14:05:00.000+08:00

....in approximately 2 and a half hours.

Kumusta naman...kinakabahan ako.

Kelangan ko ng kape.

At ng hug.

Err. Hephep.

Scratch the hug. May nakuha at patuloy na nakukuha na ako habang sinusulat ko ito. Ayos. Hehe.

dapat nasa bahay na ako...pero...

2007-05-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

Andito parin ako sa school.

E kung sa mas mabilis ang internet dito eh. waha.

May Calculus long test ako bukas, at sadly, hindi pa ako tapos mag-aral.
Sana makapag-aral ako ng matino mamaya pag-uwi ko.

Titira ako ng kape mamaya.

she cleanses away thy bitterness

2007-05-01T18:35:00.000+08:00

After my Death Note addiction comes my Jigoku Shoujo fixation.

Jigoku Shoujo (roughly translated as Hell Girl) is an anime series which is equally dark and psychologically stirring as Death Note. I have always liked books, comics, movies and shows with this theme, so it's no wonder that it really got me smitten.

Its story revolves around the Jigoku Shoujo, Enma Ai, a girl with red eyes who, by request will drag any body's tormentor to hell. Requests are done through an internet website, called Jigoku Tsūshin (roughly translated as Hell Correspondence) which can only be accessed by anyone who harbors a grudge and only at midnight. Helping her investigate and pass judgment are her assistants, Ichimoku Ren, Hone Onna and Wanyuudou.

The series also has its live action adaptation, which is equally as addicting as the anime series. I haven't finished the anime series yet, because I'm busy with school work, but I really hope I can finish it soon. Also, I hope to find a live action series source with English subtitles. All I see in YouTube are Spanish subbed.

For more information on the anime and the live action series of Jigoku Shoujo, click here.

excess of fluids

2007-04-30T08:10:00.000+08:00

Long before Pasteur formulated the germ theory of disease, the ancient Greeks had a rather eccentric theory to explain why diseases occurred in human beings. They say that any ailment is caused by the excess of any of the humors, or the fluids inside the human being. When any of these fluids go above their normal levels, they tend to cause a serious imbalance inside and therefore, cause discomfort and pain. The only way to relieve pain is to inflict more pain by extracting and taking out the excess fluids. To prove this theory, they have rather misrepresented a lot of things that occurred in the human body. A good example would be the appearance of pus. Yes, pus does appear like an excess portion of the skin's fluids, and it goes gushing out from an infected wound, which, of course, causes pain. And true enough to their theory, once you squeeze out all the pus and clean the wound, it heals more quickly. And so, because of pus and other "evidences", the Greeks have, for centuries, said "Hah! I told you so!"to other civilizations that coexisted with them.

As a Bio major, I find this theory funny, because due to modern and current knowledge, I know where diseases and other discomforts really come from. But just now, I realized that this ancient and baseless theory still holds true for certain things that occur in the human body and psyche.

Isn't crying an example of taking out excessive fluids from the body that may damage it completely? The lachrymal ducts in your eyes produce a great deal of fluid that clouds your vision, cleans your eyes and waters your parched cheeks. It gets rid of the excess humors that fill the mind and heart with incoherent cries and violence to the brim.

Notice that after you're done crying, you feel better.

You feel less hopeless.
You feel less suicidal.
You feel less homicidal.
Your head clears.
You see things better.

So taking out excess things from the body through tears has its benefits.

But it's funny that though we know of its benefits, we still don't want to cry.

It seems like that for humans, getting eaten and destroyed from the inside is a lot better than showing weakness and vulnerability.

Stupid human ego.

But hey, I am human, aren't I?

where the boat takes me nowadays

2007-04-30T04:41:00.000+08:00

CURRENT EVENTS

1.Current Activity
~blogging for my sanity

2. Current date and time
~April 30, 4.47 am

3.Current music (if any)
~Ever After- Bonnie Bailey

4.Current school, education level and course
~Ateneo, second year college, BS Bio

5.Current boyfriend/s
~Brad Pitt. No joke.
Ang hindi maniwala durugista.

6. Current weight
~108 lbs

7. Current vital stats
~34-25-34

8.Current addiction/s
~Anything sweet
~70's, 80's, 90's music
~Jigoku Shoujo
~Death Note
~Prince of Tennis
~Detective Conan
~George Orwell
~Calculus (WEH! toinks XD)

9.Current book/s
~Critical Essays - George Orwell
~Sons and Lovers -D.H Lawrence
~Ano Ngayon Ricky? -Rosario de Guzman-Lingat
~Calculus for the Life Sciences -Bittinger, Brand, Quintanilla (Toinks! isang malaking WEH)

10.Current computer program/s open as you answer this
~Winamp
~Mozilla Firefox
~Yahoo! Messenger

11.Current food favorite/s
~Anything sweet

12.Current food craving/s
~Chocolate.

13.Current drug/s (by this, I mean medications, if any)
~Ascorbic acid
~Supplemental Iron
~Caffeine

14. Current temperature of your surroundings
~According to the thermometer here, it's 30 degrees celsius.

15.Current negative vibes source/s
~Noise
~Excessive and incessant questioning
~Food other than sweets
~Drinks other than water
~Unsolicited remarks

16.Current positive vibes source/s
~Jericho
~Coffee
~Books
~Sweets
~School
~Work (Calculus----WEEEHHH)
~Silence
~Drawing
~Blogging

17.Current schedule
~
8-4.30---school
4.30-5.30---travel time
5.30-6---rest+bath time
6-9---sleep
9-wee hours---study, read, blog, watch videos...etc, etc...whatever rocks my boat

18.Current mood and disposition
~Contemplative and sensitive

19.Current time
~5.08 am

20.Current thoughts
~Plans for the week
~Calculus long test this Thursday
~Fil long test this Wednesday

21.Current problem/s
~Money
~Noise

22.Current companion/s
~wala, tulog pa sila lahat.

23.Current stuff in your bag
~Notebook
~Planner
~Photocopied Calculus exercises
~Planner
~Pencil case
~Kikay kit (toinks.)
~Umbrella
~Fil book
~Filipino dictionary
~wallet and coin purse
~comb
~fan

24.Current stuff waiting to be disposed
~Stash of scrap papers on my study table
~Old files in my PC
~Empty conditioner bottle in the bathroom
~Empty highlighter refill cartridge
~Old thoughts and feelings on something I did not dare tackle all my life (seeesh)

25.Current stuff waiting to be acquired
~Conditioner
~Highlighter refill cartridge
~Black Gtec C-3 refill
~Pants
~Shorts

26.Current news item/s in the society
~Miles Domingo, may boyfriend na? (please refer to 'current' number 5)
~Kris Aquino and baby James
~Oyo Boy switches networks
~Lady American military officer's (Campbell) murder
~Labor day rallies
~Elections

27.Current prominent sight/s
~Computer screen (glare and all)
~Frame of my pink eyeglasses
~Flash disk on the table
~George Orwell book
~Calculus exercises answered in practice notebook
~Empty coffee mug

28.Current tendency/ies
~Violence (if not given daily dose of caffeine)

29. Current thought/s
~When is this 'current' thing going to end?

30.Current thing/s to do after this
~Publish this
~Fix school stuff
~Go upstairs to take a bath
~Fix myself
~Go to school

~~~~~~~~~~
Taking a break from solving and drawing stuff.
Have a nice week, y'all.

George Orwell

2007-04-27T09:15:00.000+08:00

Animal Farm is love.
I should have read this book a lot earlier.

So childish is the method of delivery, but how deeply political it is.

mula sa pinapatigil para sa nagpapatigil

2007-04-25T03:35:00.000+08:00

Hindi lingid sa kaalaman ng mga kaibigan ko noong high school na hindi ako kumakain ng madalas. Alam nila na puwedeng dumaan sa akin ang tatlong araw na hindi kumakain ng hindi ko namamalayan. Normal lang ito lahat para sa akin, at sa totoo lang, ipinagmamalaki ko pa ito. Hindi lahat ng tao ay may ganitong pagtagal sa hindi pagkain. Puwedeng puwe niyo akong isalang sa Survivor. Tubig lang, puwede na.

Alam rin nila na kung kakain man ako, isang cup noodles lang at sky flakes, solb na ako nun hanggang kinabukasan. Alam din nila na kakain lang ako kapag malungkot na malungkot ako. At kung nagkataon, baka makayanan kong kumain ng isang kalderong kanin with matching ulam na isang bandehado rin. Pero hindi madalas ang mga ganitong pangyayari. Kadalasan ay masaya naman ako. Kaya't kadalasan, hindi rin nakakatikim ng pagkain ang katawan ko. Kung makakatikim man ito, pilit nitong ilalabas ito upang mapanatili ang kawalan sa loob ko.

Siguro naiisip niyo na kung anong kondisyon ko. Hindi, hindi ako ganun. Para sa akin, wala ito, kahit matagal na nilang sinasabi na ganon nga ako. Tatawagin niyo akong ganun, e hindi pa naman ako buto't balat? Sa pangarap palang yun.

Kahit anong himok nila sa akin para kumain ng normal at maayos, hindi ko sila pinakinggan kahit minsan. Ngingiti lang ako, saglit na tatango at o-oo, pero sa loob ko alam kong ayaw ko at hindi ko kailangang gawin iyon. Hindi sa hindi ko sila mahal at itinuturing na kaibigan. Nakikita ko na na-a-alarma sila sa ginagawa ko, ngunit para sa akin, walang dapat ika-alarma. Buhay pa naman ako, maayos naman ang pakiramdam ko. Isa pa, kung kakain ako, tataba ako.

Pero ikaw, ang kulit mo.
Ikaw lang, sa tanan ng pagiging ganito ko ang nakapagpakain sa kin ng isang cup ng kanin at pinapigilan pa sa akin ang maasim na bolang gustong kumawala sa lalamunan ko habang kumakain. Nagagalit ka pa sa akin. Pinapanood pa mo ang bawat subo ko sa pagkain ko. Sabay ngingiti ka. Hindi ko maintindihan, pero parang ginusto ko nang ubusin ang kinakain ko noon. Nalabuan ako nun, pero ang lumalabas malinaw na gusto ko ang approval mo.

Sinabi mong dapat akong mangako sa'yo na ayusin ang pagkain ko. Nangako ako. Pero may oras talaga na mas malakas ang higit apat na taong gawain ko na ito. Sinabi ko sa'yo to, at umiyak ako. Inaasahan ko nang magagalit ka na sa akin hanggang sa mamatay tayo pareho, o hanggang mamatay ako dahil dito, pero hindi. Hindi ko inaasahan, pero umiyak ka kasama ko.

Nang mga panahon na ito, lagi akong umiiyak pagkatapos kong kumain. Hindi ko maintindihan, pero tumutulo nalang ang luha. Parang pakiramdam ko, may inilagay ako sa katawan kong hindi dapat andoon. Mag-te-text ako sa'yo, sasabihin kong nahihirapan na ako. Sasabihin mong kaya ko ito, dahil para sa ikabubuti ko ito. Ipapaalala mo ang pangako ko sa'yo. Pipikit ako hahawakan ang bracelet na bigay mo, at titigil ang luha.

Ngayon, sa bawat kalahating tasang kanin na aking pilit na inuubos at pilit ipasok sa tiyan ko, ikaw ang naiisip ko. Ikaw at ang pangakong binitiwan ko.

Salamat, Jericho.

college life straight from Miles' mouth

2007-04-16T15:01:00.000+08:00

For Mia and other interested college freshmen

Today is the day I begin to live as a college sophomore as today is the first day of my summer classes. I have summer classes all my college life, because it is a requirement of BS Bio.

Losing my summer to academics sucks, but I really feel that it is, indeed, an affirmation, that I am already a student taking her tertiary education in a university. The first two semesters still felt like high school, because I went to school at 8 and classes end at 4.30 in the afternoon. Also, the way I treated academics were still high school-like. It was just recently I learned to go out with my block mates or with other people to eat and have a good time. It was just that I was trained in my high school to be rigid and strict when it comes to studying, even though I get frequent pangs of laziness and procrastination attacks.

I remember when my life here in Ateneo officially began. The school sent letters and instructions for the annual Orientation Seminar (OrSem) for the incoming freshmen. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest as I read the letter, because for three days, I'd be there, stuck in a sea of people I don't know. It was pretty much like my first day in kindergarten, only that I was more confident then. I don't know why, but there's something I feel that's so big and formidable in college that I just know I'll not be able to take it head on. Maybe the knowledge that my college years will be probably be the last time I'd study and hit the books, and it would be the years that would pave my career, scared me. The fact that a minimum of four years in a university could make or break your life hit me like a huge rock. This 'new chapter' of my life is a difficult one to open, but the knowledge that much depended on it made it made it harder to leave the old chapters behind. Also, the thought that I am entering the Ateneo, a university that many say is an 'elitist' one, made me flinch. I came from a middle class family and a public science high school, so I felt in my heart that UP is the right place for me.

OrSem came, and I met a lot of new people and friends. My course block (L2) and English block (R36) were groups of very nice and friendly people, and I immediately felt that I was welcome.
I was happy to know that I am still surrounded by normal people, though a vast majority of the school population still screamed "RIIIICCCHHH!!!" in my ears. From then on, I knew that I would be dealing with different kinds of people here in this school. The diversity of the people here excited me, and I was happy to know that someday, I would find my place here.

Everything that you'd experience in the whole course of your academic and social life in college would teach you the things that you need to know to go out into the big meat grinder: the real world. From the OrSem to your graduation day, you will always be taught to do things yourself and these things would always open a new door for you. They'd teach you not the theoretical aspect of life, but rather the application of these things. I remember my first shot with this lesson. When I registered for my first semester, I had no adult to supervise what I was doing. I was very nervous, because I was used to doing things like this with an adult---I was just tagging along. I had to rely on reading and listening to instructions said or posted by the RegCom staff, asking politely and smiling to people I didn't know. It was like a practical test for my Reading comprehension and GMRC and Values classes when I was in grade school and high school. When I was finally registered, all was done, and I was very proud of myself.

The spirit of independence is always expected to be imbibed in you in a university because aside from registering or enrolling yourself in school, there are a lot of aspects of your life in college that would require it. Take the simple act of commuting to school. Many, including me, find this relatively easy to do (though the fact that you'd encounter traffic, heat, rain and pollution outside is difficult to ignore), but I know people who have never ridden a jeep all their life. When college came, they had to do it in order to bring themselves to school. The joys of seeing places, meeting people, eating street food and even the dangers in the street is a whole new dimension for them. Though I knew how to commute, I have a ridden in a school bus for almost 12 years. I have seen a lot of aspects of the streets of Manila, but I admit that there a lot of things that I have yet to learn that really surprise. Take the blood-curling traffic in Katipunan for example. It never seems to dissipate because of the big volume of cars trying to fit themselves in the narrow road. I have experienced leaving my house an hour and a half before my class just to experience the bitter irony of ending up 10 minutes late all because of the damned traffic jam in the road just across my school.

In college, your whole world will probably revolve around your academics, as it is the very reason for being in school (duh! haha. :)). You're expected to attend your classes, like in high school, but there are stuff that might be new for freshmen. For example, for every subject, you'd go from one classroom to another. You'd have different teachers, and every one of them have their own set of rules, which are, of course, are based on the school's rules. Professors and instructors very rarely spoon feed, neither do they run after you when you miss a requirement or when you're failing. They also give you the freedom not to attend their classes (called 'cuts'), provided that you don't go over the maximum number of absences. They don't teach and talk a lot, and they expect you to have read or studied in advance a least. Also, you'd find that for your classes, you can choose your own professors and subjects, fix the whole lot of your schedule yourself and you could also choose to take extra units or less units for the semester. You can choose to get the difficult but challenging prof, or the easy-A prof, and same goes with the subjects. Freshmen are under the block system so they won't get to choose most of their classes and professors now, though. The closest thing they could get to what the upperclassmen are doing is choosing their own PE class. Imagine that, you could choose your own PE class now---the sport or discipline you want! How cool is that? Now that's totally different from high school.

But don't think that every thing screams academics here. There is the freedom of choosing your extra-curricular activities, such as joining an organization. There is definitely an org in Ateneo that would meet and feed your interests and talents, and you can choose to join it or not. You can choose to be org-less or org-full (meaning, joining more than one org) for the school year. You can choose to be an active member, or even go as far as elected for a leadership position in it.

As you've noticed, most of the things that are done here in college are fueled by independence and choice. But it's not always that. Remember that there always exists this thin line between being PLAIN independent and RESPONSIBLY independent.

There's this thing called the "Freshman Syndrome". This is a collection stereotypical stuff that freshmen tend to do and experience in their virgin year in college. Freshmen tend to be in small groups always, stick to their blocks and be noisy in school public areas. They are cheery and happy with the new experiences and friends that they have. They tend to explore and go around the school, and are eager to try out the facilities (such as the internet connections in the comlabs, the study halls and the library. And oh, did I mention you can actually sleep in the library? *wink*).

But also part of the "stereotypical stuff" are the problems and errors freshmen tend to do unknowingly. Given that their schedule has lots of breaks in it (I had two 3-hour breaks in both semesters for my freshman year), they tend to go out of school and hang out in Katipunan, or even go as far as watching a movie in Eastwood or Gateway. They join lots of orgs, then be cold, active or hyperactive in it. Most freshmen had trouble adjusting with the professor's independence scheme that they tend to be the batch that bash profs the most. They were so used to being spoon fed so they resort to saying that profs "...don't teach a goddamn thing!" or "They make us read too much!".

So, I say that what incoming freshmen have to see, based on my experience, is that they have to see and learn, sooner or later, that THIS IS THE SYSTEM THAT EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH and they had to cope and improve, fix themselves accordingly or leave it and the school for good. I have seen people who became drunk with the independence that college life offered them. It topped their logic much to their scholastic demise. They fell out of the boat for good(read: kicked out of school).

Since you have lots of long breaks, learn to use them wisely and properly for studying or doing some school stuff. Not that I'm saying that you should take out your bonding time with your friends completely, but you should also take time out to study in the lib. It really helps. Movies in Eastwood can wait. Instead of bashing your prof, why not try to learn and accept his or her style and cope with it? Read in advance, write more, practice solving problems more. Sure, you can bash him for eternity, but bashing him and not working and doing anything about his subject at all won't get you an A, or a D even. Joining orgs is fun, yes, but avoid being hyperactive. On the other hand, avoid joining, and then, be a no-show. Learn to find the right balance between org life and academic life in order to find the level of activity that is right for you.

There's this saying that in life, independence is fuel, but discipline is the engine. You are expected to be independent, but you are also expected to handle it well.

I wish you all the best, and I hope that college would teach you every thing, if not most of the things that you could use with our everyday bouts with the real world.

new skin, baby!

2007-04-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

Finally! :)

Just to promote a change in scenery, I chose something orange and pretty...and the song I really love (Ever After by Bonnie Bailey) as its theme to boot.

Hope y'all like it as much as I do.

Cheers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my twisted sunshine...
Sana Thursday na...

vacay! oh yeah, baby

2007-04-10T10:28:00.000+08:00

I just returned from my 2 day stay in Mindoro with my family. We left April 6th, and came back to Manila on the 8th. It was all fun in the beach and family bonding...and I'm going to upload all the photos from the trip in Multiply, as soon as the internet connection here stops being a pain in the gluteus maximus.

Summer school starts in a week, and honestly, I'm really quite excited. Though many of my upperclassman Bio friends say that having Calculus during the summer would drain out most of your gray matter, I would like to take on the challenge.

Maybe one of the reasons I'm excited about taking summer school is because it is the affirmation that I am now officially a college student. Only college students have summer classes not necessarily because they failed a subject. It could be a requirement for their course, pretty much like my case as a Bio major.

This Thursday, i'll be going to school to get my grades, and the next day for the reg.
And then, finally, on the 16th, summer school begins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POP! goes my heart!
haha.

sleep...or the lack thereof

2007-03-29T03:52:00.000+08:00

It's been weeks since I slept on my bed.
I've resorted to sleeping on the sofa for a quick energy jumpstart. After that, it's back to the PC or to the books.

It's been a really busy month for me, and I've been doing a lot of reading and typing.
Many might hate this situation, but I love it. I know it's weird, but I feel more energetic when I go to school without any sleep at all because of work. I love the feeling when I lack sleep, pretty much like how I love the feeling when I'm hungry.

Call me weird.
But not many are gifted with this reverse reactions to hunger and lack of sleep.
It provides me with a lot of benefits, you know. I can work non-stop without having to stop to eat or sleep. I am every capitalist's dream employee.
Who knows? They might even go as far as reproducing robots or human beings with my disposition and circadian rhythm in their gears or genotype.

But hey, being like this has its downside.
I have anemia (which is aggravated by my lacto-ovo pescetarian diet).
I have eyebags.
I'm a caffeine addict. Heck, pati Extra Joss pinapatulan ko na.
If there's nothing to drink, i resort to making a hundred sit-ups to keep me awake.
Just like any caffeine addict, I become cranky if I haven't had any coffee.
My stomach's so used to its empty state that it tends to reject food sometimes.
I feel so heavy and burdened after eating a just a pack of Skyflakes.

Or when worse comes to worst...

I'll die early.

Time to change?
Naw. I still have med school.
I need this to survive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just finished my finals for 3 subjects yesterday (9.30-5 pm).
But I'm not yet done. 3 more papers to go. I'm glad I finished 2. One more to go. That damned english compilation. oy, vay.

I have to get a new skin for my blog...just to promote a change in scenery. :)
Happy vacation y'all...